To ask you for your REAL lockdown experience?

[DM1209]

Hello all,

Lone parent here, 3 children, 12, 8 and 6.
Full time and full on job in Law which has actually only gotten busier these last 3 months.

Have home schooled and worked throughout and only sent my younger 2 back on the01 June because it was becoming impossible for me to do my job efficiently and effectively and I became very, very shouty, stressed and miserable trying to do it all.
We have not baked
We have no sang songs
We have no made amazing crafts
We have not made lockdown memories (ick!) of any kind - nothing!!

My skin looks like shit, I've lost weight and am exhausted all the bloody time!!!

The house is a tip, not dirty but messy.
Grocery shopping has been time consuming and frankly soul destroying.

On top of that, my useless ex-husband decided during April to tell our children he will never be seeing them again because he can't promise that he can put that time aside and actually show up for his once a month visit.
He last saw them in January and the fallout of that for them has been devastating not least because he has let them down repeatedly since the divorce.

I get it, we are all alive, healthy and well. I have no financial worries.
My children seem happy and tell me all the time how much they love me and I them.
If I sound ungrateful, I'm not.
I'm working all hours (I love what I do) and just trying to scrape through each day but think there is so much more I should be doing to make this time a positive one for us all.

Please tell me your real life lockdown experience and it doesn't have to be miserable like mine :)

I now live alone my husband died a few weeks ago, no one could attend the funeral, he deserved better than that and struggling to come to terms with my new "life", and have found lockdown difficult. I do hope we all find peace and contentment in our lives very soon.I wish everyone well.

We've done a lot of baking and shitty crafting that bores me rigid. Very little painting. A lot of reading and music and Lego. A metric fuck ton of TV and I give not one single fuck. Some days I do quite well and some days it's survival mode.

I’m so sorry, @longtimemarried

Mine has been a bit dull but not difficult really.

I'm a supply teacher so haven't worked and won't until Sept at least which is worrying me but at least it means I'm around to support my children's learning at home. They're still doing their work, btw; their school sets work on dojo and another platform and is marked quickly as well.

My children are getting on fairly well apart from the usual sibling quarrels and play happily together, especially since I've limited their ps4 time to an hour each after they've done their school work.

My husband and I are getting on well as well and I'm enjoying his company. I feel like this time together has brought us closer.

We have done no baking, arts, crafts, family games, film nights or any of that but we don't do that anyway. I hate arty, crafty stuff but we have materials available for when the children choose to do it off their own bat. I don't see activities up for them to do; once their lessons and household chores are done their time is their own until meal and bed times.

I am looking forward to going back to work though, if I have a job at the end of this, because I'm fed up with being skint.

@longtimemarried I'm so sorry for your loss.

Started lockdown in self isolation as had suspected covid but never tested as symptoms started too early. Sent DS to live with his dad when I went back to work for the next six weeks of lockdown (SEN school so pretty much business as usual) and then been too knackered to bother with home school when he came back to me despite best intentions. Been for a couple of walks and bike rides, a few long runs when fatigue allowed it and supermarket shops as infrequently as possible. Truly a miserable time. DS is an only child so has really become introverted and antisocial. He’s Y5 so not due back to school for another 3 months. No idea how it will work if he is part time come September if his dad is back to work in the office - only been possible as he’s been WFH but no school work has been done - had a bizarre conversation this evening where exP ranted at me about DS’ lack of application to bbc bite size and was bewildered when I asked him why he was not using the school resources. He hadn’t even bothered to look and thought a 9yo with an Xbox in his bedroom (at dad’s, not mine!) would get on with work rather than chat to his pals online... truly depressing. Not seen DP since mid March apart from last week when we took our respective kids for a socially distant bbq..

Thank you Sparkling and TwoZero, I am sure there are plenty of people worse off than me,

@spababe have you tried calling Tesco (if there's one near you that delivers) and explaining the situation. My mum (81, diabetic, heart condition) wasn't automatically on their vulnerable list, but she called them and the added her within 24 hours.

Not sleeping well. Check

My skin is crap, my house is a shit tip and my children have gone nocturnal Helĺ yes...

We're almost back to normal now and it feels like it never happened That's encouraging at least!

longtimemarried I hope you get to arrange a service/memorial soon. Trying to compose a sentence but I really have no words.

Fucking miserable as well.

It's not been too bad here, me and dh working from home, ds1 home from Uni and living a nocturnal lifestyle playing Xbox games all night and sleeping all day , other 3 teen dc's trying to work/ study from home. We have a nice outdoor patio area so have had some nice BBQ's and afternoon tea, nice food to try and have something pleasurable to look forward to. Do a long dog walk in the evenings in a secluded are ( dh shielding). Work has not been too busy and I'm enjoying not having to do the crazy commute daily. I think the boredom of the same routine every day is the worst thing and worrying what affect all this is going to have on teen dc'd ( years 12 and 10) and job prospects for older ds's.

