I'm a size 16 and I think I'm pretty hot

[MermaidApocalypse]

Just to even out the fat shaming on another thread. I'm a size 14-16. I can still fit in jeans I wore in sixth form college, I've always been this way. I have stayed a similar size through physical jobs, sedentary jobs, two pregnancies, breastfeeding, having a personal trainer, driving and sitting at a desk all day. I think that for some of us this is our healthy size.
Despite this I have to acknowledge the science, excess calories minus insufficient exercise does cause weight gain. Saying that my GP isn't worried as I've not gained weight in a short space of time, I've stayed the same for 16 years. I did once get down to a 12 but I had to try so hard, 18 hour fasts, exercise four days a week. I know women who stay at a 12 doing sweet F.A!

The things that I hate hearing are that people who are a size 14 to 18 are unhealthy. My previous job was being the manager of a health food shop. I lifted boxes of dried pulses, nuts, oats all day every day. Twice a week the delivery van used to park two streets down and we would have to carry 40+ boxes back to the shop and up the stairs to the storeroom. Do you know how many skinny people couldn't do that, even once? I can lift 25kg without much effort, if the tits didn't get in the way, I'd make a good weightlifter!

don't know why people pretend that "fat shaming" is the same as "thin shaming". It isn't. Being thin is seen as acceptable, desirable, necessary, required

Probably pretty teedious to have friends, and indeed strangers feel that they have the right to comment about your body. Just as it is for someone who is overweight. Being told to eat a sandwich, wow you're skin and bones, I prefer a womanly figure isn't okay just because society deems it a preference in some respects. Let's not minimise people who get either fat or get thin shamed, it's horrible for both.

I have concern for the health of an extremely underweight relative, am I wrong to feel as I do about their health and future?

Nope. But that's okay apparently, and is the same reason that EDs which result in being underweight which pose more of an immediate threat to someone's health are treated more than those with binge eating disorder etc. Because being overweight is likely to not have direct effects for a few decades, and it's hard to have discussions regarding weight without being accused of shaming etc, even doctors struggle with the balance between advising someone to lose weight and upsetting them, therefore it's sort of swept under the rug and support is minimal.

Thin shaming is absolutely a thing.

I was 19 in my first job and very slim. I was a long distance runner and consumed a lot of calories.

That didn't stop my colleagues who were average/bigger than average picking apart my lunch and snacks all day, every single fucking day. It really got to me. I stopped eating at work in the end because I just couldn't be arsed.

Why are you eating like a rabbit? Well I would eat like that too if I was still a teenager living off mum and dad with plenty of time to cook (I wasn't, that was their assumption). Careful you might fall down that gap (during flooring renovations). Gosh I didn't see you there stood sideways. Why don't you just eat a burger?? I wish I could save some money buying kids clothes.

It got awful in the end and ruined my self esteem.

Can you imagine the uproar if I'd have said any of those things referencing my larger colleagues size?

To add u wouldn't have because I'm not an arse and wouldn't judge anyone by their appearance.

But it's hurtful and upsetting to be on the receiving end of commenting both ways.

I* wouldn't!

@ahhaohho I think you know yourself though that more than likely came from a place of jealousy... after years and years of it being ingrained that skinny = good, fat = bad, your colleagues were more than likely jealous and lashed out.

Was it right? Absolutely not, it's awful to treat anyone the way you were treated - but it's as a result of years of being told that if you're fat you're undesirable.

Being 'hot' and 'good in bed' are no measures of health though. Regardless of size it is your health you should be concerned about. Whether or not you are a good shag isn't really relevant, unless that is all you are about.

It doesn't matter if it's jealousy, it's still unacceptable.

Nobody is saying being a good shag and being healthy are synonymous - but it's absolutely possible to be healthy at a bigger size. There are countless people on Instagram proving that, as well as medical professionals advocating for health at every size.

@Sandybval I did say that. I said it was unacceptable, but you can't just ignore the fact that's where it came from and it's as a direct result of a fat-shaming society.

Nobody is saying being a good shag and being healthy are synonymous -

'I'm a size 16 and I think I'm pretty hot'

'I'm a bit chubby but amazing in bed'

'Also brilliant in bed'

That's just the first few.

I can see someone being skinny and unhealthy(smoking drinking etc), but a size16/18 healthy? Not possible, unless very young then its only a matter of time.
Cracks me up how on this threads most overweight posters eat healthy and exercise a lot . Wouldnt be overweight if that was the case.

