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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Builders or neighbour BU?

62 replies

Anotherdayanother2 · 10/06/2020 12:34

I currently have building works going on and granted my neighbour has had to put up with a lot, I'm not sure who is being unreasonable.

I had builders working on the party wall so sought permission from my neighbour. The builders told her they wouldn't access her garden but would work from my side only - although there would be some debris which they will clean up. She was fine with this.

Day arrives. 8.15 am they step onto neighbours garden to look at the wall. Neighbour goes ballistic, saying they were trespassing, she could have been naked etc. There is no fence between the properties.

Builder storms off to the front where I have just arrived. Neighbour comes to the front and starts saying to the builder that had it been a black man in her garden and she was a white woman (she is mixed) then the police would be involved. But as she is black then she just has to put up with it.

Builder apologises and said he was merely looking and quits saying he cant work under these conditions.

I stood there in shock as had only just arrived and couldn't work out what was going on. The conversation lasted 2 minutes at most.

I generally get on well with my neighbour to the extent that there has been no prior conflict and we only last week spoke about erecting a new fence together.

So who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:21

understandmenow
What do you think the relevance of the batshit crazy neighbour referring to the has it been a black man, she would've informed the police?

what the OP wrote is ^But as she is black then she just has to put up with it.*

nicely twisting the OP's word or didn't you bother reading them?

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 14:22

No one is saying you can't have work done FFS @understandmenow you are being deliberately obtuse. But the OP needs to go round there and find out whats been going on, not immediately adopt the stance that the neighbour is in the wrong for objecting and the builder is some sort of victim in this.

I'm not being obtuse, but you're being ridiculous! She's got no fence, she has her gardener step on OPs land, she says she'd call the police if the guy was black..... and you think that's reasonable?

I bet there have been a great many little things like this that he has "only" done and then apologised for and it sounds like your neighbour had reached the end of her tether.

But of course it's the builders fault ....

I am allowed my own opinion you know, you understand that? So no I'm not being "obtuse" at all!

areyoubeingserviced · 10/06/2020 14:22

Op, YABU
The builder went onto your neighbour’s land without permission. It’s as simple as that.

Sparklfairy · 10/06/2020 14:23

My neighbour has said that she wants to replicate the same extension on her side so that she will actually be using the party wall that I have built when she does build

The same neighbour who doesn't have time to put a fence up?

Tbh it sounds like the builder and neighbour have clashed before and she's just had enough. If you've not been on site you probably have no idea what's been going on and she's just quietly put up with it. IME builders can be quite ignorant and crack on with the job with little consideration of neighbours and boundaries.

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:24

understandmenow

she says she'd call the police if the guy was black..... and you think that's reasonable?

did she? That's nowhere near what the OP wrote... quite the contrary actually.

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 14:24

@Homemadeandfromscratch my point is the colour of the builder, the neighbour or anyone is irrelevant ! Absolutely totally irrelevant!

Come on, you're just jealous that someone can renovate a house and live elsewhere! I say lucky for them, I could afford it but good for them.

It means less building time, so a win win situation.

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 14:26

My neighbour has said that she wants to replicate the same extension on her side so that she will actually be using the party wall that I have built when she does build. So it was in her best interest to actually have it done properly.

Not if it were my party wall she wouldn't! Nah, she can go take a running jump for that!

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:28

understandmenow

you are the one coming up with points and calling them irrelevant when people point out you are wrong and you misunderstood

Jealous? really? is that the best argument you can come up with?

Lilybet1980 · 10/06/2020 14:29

Is the work being done under a party wall award? If so they usually state notice needs to be given to gain access to the adjacent property.

Yes it’s tough for neighbours when people have building work done, but whether or not the owner lives there is completely irrelevant, the same work needs doing so the noise will not suddenly be reduced by the owner choosing to stay in the property. All that will happen is the work will go on for longer.

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:30

if it were my party wall she wouldn't!

ok.... I think some people struggle with basic concepts and comprehension on this thread

Lilybet1980 · 10/06/2020 14:33

OP your neighbour sounds as crazy as mine. Refused access to her property when we had a shared wall repaired (that we paid for in full) but then thought it was perfectly ok of her to lean over the fence to take photos of my property.

That said the builders should have given warning they needed to access her property.

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 14:33

@Homemadeandfromscratch you have to get permission to use the "party" wall, I did when we had our extension built. Luckily we have nice normal neighbours, who don't get hysterical over building works and have a fence up.

They're great and clearly not like the majority of batshit crazy MNs, who think it's ok not to have a fence for FOUR years and then moan about their privacy!

ProfessorPollington · 10/06/2020 14:35

Our neighbour's builder walked all over our property without notice and left it in a right mess (they used the roof of our extension as a workspace without asking and left it and our deck splattered with drying mortar). I was livid although my neighbours really couldn't have cared less and didn't bother speaking to us about it, just sent the builder round to clean it up and he told me his workmen couldn't be arsed cleaning !

It's very rude to go onto her property without speaking to her first and getting her permission. Your builder is in the wrong here.

Suspect there is a bigger history though.

