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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm a size 16 and I think I'm pretty hot

432 replies

MermaidApocalypse · 09/06/2020 08:39

Just to even out the fat shaming on another thread. I'm a size 14-16. I can still fit in jeans I wore in sixth form college, I've always been this way. I have stayed a similar size through physical jobs, sedentary jobs, two pregnancies, breastfeeding, having a personal trainer, driving and sitting at a desk all day. I think that for some of us this is our healthy size.
Despite this I have to acknowledge the science, excess calories minus insufficient exercise does cause weight gain. Saying that my GP isn't worried as I've not gained weight in a short space of time, I've stayed the same for 16 years. I did once get down to a 12 but I had to try so hard, 18 hour fasts, exercise four days a week. I know women who stay at a 12 doing sweet F.A!

The things that I hate hearing are that people who are a size 14 to 18 are unhealthy. My previous job was being the manager of a health food shop. I lifted boxes of dried pulses, nuts, oats all day every day. Twice a week the delivery van used to park two streets down and we would have to carry 40+ boxes back to the shop and up the stairs to the storeroom. Do you know how many skinny people couldn't do that, even once? I can lift 25kg without much effort, if the tits didn't get in the way, I'd make a good weightlifter!

OP posts:
MermaidApocalypse · 09/06/2020 16:10

@amijustparanoidorjuststoned trying not to!
I've seen my bf subject to some absolutely horrendous thin shaming. It's ten times worse than anything I've ever had to go through. Unfortunately it's all been from women.

OP posts:
CrazyToast · 09/06/2020 16:10

14-16 isn't particularly big. What am I missing?

G5000 · 09/06/2020 16:13

Still waiting for someone to tell me how I'm unhealthy.

Do you think your health would be better or worse if you were in the recommended BMI range? Are now more at risk of various weight-related problems than if you were slimmer, or do you think that's all bollocks?

I mean for example, I can run at decent speed. Compared to an average woman, I'm fast. But according to some studies, losing 10% of body weight would mean 5% improvement in my speed, so I could be even faster if I was slimmer.

EmperorCovidula · 09/06/2020 16:19

I hate to break it to you but if you can’t lift 25kg and your under 75 you have a huge problem.

Teddy1970 · 09/06/2020 16:34

I'm 5ft 10 size 16 and I hate it, I've been using the latter part of this lockdown to shift some pounds, I also have elevated blood pressure so my body isn't happy lugging the extra weight around, I'm currently 14st 3lbs aiming to lose at least 2 stone. I don't buy that bigger girls are better in bed, what a load of tosh, if the said person was good in bed at size 20 would she suddenly become crap in bed if she dropped to a size 10? No, because it's utter nonsense, you're either good in bed or not.

MissRiss · 09/06/2020 16:36

Good on you girl Star

Sugartitss · 09/06/2020 16:43

I have a few curves and I love them. My boyfriend absolutely loves a curvy girl and thinks all women need a bit of meat on their bones.

EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 09/06/2020 16:44

Well I don't think I was ever fat shamed when I was size 18 -20 as much as I was thin shamed when I got down to a 10-12! Mostly by so called friends though

motherheroic · 09/06/2020 16:53

The saviours in this thread 'concerned' about a stranger they are not even going to remember by next week.

Sandybval · 09/06/2020 16:56

and thinks all women need a bit of meat on their bones

Can you imagine the rage if someone posted that their partner thought everyone should be slim and toned? Everyone has a preference and that's great, but saying everyone should have meat is offensive to some people who are slim, yet that's fine but he would be shallow and horrible if the opposite was the case.

NoWordForFluffy · 09/06/2020 16:57

@Sugartitss

I have a few curves and I love them. My boyfriend absolutely loves a curvy girl and thinks all women need a bit of meat on their bones.
Your boyfriend is a real catch. Hmm
Fishfingersandwichplease · 09/06/2020 17:01

I am def overweight but can knock out a 5km run in half an hour. I eat healthily, exercise regularly, rarely drink and don't smoke. Def know skinnier people who aren't even half as fit as me. Cholesterol levels all good too so consider myself healthy.