I was with you mostly until Twice a week the delivery van used to park two streets down and we would have to carry 40+ boxes back to the shop and up the stairs to the storeroom. Do you know how many skinny people couldn't do that, even once?

Being “skinny” doesn’t mean you’re physically weaker. Anecdotally, I used to be a size 8 while working in the loading bay and stock room of a department store and heaved heavy stuff round all day every day with not much bother. Over a decade later I’m significantly heavier in weight, definitely not a size 8 or even close and not as physically strong 🤷‍♀️

By all means be proud of who you are and your body type but there’s no need to imply stuff about others not being good enough in some way imo.

@carexfairex

Being 'hot' and 'good in bed' are no measures of health though. Regardless of size it is your health you should be concerned about. Whether or not you are a good shag isn't really relevant, unless that is all you are about.

I agree with you. I’m sure OP and others know that. It’s not some sort of colouring competition I mean it’s ridiculous.

You can be fat and pretty that’s not the point at all though. There’s no point in being one sided.

@carexfairex

Yes, but none of those sentences finished with "and that makes me healthy."

Thin shaming is absolutely a thing Yes but it is not the same as fat shaming, I've had a few many thin comments, all come from a place of envy or jest. I've had mean comments too they wouldn't keep me awake or lower my self esteem.
No one is envious of a person who they insult as fat when they mention it.
Another person's weight is not my business unless I loved them and they were in danger, otherwise I'd say nothing.

One size does not fit all. I could be a 14 on top 16 in jeans. Im close to 6 foot. Depends on shop sizings too..

Why don't you just eat a burger??

I had someone practically scream this at me from a moving car when I was out jogging in a cropped top once 🙄

@CelestialSpanking the OP wasn't saying all skinny people couldn't do that. She was using a direct example in her situation to show that she, as a bigger person, was able to do more physically and had better stamina than others she worked with that would be assumed to be healthier.

Your example is just that, an example. It's not really got any relevance to the OP's post.

@PipGirl404

Yes, but none of those sentences finished with "and that makes me healthy."

This was exactly my point. They were saying well I'm that size and it's fine because I am a good shag. Without a second thought to their health, because being 'hot' or a good shag is all they feel they are worth.

@carexfairex

Yes, you could be right. In my experience though (and it's just that, personal, so not right or wrong) I tend to focus on how I feel on the outside I.e being pretty, feeling confident etc because I'm content with the fact I'm healthy so don't feel the need to mention it.

Complete oxymoron and so many people are in complete denial. If you ate the right things and avoided the wrong foods, plus exercised the vast majority of people wouldn’t be a size 16/18 (excluding the minority who have specific health issues)
Sure some people put in weight easier than others and some slim people can eat what they want without putting on weight (doesn’t mean they are healthy!) but the fact remains, what you eat is what you are! Learned that when I was 12 at school in home Ed!
Just because you can run 10K and lift heavy boxes, That doesn’t mean you eat healthily? You could have extremely high blood sugar levels, huge issues with insulin resistance, high blood pressure, clogged arteries etc.
Many people are seriously deluded about what’s healthy to eat and what is a healthy size / weight!
Take a look at old school photos from secondary school year books etc from the 1970’s. The one or two larger teens. Now it seems almost the other way round!? The denial has been slowly creeping for decades and it continues to worsen

Yanbu

Am I the only one wondering why a shop that has regular twice weekly deliveries of 40+ heavy boxes, never got a trolley to stick them on?

Forget strength for a minute, it's ridiculously time consuming

Way to miss the point I was making

I don't know why people pretend that "fat shaming" is the same as "thin shaming". It isn't. Being thin is seen as acceptable, desirable, necessary, required. Being fat is seen as lazy, disgusting, unattractive. It just isn't comparable. As much as people try to make it a thing.

They aren't the same since as you say, being slim is generally seen as positive whilst being overweight is seen as negative. However, they both stem from judging women by their appearance and prioritising appearance over abilities. It's the fact that both are judgemental that makes them problematic.

Also, don't kid yourself that because being slim is lauded in the media, that slim women aren't on the receiving end of bitchiness. It takes very little for the likes of the Express and the Daily Mail to round on someone for being too thin - and again this stems from judging women for their appearance rather than their achievements and abilities. And I can sense animosity towards me because I'm slim. I've had the insults and the digs. We shouldn't be doing this, not on either side.

So please drop all the veiled hints that 'skinny' people are weaker, less attractive and starve themselves to get where they are. It just plays into the narrative that women's appearance should be valued above all else.