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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What comments have driven you mad?

71 replies

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 14:16

Hi everyone!! This is my first 'proper' post so please be kind, have seen some of the other posts and been too shy to join in (some are quite scarey)so I thought that I would take a deep breath and give it a go myself!!O.kay, so here's the thing:
What comment has annoyed you mums the most after giving birth to your children?
I'm a mum of triplets and had to put up with endless questions from complete strangers about my medical history!! Why did I end up with triplets? Do you or your husband have trouble concieving? Couldn't you have children on your own? Do you have some sort of medical condition, what is it?
Now don't get me wrong I am quite happy to discuss my pregnancy with anyone, in the right situation, but do you really think the meat counter of Tesco's is a suitable place for the subject in front of a crowd of listeners?!! Am I being cranky or not?!!

OP posts:

lissielou · 23/09/2007 14:21

YANBU, people seem to think that as soon as you are pg your sex life is public property.

welcome to mn, how old are your triplets and what flavour?

Chirpygirl · 23/09/2007 14:23

Hi TripletEm!
DH (very short dark hair) and I (long dark hair) were in the park once with DD, (long very very blonde hair) and someone said to me
'Your partner's very good with her, considering she's not his'

I have never told DH this as he would have lamped them! (She is very much his!)

beansprout · 23/09/2007 14:25

Welcome TripletEm. It starts from the moment your bump is visible and drives me mad. I can only imagine the crap you have to put up with when you have triplets!

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 14:29

Thanks guys, thought I might end up being billy no mates!!

My guys are 4yrs and I have two girls and one boy, so I've got the set!!

glad its not just me then!! I always wish that i had not been so shy and turned the question round on them. I wonder how many people would have been offended if i had said "Is that your child? Hope you don't mind me asking but exactly what position were you in when your child was concieved and do you prefer the lights on or off?!!"

OP posts:

MaryAnnSingleton · 23/09/2007 14:31

people can be shockingly rude and presumptuous ! welcome TripletEm by the way !

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 14:39

Sorry just been jumping round the room at the fact that my post has been answered, after I sent it I thought 'Oh No! Eveytime I log in my sad lonely little post was going to be there reading 1 message:me!!'

Thanks for the welcome, oh and chirpygirl i left you a thread on yesterdays post not sure if you saw it.

OP posts:

lissielou · 23/09/2007 14:42

lol, ybh, whenever people ask if we are trying for another one now, i go into loads of detail, they never ask again.

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 14:52

Yeah!! Wish I had done that on a few occasions, but was still a very shy first time mummy. Don't worry motherhood has got me prepared now. Hey perhaps I could draw a diagram....in colour!! Oh how evil the mind of a annoyed mother can be!!

OP posts:

MarsLady · 23/09/2007 14:54

TripletEm.... come join us on the d'y ever threads. We've had those comments in abundance. In fact we've all decided to make a leaflet to hand out to people in the streets!

I'm a mum of twins (DTs) and what makes me laugh in an oh sarcastic way is the "but he's so much bigger than she is. There's NO WAY that they are twins". My mistake then! lol

lissielou · 23/09/2007 14:55

lol just make sure you make the noises too!

MarsLady · 23/09/2007 14:56

there you go TripletEm this is where the rest of the mad folk multiple mums congregate sometimes lol

edam · 23/09/2007 14:59

Triplet, I'm the mother of an only child and am always astonished by the number of people who think it's OK to question us. Are you planning any more etc. etc. etc. Don't leave it too long. Oh, don't you worry that he'll be spoilt. ETc. etc. etc. Always want to say 'My sex life's just fine, thanks, how's yours?'

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 15:01

Yes!! Audio!! I like it. Thats settled then. From now on all new mothers or mothers who are still getting asked must carry with them at all times documents of an explicit and embarrassing nature to confirm their childs history into this world. Can't wait until I bump into my 70yr neighbour, in fact I might just have to make a nice cake to take around there tomorrow!!

