...to tell neighbour her obscured glass is completely ineffective?

[HarlinRay]

The neighbour across our back lane has slightly frosted glass in her bathroom window which is about 20 feet away from my office window, but it obscures NOTHING and she wears NOTHING and she spends a lot of time in there doing complicated ablutions - leg up on sink to clean or examine genitals is a favourite pose. Her other curtains are always closed so I think she may be a bit of a nudist at home as she's literally always nude in the bathroom, even if it's just to pop in for a pee. I'm pretty well acquainted with her daytime bathroom schedule - and before you say don't look, I can't help it, unless I work for 8 hours per day with my back to the window which I'm not prepared to do.

Anyway, I'm not disgusted or offended or anything, and if she doesn't care then I don't care - but what if she doesn't know? What if another neighbour does care more than I do and decides to be unpleasant about it, or what if someone decides to take photos? Should I pop by to tell her, or just drop an anonymous note so she has plausible deniability if she wants to continue her exhibitionist lifestyle? Or should I just ignore it?

If I was her I’d sooner know who the note came from than get an anonymous note.

Just ignore.

Just ignore, I couldn't give a damn if you can see me shaving through a frosted window but I'd feel uncomfortable you talking to me about it

Moving house has never been banned @Patsypie, I've known of three and helped with two and that's just in one small market town. Unavoidable changes of circumstances have happened and will continue to happen. Even Priti Patel accepted that sometimes people need to get out and move fast before something appalling happened.

Please tell her

We had, we thought, completely frosted glass in the bathroom when we had new windows put in. It turned out, however, that it was totally frosted from inside out, but from outside in it wasn't at all. No idea why as the same type of window was frosted both ways on the downstairs loo.

It had been fitted for around 4 months when my DD ran home from her friend's house having looked out the window and realised you could see everything through our window.

An anonymous note is less embarrassing in my opinion

It won't be less embarrassing for her - instead of knowing who's seen her, she'll know it could have been any number of people and she'll be more embarrassed not knowing who saw her. She's obviously going to think back about what she's been doing in the bathroom. And she won't know whether the note is from one person or from a group of neighbours who have talked about it. Nor whether it's from a woman or a man.

It's just really shitty to do it anonymously, especially to a new neighbour who's just moved in.

Moving house was perfectly allowable during lockdown provided the legislation was complied with, why are people fixating on that? Judginess or troll -hunting?

OP - put a sign in your window saying “I can see your fanny”! Or maybe just have a quiet word. She may ignore you though. I once had a quiet word with a lady at the swimming pool whose costume went completely see-through when wet, next time I went she was wearing it again!

If you're not comfortable with the idea of her knowing you've been able to see her for some time, then lie.

'Oh, goodness, neighbour - now the light has shifted, I can suddenly see RIGHT INTO YOUR BATHROOM! I was so embarrassed I had to mention it.'

That was it implies it's a sudden thing and you leave ambiguous whether or not you've seen her in the altogether, or just seen into the room.

I had this problem some years ago and I chickened out of telling them. It was very hard not to notice that he never washed his hands (not envy)

She moved in a month ago.

Oh, thank God.

I often worry that MN threads (AIBU to think this woman was rude? AIBU to want to kill my neighbour? AIBU to think my SIL is a dick? AIBU that this is strange behaviour?) might be about me. This one detail reassures me that this thread must be about someone else.

Sadly, too many people don’t realise obscure glass stops being obscure once you put a light on.

Or they realise and don’t care.

I think a lot of people have no idea that while you can't see out of a frosted window, when it's back lit you can see a remarkable amount of detail looking in from a distance.

I remember being in a pub beer garden with a group of mates when people in the house overlooking it decided to have sex in their bathroom... We didn't know where to look

We moved last year. Our neighbours can see into our kitchen and I had NO idea and was forever popping in there with no top on to get a glass of water etc. Anyway, when I first met them they said ‘oh Gunpowder, you know we can see into your kitchen?! We love the new colour you’ve painted the cabinets.’ I took this as a signal to always wear my D.G. in future. It was a sensitive way to mention though. I love my neighbours.

I wouldn't just ignore it. I would pop round and mention it to her. If she knows and doesn't mind, then fine. If she doesn't know, I think she'd probably like to!

She needs to know. How you let her know doesn’t really matter imo. A note could say you didn’t want to embarrass her but you work over the road and wanted her to know about her window. I’d sign your name and that why she knows your a ‘real’ person and that you are female which is less threatening in this situation.

No OP don't bother with the note...just ignore it. If someone else has a problem then they can say it themselves

But it is not about the OP having a problem with it. The concern is that the neighbour might not be aware.

OP, do not send an anonymous note. Imagine not knowing who had seen you doing your morning bathroom routine?

I’d drop in a note but I’d sign it “Susie S. , your neighbour at 4 Privet Drive’ and I’d include my mobile number. As other people have said, that will be a lot less frightening than something anonymous.

If you tell her she might put a blind up and you won't see her anymore. Fantastic description - doing complicated ablutions - leg up on sink to clean or examine genitals is a favourite pose!!

No note, that could be really upsetting for her. Just go over and say hello welcome to the neighbourhood, blah di blah, just wanted to mention you might not realise but ...

If I were your neighbour I would far rather you didn't tell me. Clearly in a minority here but IMO much less awful that it happens without her knowing than that someone actually refers to it. In her place I think I'd feel like moving out if you said anything. My next door neighbour (whom I don't know personally - HMO where tenants change ) has a girlfriend who's quite noisy having sex -open bedroom windows - but I certainly won't be knocking on the door or putting a note through to say so - just pretending it doesn't happen.

SiaPR it’s not you is it!? I’ve experienced similar with a neighbour in the past, you really can see remarkable if slightly blurred detail and way way more than you would ever want to.

If you are under the impression that opaque bathroom glass gives you privacy please for the sake of your neighbours who can’t bleach their brains after they see things they really don’t want to just buy some blinds!

I'm surprised that someone with an overlooked bathroom would have just frosted glass tbh as it doesn't give that much privacy especially at night with the light on. We have blinds as well and our bathroom isn't even overlooked!

Blimey, I always thought frosted glass meant privacy .

A note is a good idea, ok she may know it,s from you, but I expect she rather you told her then not and this is a good way.