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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What comments have driven you mad?

71 replies

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 14:16

Hi everyone!! This is my first 'proper' post so please be kind, have seen some of the other posts and been too shy to join in (some are quite scarey)so I thought that I would take a deep breath and give it a go myself!!O.kay, so here's the thing:
What comment has annoyed you mums the most after giving birth to your children?
I'm a mum of triplets and had to put up with endless questions from complete strangers about my medical history!! Why did I end up with triplets? Do you or your husband have trouble concieving? Couldn't you have children on your own? Do you have some sort of medical condition, what is it?
Now don't get me wrong I am quite happy to discuss my pregnancy with anyone, in the right situation, but do you really think the meat counter of Tesco's is a suitable place for the subject in front of a crowd of listeners?!! Am I being cranky or not?!!

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 23/09/2007 18:23

I get "Look at your blonde hair, where did you get that!" to ds3 ( I'm dark-haired} Erm, from his Daddy.
One lady at the swimming pool asked me if it was ds3's natural hair colour! No, we get the peroxide out every night.... He's 2!

Twiglett · 23/09/2007 18:27

No I have not streaked my 3 year old DD's hair .. because that would be stupid

coppertop · 23/09/2007 18:30

Ds1 looks a lot like dh. Ds2 looks more like me. I've lost count of the number of times dh has been asked "Are they both yours?" It's tempting to reply that no actually ds2 is the product of a quickie with the bloke who came round to read the gas-meter one day but I suspect they would take it seriously.

Chirpygirl · 23/09/2007 18:32

Oh god MI, the hair thing!

'OOh, doesn't she have long hair, isn't it long, doesn't she have a lot of it....'

Like you hadn't noticed!

I just thought of another though, DD is 19 months and I am 38 weeks pregnant, and all I get is people telling me
'Oh, a small gap like that is so hard, you will need lots of help, you won't be able to cope, it's a nightmare etc etc'

Thanks, I really need to hear that!

Greensleeves · 23/09/2007 18:33

Mars, I SO hope you do actually say "Oh, my mistake then", rofl

fryalot · 23/09/2007 18:41

the hair thing:

dd2 has mousy brown, very very curly hair and brown eyes.

ds has very blonde, very straight hair and bright blue eyes

"aren't they different"

oh are they? I hadn't noticed
"Is your dp the father of them both?"

Nah, he just decided to stick with us while I went off and got pregnant with some bloke I met in the pub!
(which isn't true, but if it were, it would be nobody else's bloody business)

fryalot · 23/09/2007 18:41

(welcome, btw tripletem )

edam · 23/09/2007 18:55

MI, aren't your girls curly?

I get 'ooh, doesn't ds look like dh' an awful lot. Yes, indeed, he does. I had noticed. Although obviously ds will be FAR more gorgeous as an adult (not that dh isn't, but clearly my baby will be an absolute stunner).

edam · 23/09/2007 18:56

Actually, thinking about it, people have always commented on my (curly) hair, too. So it's not just children.

WelshBoris · 23/09/2007 19:05

People ask me about DDs curly hair all the time.

"Do you curl it?"

"Yes every night as soon as she gets off the sunbeds, I put it in rollers, wax her legs and eyebrows and I've got her booked in for a boob job for her 16th and a designer vagina for her 21st"

boozle · 23/09/2007 19:08

The question which really used to annoy me (although not strictly one which came after the birth) was "You're pregnant! At your age! Was it planned?"

Grrrrrrrr!!!!

Peachy · 23/09/2007 19:16

Ah, very inappropriate! OTOH I would be so of ytou that I would love to chat to you, so might say something quite inapprpriate (not that though, i'd probably just look and be

Disclaimer: envious before ds1. I DO NOT need this pg to turn out to be triplets with the family I have already. Disclaimed!

Most inappropriate comment I ever ahd is well known on MN buta s youa re a newbie (welcome).... ds1 was born quite small, 5lbs 5oz and lost far too much weight after his birth (If I knew no etc... but as the millenium, no MW / HV or anybody to help).

Anyway, some lady came up to me in the queue in Wilkinsons

@Is he going to ie then'

Er, no

'Because my daughter is a SCBU Nurse and I know about these things...'

OK so if were about to die, then surely you'd realise I wouldn't be walking him in his pram in the middle of winter?