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:37

but whether or not the owner lives there is completely irrelevant
the point was that if the owner is not on site, they have no way of knowing what the level of disturbance can be for the neighbours.

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 14:41

understandmenow

I'd love to know the set up of your property, even if I'd removed all the fences in my garden, my neighbours wouldn't have access to my property or even be able to view inside my house.

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 15:02

I'd love to know the set up of your property, even if I'd removed all the fences in my garden, my neighbours wouldn't have access to my property or even be able to view inside my house.

It's really quite a simple set up @Homemadeandfromscratch, mid terraced house, garden in the rear around 80ft long, so say house numbers 1,3,5 and I'm no 3, left had fence stops no 1 accessing my property on seeing inside my property if they are at the end of the garden, no 5 the right hand fence does the same. It's quite simple, you don't need a diagram I'm sure.

I thought fences were a fairly common and usual boundary, clearly OP and her neighbours are the same as the lack of fence meant the builder could step on the batshit neighbours property and see inside.

What's your set up then, that it doesn't matter that you don't have fences?

BaileysforBreakfast · 10/06/2020 15:02

Batshit crazy person joins thread to misconstrue OP and call people jealous and batshit crazy...

Longwhiskers14 · 10/06/2020 15:05

Unless you were there throughout, you actually have no idea what your neighbour has endured. Ours moved out when they had a major renovation done and their builders behaved atrociously – not only was the radio on the scaffolding set to Ibiza club level despite us asking them repeatedly to turn it down (I WFH), but they also threw fag butts and food rubbish from their lunches our back garden where our DC played, constantly cut across our front because the NDN's was blocked (they could've cleared it but couldn't be bothered) and they even had the cheek to have building materials delivered to our front garden and couldn't understand why we objected! We gave them short shrift but it made no difference and when our neighbours were on site they were of course on their best behaviour so our complaints weren't taken seriously. It actually soured our relations and they haven't recovered. So I suspect lots of other incidents have happened and this is the final straw for your neighbour.

DishingOutDone · 10/06/2020 15:13

@BaileysforBreakfast indeed. We are not allowed to engage Battshitter in arguments as they are allowed their opinion, doncherknow.

Pr1mr0se · 10/06/2020 15:15

Builder broke the rules that has been agreed by stepping into the garden without permission. He could have asked first.

Neighbour is being unreasonable if they are not willing to put a fence up.. However building regulations state that all building sites should be contained so you are being unreasonable to not insist your builder puts up a temporary fence (or you could organise it) then he wouldn't have been able to access your neighbours garden without permission.

They both being unreasonable in their response - but I think your neighbour is the one who you need to apologise too.

understandmenow · 10/06/2020 15:17

Oh come off it @DishingOutDone and @BaileysforBreakfast we've got people here saying how they can't understand how not having fences means you can access someone else's property....now that's batshit.

These threads as I stated at the beginning are always full of whinging whining people saying but you don't know what the builders are doing, you don't understand how difficult it is with noise. Most of us experience at sometime in our lives and just get on with it.

LakieLady · 10/06/2020 15:44

IME builders can be quite ignorant and crack on with the job with little consideration of neighbours and boundaries

Scaffolders are worse!

When my neighbour was having her extension built, I came home from work to find that the scaffolders had put scaffolding across our drive and I couldn't get my car in!

Her builder was fab, gave them a bollocking and made them re-do it and apologise, and came round and apologised in person.

Then, when they took the scaffolding down, they dropped a scaffold board and a clip and it crashed through our garage roof. Builder was mortified and got his men to repair the roof, and brought round flowers and wine for us. And the guys who actually did the work were really considerate, when they did something that was unusually dusty, they'd come and warn me so that I could close the windows, and they helped me load stuff into my car a couple of times. I used to make them cold drinks on hot days and quite missed them when they'd finally finished.

Lilybet1980 · 10/06/2020 16:16

The fact is some neighbours can be unreasonable and some builders can be unreasonable. When we had building work done one neighbour complained constantly and the other said how considerate they found our builders and said the noise wasn’t bad at all. They can’t both be right!

NailsNeedDoing · 10/06/2020 16:23

Your neighbour is being a bit ridiculous, but who knows what else she has going on in her life right now that made her have such an extreme reaction. She shouldn’t have to put up with people unexpectedly in her garden, so she has a right to be pissed off and say something about it, even if she didn’t say it well.

You and your builders should be apologetic.

However extreme she was though, your builder was worse! It was his mistake and he should accept the telling off he rightly got for it. There is no way he should be leaving you in the lurch because he caused a problem and then got told off about it. He sounds like a toddler who’s just had his sandwiches cut the wrong way.

Homemadeandfromscratch · 10/06/2020 16:46

understandmenow

people here saying how they can't understand how not having fences means you can access someone else's property.

you would expect most adults (even children) to understand about property boundaries even without a physical fence. If I take off my fence, my neighbours won't translate it as an invitation to picnic on my lawn.
You go on people front lawn if they haven't got it fenced it up have you?

Technically unless your fence is 5 meters tall we can all climb over them and go into neighbours properties, it's not about what you "can" is having a minimum of intelligence and respect.
Clearly lacking unfortunately.

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