GoatCheeseTart · 09/06/2020 17:30

You are right that I will probably not remember this thread. But I am concerned about increasing levels of obesity. There are already so many overweigh and obese children in my DCs' school (primary). And having overweight friends increases your own changes of becoming overweight by close to 60%. I would prefer if being obese was not normal for them.

ShowOfHands · 09/06/2020 17:38

I guess healthy is just a relative term. If you are content with your weight and happy with the level of risk it introduces, then that's great. Same as anything. Eating processed food or drinking alcohol or whatever choices we all make on a daily basis. They're not all the healthiest of choices but healthy is a broad church and we all have different thresholds.

The 5km run thing is interesting. My 5k time is 22 minutes (40 with 2 Dc), one SIL can do it in 28 minutes (27 no DC) and my other SIL can't run 5k (30, 1 DC). Who is "healthiest"?

razey · 09/06/2020 17:42

@ali2020
What a perfect answer

waterlego · 09/06/2020 17:46

It takes me about 32 mins to run 5k, but I’m a pretty fast sprinter. I have quite big muscles, especially in the legs and I’ve noticed people who are fast over longer distances tend to have smaller legs- more willowy, if that makes sense.

But all this discussion is irrelevant because Sugartiss’s boyfriend has spoken so now we all know where we stand.

shinyredbus · 09/06/2020 17:46

‘All women should have some meat on their bones’ .... what a downright idiotic thing to say.

ShowOfHands · 09/06/2020 18:00

Waterlego, my SIL played rugby for the country and her 5k is really quite slow. She's fricking strong though and extremely fit. She has 3 brothers and can beat all of them in an arm wrestle. She's formidable.

But yes, a man has spoken about bones and meat so we're all beautifully dehumanised and know where we stand. Thank frick for that.

Sweetlikecoca · 09/06/2020 18:04

@ShowOfHands

I guess healthy is just a relative term. If you are content with your weight and happy with the level of risk it introduces, then that's great. Same as anything. Eating processed food or drinking alcohol or whatever choices we all make on a daily basis. They're not all the healthiest of choices but healthy is a broad church and we all have different thresholds.

The 5km run thing is interesting. My 5k time is 22 minutes (40 with 2 Dc), one SIL can do it in 28 minutes (27 no DC) and my other SIL can't run 5k (30, 1 DC). Who is "healthiest"?

That’s not the definition of health though is it being able to run. Lots of people have heart attacks no matter what size they are and it’s not always down to diet. So I do understand what your trying to say. But if you are short and your going into 16/18 your over weight. If your happy as that it’s absolutely your choice but there’s no point being delusional.
WorraLiberty · 09/06/2020 18:07

@shinyredbus

‘All women should have some meat on their bones’ .... what a downright idiotic thing to say.
Indeed. As is "I have a few curves and I love them."

All human beings have curves so the word means nothing when discussing weight.

waterlego · 09/06/2020 18:13

ShowofHands That makes sense. I teach fitness classes, love lifting weights and I’m pretty strong and fit. Just shit at distance running 😆

waterlego · 09/06/2020 18:14

...and your SIL sounds ace!

MermaidApocalypse · 09/06/2020 18:18

@Sweetlikecoca I'll be delusional and you keep writing 'your' when you mean 'you're'

OP posts:
MilerVino · 09/06/2020 18:23

I have a few curves and I love them. My boyfriend absolutely loves a curvy girl and thinks all women need a bit of meat on their bones.

Hmm. Not sure if this is ignorance or goading. As discussed, the boyfriend's views are irrelevant to anyone other than the two of you.

As for having curves, what does this even mean? If you look at someone like Nina Dobrev, she has the most incredibly curvaceous body, yet she's also very slender. The use of 'curvy' as a euphemism for 'overweight' is one of my bugbears. The two are not the same thing.

Sweetlikecoca · 09/06/2020 18:29

[quote MermaidApocalypse]@Sweetlikecoca I'll be delusional and you keep writing 'your' when you mean 'you're' [/quote]
Sorry yes you are right Grin

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