Peachy · 23/09/2007 19:18

(oh and when ds1 was about 14 months and ds2 was a newborn someone asked if they were twins... ds1 was walking, ds2 was so small that he was being monitored for failure to thrive LOL)

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 19:26

hi all managed to get back for a while!! Whilst I was cooking a lovely Sunday roast I began to fester on my own question!!(did manage to stop the war by the way!!) Although the general public are annoying did anyone else experience it from medical staff?Examples: akwardly trying to use breast pump for first time when cleaner comes in, despite a load of tutting and head shaking from me,as she cheerily said'don't worry about me love'!! Doctor picking up one of my prem new borns by the feet and dangling her in the air whilst he looked at her!! one member of staff telling my husband that he couldn't share my room (although he could as I was in for a while and needed help with triplets)as the woman found it frightening seeing a man on the ward!! Sorry, but didn't the woman there have to come in contact with a man before anyway, to be on the ward?!!!

OP posts:

Bink · 23/09/2007 19:31

The only thing I've ever (but always) had is "But why don't you sound Scottish?"

Oh, they do tend to say that they'd thought ds was older than he is. But that's just a human instinct noise I think - commenting on size of children vs age. There was probably a dedicated grunt for that, back then.

Like the grunt for "You have honey - where find?" - which is what lies behind "I really like your handbag."

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 19:35

Peachy,
That is awful

OP posts:

Peachy · 23/09/2007 19:38

Ah, was a long time ago

Also get asked if ds1 ahs ahd a perm LOL (well dh cut his hair all off alst week as was getting amtted) but could you imagine trying to eprm the ahir of a 7 year old autistic boy? PMSL

barefeete · 23/09/2007 19:42

I got pregnant when DS was only 7 months, not planned but now have a gorgeous 6 month old DD and am very happy with my 2 thank you very much. But when i first got pregnant and i started telling people that i was pregnant EVERYONE and i mean FRIGGING EVERYONE! said oh poor you that's a very hard age gap or words to that effect. I started to have to justify the age gap to people and at times felt like i was having to explain why i was pregnant again and that it wasn't planned just that DH fancied me one evening a little more than usual and hey presto preggers!!!!

My Mum STILL annoys me with her comments as whenever there is a problem with one of my children she always say 2well that's the problem with an age gap like yours" as if she did it right and i did it wrong!

God you've got me strted here i am starting to get annoyed again at the thought of it!

anyway welcome tripletem, have a laugh on here.

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 19:50

I had everyone taking bets on my babies even before they were born. My husband is ginger and they all had at least £50 on the fact that at least one of mine should be as well. As soon as I had the babies the first thing everyone asked was not were they healthy, but were they ginger!! Funny how people never pay up when they are wrong!!

OP posts:

Peachy · 23/09/2007 19:53

One tjhing 9and only one) that is bugging me with thsi pg si everyone assuming we're after a girl with 3 boys- have they not coottoned n yet that you get what you're givn? i am truly, truly not bothered- the world and his wife is though, even if they've abrely spoken to us before.

Original poster

TripletEm · 23/09/2007 20:04

I had that too. At first they told me I was having twin boys,then triplet boys then the correct order of two girls one boy. I was over the moon at having any child arrive safely at all, like you. You love your kids for who they are, not the gender. We were told not to have the third baby at all, because she was a lot smaller and they thought that she would be brain damaged, they even booked me in for a reduction in Bristol without telling me. I'm like you, everything for a reason and thought I've been lucky enough to get her so I'm sticking with the plan!! Good job too, she was born fit and well!!

OP posts:

chipmonkey · 23/09/2007 20:53

They booked you in for a reduction without telling you!!!!

chipmonkey · 23/09/2007 20:54

Peachy, what's up with your typing? Very cod-like this evening!

AuntJetPetunia · 23/09/2007 21:07

When I was about 6m pregnant a colleague asked me "was it planned?" and it REALLY threw me! I was 31, married for 2 years... why the hell wouldn't it have been planned? (it was, by the way). And don't get me started on the hair thing... I'm dark and my dd has gorgeous streaky blonde hair. A woman on the till in Sainsbury's asked me "do you highlight her hair?" - she was about a year old at the time! I wish I'd replied "Of course. And she has a tattoo of Postman Pat on her arse as well."

GreebosWhiskers · 23/09/2007 21:27

Peachy - I know exactly what you mean! I had 3 girls & when pg with no4 everyone (family, strangers, the lot) said 'bet you're hoping for a boy'. One old dear in the library even told me she'd pray for me to have a boy I honestly did not care what flavour I got & tbh had always just assumed that for whatever reason I could only have girls so didn't even ask the mw what sex the baby was. When ds was held up & I saw his wee boy bits my jaw literally dropped.

The comments that made me most angry though were when I first took dd2 out in her pram. We lived in a small & very nosy village & people were actually looking in the pram, seeing pink & saying 'another girl - what a shame'. WTF? I had a beautiful healthy baby & they were saying what a shame

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