Mine has been a total shit show to be honest.

Lone parent, working from home. Working more or less around the clock (6am until about 5 or 5pm, then again usually from 8 until 11). It's absolutely relentless and they want more and more work.

I have paid some very basic lip service to trying to home school but I can rarely spend more than half an hour on this a day and my DD lacks the ability to self-motivate. She's bored and pissed off with me for never being able to focus on her.

No baking
A handful of walks
No craft
Very little time actually spent with my DD. We haven't even watched TV together.

I feel utterly exhausted all the time and overwhelmed with guilt.

And the worst of it is I have started to actively resent and feel envy of people on furlough or who have lost their jobs.

I know I'm being unreasonable and its not their fault.

But I feel profoundly angry that this situation has divided us into "those who have the time and bandwidth take care of their children" and "those who have to leave their children in front of screens all day".

I feel angry and cheated and exhausted and utterly burned out.

@longtimemarried so sorry for your loss 💐

longtimemarried sorry for your loss. That does put it into perspective.

@longtimemarried- so sorry for your loss

Shielding but wfh, 3 teenage kids and a DH who Was furloughed but now working late shifts.

It’s ok, I thought we’d have killed each other by now but kids seem to have settled into some sort of homeschool routine. I feel guilt as actually I’m trusting them to do most of their work and am checking nothing. DS1 waiting in exam results from no exams so a bit unsettled.

My biggest issue is that we were all cocooned for a while so it was easy for me to stay safe, I now have to shield in the house from DH and as the kids are starting to see friends, shield from them too. My anxiety is climbing and I think I’m rubbing off on them

It's been an absolutely miserable time and I'll be lucky to get out of this without losing my mind.

It's all caused by my neighbour. I'm fed up of it and could quite happily murder her tbh.
Right now I'm basically hiding in my bedroom with my baby because it's the quietest room away from her noise, yet my walls are still vibrating from the shitty dance 'music'. Slamming and banging doors so hard it can move my bed with two people in (so over 20st). Dogs barking and howling constantly, kids screaming, people constantly coming and going throughout lockdown, it's just a fucking nightmare.

Im on maternity leave and was already dreading the 6wk holidays as it would ruin my time off. Now my entire maternity leave has been in lockdown and listening to the neighbours. She's not approachable and can be violent so I just keep out of her way.
My DP works long hours and lots of night shifts and when he's not here it's a lot worse. My anxiety is through the roof and I know it's rubbing off on my baby.

Other than that, my house is a mess and I probably look a mess too.
We've lost thousands from not being able to sell my DP's house because of lockdown and it's descending into a shitshow with the buyers - we can afford one more mortgage payment on both houses and then we're up shit creek without a paddle.

I feel like I've done nothing with the baby and will feel responsible if she falls behind in any way. We've only been on one walk as I don't want to take her out while my DP is working and it feels like we've done nothing constructive.

Miserable here too! And strangely reading I am not the only one has made me feel better. Not that I am happy everyone is miserable but I don’t feel alone.
Husband works offshore and has been expected to work more offshore to compensate for those shielding or who are at risk.
Working from home with 4 and 1 year old who both want my undivided attention all day long. Can’t seem to switch off from work and feel that I am expected to be on call all hours and days of the week. Like working from home means there are no boundaries anymore. I do love my job though. I am so sick of constantly cleaning and tidying and cooking for everyone I want to scream.
All my family live in Australia and they were meant to come and see my youngest for the first time but all is cancelled.
Feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown from the never ending list of things to do and then I feel guilty for being a stressed angry mum all the time. Though It could be worse and I am thankful we are all healthy.

Also have a 1 and 4 year old. My workload has massively increased - am a lawyer - as a result of the pandemic. So has my husband’s. He’s at home but we spend 7am -11/12pm juggling work and childcare and having little time for anything else. My 1 yr old now quotes tv shows because she gets so much screen time. I have very little energy or patience. I’ve shouted at my four year old and made him cry several times. I cry some mornings because it’s all too much. I really want this to be over.

At the start plunged into working from home. Very very busy. Annoyed at friends floating about homeschooling / baking / etc. Homeschool for DS1 has been a challenge. There have been tears. I've given up with DS2 he has SN and it was harder. He's happy pottering about.

I'm wfh until September. Not sure how to handle the summer. Might take a day off per week for either a full day or two half days.

Overall though I've been pretty content.

It's been alright. We have coped. Parts have been very tough, parts pleasant. Huge respect to those of you holding it together in such incredibly difficult circumstances.

Why would anyone want to make a memory--salt dough model, time capsule etc - of this shitty time?

2020 will be a year that I want to forget forever.

Are out to Spain early March, intending to return to UK in early April.

Still here.

*Came out

I get it, we are all alive, healthy and well. I have no financial worries

Also single parent parent of three. The above has been my focus. Try not to worry about the rest of it. Kids are fed and safe. It sure there’s much more to be done!