OP posts:

motherinferior · 23/09/2007 15:02

I think probably the most annoying one I get all the time is 'aren't they curly'. Er, yes. The Inferiorettes are curly. Very curly. Oddly enough, over the past six years of living with DD1 and four years of living with DD2, I had noticed the curliness. Yes, they are curly. No, I don't do anything to make their hair curly (wtf?). Yep, yep, curly, yada, yada, yada...

I know, I know it's a really minor comment but it drives me insane.

lissielou · 23/09/2007 15:08

i get, oooh he has red hair, where did that come from.

my hair is auburn (oh ok, red) no matter how many times i dye it. i think its fairly obvious where the red came from.

Chickhick · 23/09/2007 15:09

Lol TripletEm! I have one ds (3.1) and I am forever being asked if I am actively trying for another one, why have I chosen to have such a big age gap? Is it because I can't cope with ds? It drives me mad! Once you have a child I think everyone thinks that your life is public property, it starts with strangers stroking your bump and just gets worse with people demanding to know whether you will breastfeed, when you are going to wean why did you wean at that particular age?, why is your child so naughty, how do you discipline him etc etc....

I never realised before I had ds that people are just so bloody interfering!

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 15:10

thanks guys I.ve had a blast, unfortunately my negotiation skills are needed downstairs as world war three has just broken out between my kids and i don't want to be stuck in casualty tonight whilst they try and dislodge various pieces of lego from places where they really shouldn't be. Hope to have a natter with you all again soon, and will take you up on that invite Marslady, is it casual or smart dress over there?!

OP posts:

MarsLady · 23/09/2007 15:12

Smart??????? we're multiple mums you know. There's no time for smart!!!!!!! lol

motherinferior · 23/09/2007 15:13

Don't believe her - I've met Mars and she's a babe

Miaou · 23/09/2007 15:14

On a similar note, MI, for one reason or another dd1 and dd2 both had bobbed hair for a year or so when they were about 6 and 4. Closely following the "are they twins?" comments in frequency were the "aren't they alike?" (er - no, not really) and "ooh how do you tell them apart?" (well one is two years older than the other and wears glasses ). Needless to say I gave up in the end and dd1 grew her hair long and dd2 had hers cut short!

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 15:15

Phew!! I'm gonna fit in just fine then!! Having my hair cut next week, been a whole year, told my hairdresser to come quickly before I do a Britney!! Casual enough?!!
Cheerio All,

OP posts:

theUrbanDryad · 23/09/2007 15:32

welcome TripletEm! i used to get really pissed off with the endless comments when ds was born. for the first few weeks it was ok, but then i got fed up with the constant "How old is he? How much does he weigh? Was it a difficult birth??"

i mean, you don't just go up to someone and say, "Excuse me, how old are you, and how much do you weigh? Oh, and are you a boy or a girl?"

i've had various comments from people for babywearing as well. most notably, the woman who rushed up to us and forced ds' head up (he was leaning back looking at the sky) and said, "He's not safe in there!" Um yeah, obviously i just left the house with him thrown in any which way, i'm not bothered if he falls out!!

prettypurpledaisy · 23/09/2007 16:29

Ds was about 2 and a big boy on trampolines on sea front when a woman stood next to me said 'that will get all that fat off him' I could have cried, I know he was largere than average but didn't deserve that. I went home and cried

SlightlyMadSweden · 23/09/2007 16:33

Talking to a friend about breastfeeding (at about 6-8wks ish). I was doing OK and gave no inidication of anything to the contrary.

First thing she said was

"I bet you wich you had never started [bf'ing]" I was ...I was very happy bf'ing.

bookwormtailmum · 23/09/2007 16:52

I've got one dd aged 7 and lots of people say things like 'oh, it's a shame she hasn't got a sister/brother'. As though I've deliberately not conceived her a sibling in order to screw up her life. I'd prefer it if she wasn't a single child but really is it any of their business?

I occasionally answer comments like that with something like 'well you can pay for the next one then'. It does nark me though.

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