I've been accused of being a racist

[Excitedannie]

So it happened in a big supermarket earlier. 2 women walked past me with about 6 children - I tutted as none of them moved to the side and were so very close to me - well under one metre. One of the women turned around and said "what's youre problem"? And I explained the social distancing etc and that they should have moved to the side. They started literally screaming at me that I was a racist cow, and their small children joined in and also called me a horrible old cow with grey hair! (I'm not by the way...). Everyone was looking and the children were just shouting"racist" and laughing at me - it was bloody awful to be honest and I felt so scared that I was too worried to leave the shop and wandered around until I knew they'd gone.

I felt so ashamed - and scared. I came home and burst out crying, but now I feel furious. Not sure why I'm posting this but I wanted to tell someone but I'm too ashamed to IRL

[missyoumuch]

@MsTSwift

Well don’t tutt and sigh at strangers then 🙄

No sympathy. I have been out with dd aged 11 for walks we are careful and abide by social distancing etc and still a certain sort of person tuts and sighs at what I don’t know - the audacity of our existing ?

I am not saying which group of people do this for fear of being bashed for being ageist and sexist but you can draw your own conclusions 🙄

Completely agree with you and I find it hilarious how many people are taking OP at her word that it was a small tut or sigh and then these insane minorities started accusing her of being racist.

I don't believe for a second it happened like that.

And yes I know exactly the type you're talking about and I won't categorise them further either.

[Aridane]

Thanks for the comments. I have felt absolutely shit all evening. I think I will just keep my mouth shut - even asking people politely to move seems to be met with aggression more often than not!*

Except,you weren’t asking politely...

[MsTSwift]

Passive aggressive meets aggressive aggressive was never going to end well!

[Lynda07]

I don't know whether or not you are a racist but hearing you tut would have made my blood boil. They are kid for heaven's sakes, tutting is vile at the best of times but you take the biscuit.

[MsTSwift]

My tolerance for tutting is over now if anyone tuts or huffs at me or my children they will be getting a robust response. It’s horribly rude.

[Lynda07]

missourmuch: I don't believe for a second it happened like that.

Neither do I. However it's possible the op is a tutter, kisses her teeth and a racist to boot. :-).

Stupid woman - do not tut, it is rude in the extreme! I bet you're the sort of person who laughs at the end of sentences when nothing is funny, too. Eh he he.

[MsTSwift]

My mil tuts at us and laughs ruefully at the end of sentences. I usually have a stress headache within an hour of being in her company. Maybe she is the op!

[zscaler]

It doesn’t sound like you were racist, and I’m sorry they thought you were, but you were passive aggressive and rude. Everyone is trying and everyone is struggling at the moment. Tutting isn’t helping anyone under the circumstances.

[Lynda07]

Ms T Swift, I think if it was a relative I'd tell them, gently. I've noticed that if you ask someone what is funny they tend to stop the inane laughter. 'Tutting', however, is universally rude and very small minded.

Eh he he ha ha.

[Msmcc1212]

That sounds like a horrible experience OP. Not nice at all.

PPs have said that tensions are running high for different reasons and I agree. Not many of us can quite fully relax and are at least a little bit ‘on guard’. We will all make mistakes and be more likely to act out of character. You, them, me, PPs.

Forgive yourself for the tutting. It’s totally understandable. Forgive them for the unnecessary tirade (you don’t know how much real racism they may well experience on a day to day basis).

New day today

[MittensTheSerpent]

I doubt this actually happened.

[Magicbabywaves]

Tutting is so fucking rude.

[CarlottaValdez]

Few responses on this thread in the style you wanted now OP. Great job!

[Melia100]

How about strangers don't verbally abuse other strangers, who are annoyed they are failing to safely distance? Cannot believe verbal abuse is the OK thing here, tutting or sighing or whatever is the great crime.

[rwalker]

You've done nothing wrong .
We have a guy at work who shouts racist at any opportunity . He didn't get a promotion and said it was discrimantion . No experience, bad yearly review due to poor quality of work when audited, very inflexilbe and other applicants more relevant experience . All above board and very transparent he didn't even have half of the experience or qualifications that were stated as essential in job advert .

He has a VERY strong accent and talks very fast one off our trainers said pardon a few time and asked him to repeat himself. He reported him for being racist as he didn't ask anyone else to repeat themselves.

Right or wrong most of us give him a wide birth as frightened of false accusations. Which then leads him to complain that his discriminated against because people won't have anything to do with him .

[CarlottaValdez]

There’s another one! What a great opportunity for us to share stories about times black people lied about racism! 🙄

[razey]

Tutting isn't great it's annoying but some of the posters on here come across as so aggressive and vile

[silentpool]

It seems to be the insult du jour.

[AlicjaCross]

Everyone saying tutting is rude, surely it is the ultimate British way of doing things. You don't say out loud 'FFS' but a tut indicates to people you think they've been unreasonable without having to say anything. One noise conveys a lot of words.

Trouble is OP by tutting / sighing you highlighted to this woman that she wasn't in control of her kids and therefore she got defensive and acted unseasonably. Some people do act badly when pulled up on poor behaviour unfortunately.

[FTMF30]

Not sure if you tutted or sighed

Pretty sure you would have tutted pretty loudly for 2 women with six kids between them to hear you in a supermarket. Their behaviour was unacceptable but you instigated it and are now playing victim. Don't be passive agressive and tut at strangers in the future. From experience you now realise you'll never know what crazy response you could get.

[TooTrueToBeGood]

Sounds like a typical case of someone being passive aggressive and then getting their petted lip out when the other party responds with more active aggression. If you go around tutting and giving people dirty looks eventually someone will take you to task over it. Passive aggression is still aggression. If you don't have the balls to see confrontations through then don't start them.

[MsTSwift]

As the rough girls used to say at my comp “don’t dish it out of you can’t take it”

[maddiemookins16mum]

It’s pretty much impossible to stay 2 metres apart from anyone in a supermarket without it becoming a game of musical statues. But they sound pretty awful regardless.

[Melia100]

Children screaming 'you horrible old cow' is excusable?!

I've been tutted at as a young mother. I didn't like it. I probably said something huffy like 'you only had to ask!'. I can't imagine a world in which it would be OK for me to overlook my children yelling 'you horrible old cow' at the tutter.

It is never OK to verbally abuse another person. End of.

[rwalker]

@carlottavaldez

There’s another one! What a great opportunity for us to share stories about times black people lied about racism! 🙄

The guy involved isn't black and nowhere did I say he was black . He's a traveller very thick Irish accent and drop into his own langauge .