I've been accused of being a racist

[Excitedannie]

So it happened in a big supermarket earlier. 2 women walked past me with about 6 children - I tutted as none of them moved to the side and were so very close to me - well under one metre. One of the women turned around and said "what's youre problem"? And I explained the social distancing etc and that they should have moved to the side. They started literally screaming at me that I was a racist cow, and their small children joined in and also called me a horrible old cow with grey hair! (I'm not by the way...). Everyone was looking and the children were just shouting"racist" and laughing at me - it was bloody awful to be honest and I felt so scared that I was too worried to leave the shop and wandered around until I knew they'd gone.

I felt so ashamed - and scared. I came home and burst out crying, but now I feel furious. Not sure why I'm posting this but I wanted to tell someone but I'm too ashamed to IRL

[EngTech]

I always though George Orwell’s 1984 was a warning from the past, not a blueprint for the future 😳

[nannybeach]

Ironically, went to large Tesco yesterday, am following the arrows, even going down the isles where I dont want anything, do it properly, distancing, being patient, there are staff patrolling each end to make sure customers are complying, then a young black male, walks down no basket or trolley, picking up stuff, looking, going whereever he wants, almost touching me, no staff around at this moment, I feel I dont dare say anything to him, and he is in the high risk catagory of course.

[overnightangel]

Today’s lesson learnt on mumsnet;

Tutting is worse than calling someone racist

[Lynda07]

Melia100 Wed 10-Jun-20 07:06:15
Children screaming 'you horrible old cow' is excusable?!
..
No, that was wrong too. I wouldn't have allowed my children to talk to anyone like that but it wouldn't have occurred to them to do so. Nevertheless, the op started it by being so rude. I wonder where they live, I've not come across anything like tutting or shouting in public places since I don't know when. Uncontrolled behaviour from pond life all round.

[MsTSwift]

Don’t be daft. Their behaviour was horrible. But if you behave passive aggressively to strangers you may inadvertently do so to people who are not very nice and this happens! To avoid this scenario don’t tut and if you be prepared for getting a mouthful. It is provocative.

[Bluntness100]

Op. You need to try to put Covid into perspective, the odds of you catching it from someone quickly passing close to you in the supermarket are so so tiny as to be thought non existent by scientists.

Their reaction was awful but there was no need for you to tut at them, there really wasn’t.

If you’re that worried about Covid if someone comes close to you in future just move on, you can always go back to the spot later.

[FTMF30]

@overnightangel No, today's lesson is not to be rude to strangers as you bever know what you could get yourself into. Obviously the women behaved badly, but OP started it with the passive aggressiveness. It would be totally different if she asked them to keep their distance, but she didn't. It's not a case of which is worse. The fact is that OP started the conflict by behaving badly in the first place.

[PaddlingPoolAgain]

Lynda07
Nevertheless, the op started it by being so rude.

Nope, they started it by breaking the social code we are currently having to live by. This is, at the very least, rude, at worst a potneial risk to health.
If there was two of them they shouldn't have taken children into the shop anyway.

[LaurieMarlow]

Tensions are running high at the minute OP, I would try to forget about it.

Having said that, tutting is very passive aggressive and people react badly to it. If you have an issue with people’s behaviour, challenge them directly about it.

[overnightangel]

Their reaction was awful but there was no need for you to tut at them, there really wasn’t

QED 🙄😑

[dontdisturbmenow]

Tutting is worse than calling someone racist

Indeed. It's like women being beaten by their partner saying they shouldn't provoked him!

It doesn't matter that OP tutted or gave them a dirty look, they had no excuses of calling her racist when her action had nothing to do with the four of their skin.

It was wrong and nothing excuses it. This is the kind of attitude that DOES lead to prejudice.

[Livelovebehappy]

I wouldn’t even give this head space. They were probably just idiots who just threw out the racist card as they weren’t intelligent enough to enter into any discussion about the obvious reasons for your concerns. You really can’t argue with stupid, so I would have just walked away with a shake of the head and parked the incident to the back of my mind.

[MrsKeanuCharlesReeves]

This is how it's going to be from now on. The divide between us all now is huge.

[DomDoesWotHeWants]

They behaved very badly, OP.

There should have been no reason for you the tut. The parents should have had control over the children.

Their behaviour afterwards showed exactly the type of people they are and how awful their children are going to grow up to be.

I feel sorry for their teachers.

[broccoliduns]

Shocked to see so many people still using the awful term 'playing the race card'

[Melia100]

Victim blaming.

Taking the OP at face value, which is all any of us can ever do, she was verbally abused by two families, including by the children. No excuse for that.

[Rosehip10]

Can’t say if you were being racist or not. Wondering if you made some assumptions or your reaction was influenced by their heritage

This is madness - people can be pissed off with someone in supermarket without it being racist [hmm']

[DoiFrigg]

Thats terrible! So sorry to hear this happened to you

[Chiochan]

I always thought tutting was the more polite way to let someone know they were crossing a boundry (not commenting on if the boundry is appropriate or not) without the severity of confrontation.
If someone tutts it gives the other person the opportunithy to either ignore and carry on or change their behaviour pretending they were going to do that anyway. Announcing to someone they are behaving incorrectly offers none of these optionsiyswim.

As for screaming racism, it was bullying pure and simple, made even more abhorent as it undermines the fight against racism, absolutly awful.
Dont feel too bad though as their choice to try to humuliate you in public would have ment everyone in the supermarket would be thinking all of the above about them and their poor kids.

[FTMF30]

@dontdisturbmenow Except OP wasn't beaten. She came to no physical harm. She was aggressive and rude and she got agression and rudeness back.

[Al1Langdownthecleghole]

Simple advice: Don’t tut. It is extremely rude

This. Don’t sigh. Don’t tut.

I would like to hear the other side of this.

[Melia100]

Abuse minimisers on this thread, I see.

[Chiochan]

The term 'playing the race card' is used by anti racists to try to get politicians to stop whipping up racial division in an attempt to get votes. Its does not happen in the same way now, Immigration is used instead, but back in the day it def was.

[Bonzabaybee]

Am astounded that people are saying it’s your own fault you were called racist because you tutted are someone who was not social distancing.....

It might be annoying when someone tuts but a) everyone should be social distancing, and not doing so is extremely inconsiderate and potentially puts others at risk. It is this person who is at fault.
b) calling someone racist because they tut in the supermarket for that reason is disgusting.

What a horrible thing to experience, hope you’re ok OP.

[Fairyliz]

I was tutted at in the supermarket for inadvertently going the wrong way down an aisle. I felt a bit stupid and embarrassed and quickly moved away. I didn’t feel the need to shout and scream at the person.
So I think they were in the wrong.