Regular poster but name changed ! (Expecting some criticism.. hear me out!)
DH has a very wealthy family and lives in a large house in Surrey. (They also own other properties across the world) The family business was sold approx 15 years ago and made a massive profit (think millions), his parents made many sacrifices to ensure this business ran well when DH was younger and I honestly believe they deserve all the money they have due to the sheer hard work and long hours that were put into running the business at the time.
DH has said that he has never really been given any money by his parents and he thinks that they want him to make his own way in life (understandable) this in a way has been advantageous in the fact that my partner strives to do well on his own merit - hes worked hard and now has a professional job in an engineering role. (I am a teacher). Over the years we have made many sacrifices to enable DP to study and for us to be able to put money together for a deposit for a small 2 bed apartment that we currently live in a cheaper area of the city. We buy our clothes from local charities, ebay, sell clothes and goods on ebay, we haven't been on holiday for 5 years (except the odd UK break here or there), meal prep, never eat out etc. We share a car which is 10 years old and needs upgrading in the nearby future. I imagine there are many people who do similar things to save money and we are not unique in that respect. We have also held out on getting married and having children because we wanted to prioritize getting on the housing ladder and being secure for the future.There has been one occasion when we were in our early 20s where we couldn't afford the rent (before buying) and DH asked his parents whether he could borrow money and it would be returned when he got his next pay packet - his dad agreed but it was never actually paid in to his account, we were never sure why but didn't want to press the issue and after all it is their money so didn't ask again.
SIL and her partner are a few years younger than us and had 2 planned DC shortly after graduating from university, SIL has never worked (although has a good degree to give credit to her) and are fortunate to be able to live in a lovely housing association house within about 30 mins from where we live. SIL partner works in a supermarket and has no desire to progress in his career. (which is fair enough, people have different priorities in life) - however they live a lifestyle that we can't afford due to handouts from DH parents - their house is furnished with brand new, expensive furniture, equipment, multiple game consoles, designer clothes for DC , they have 2 cars, despite only using 1 etc. We were recently told that his parents paid off their outstanding (£6.5k) credit card bill yet they still continue to parade on social media all their new purchases that they have made over the last few weeks - (e.g SIL posted a new red chanel lipstick she had bought online & she posts every friday their pizzas from dominos) They receive monthly payments from DH's parents to help with their DC and SIL has no intention of returning back to work. SIL husband says he is having difficulty obtaining more hours at work - which is understandable it really is but we find it so frustrating that we have to cut back and make so many sacrifices every day and despite their (in my opinion) poor financial decisions they seem to be rewarded and constantly given handouts and DH's parents are full of sympathy about how they are struggling and how life isn't as easy for them. We don't have that much money either and are skimping and saving to upgrade our car in addition to trying to put some money together for the future - except we don't just spend it all on a CC and then bill his parents, to me this is morally wrong.
DH, (although technically none of his business) has said to his parents that if they weren't given so many handouts maybe it would give them the drive to work hard and make sacrifices that we have had to make to be self sufficient - if they were struggling after making the sacrifices then of course I would never begrudge them from obtaining help from parents that naturally want to help their children.
I know AIBU to have a moan and I guess it isn't our business how much money DH parents give siblings but AIBU to feel that DC should be treated equally and the sibling who works hard and has made sacrifices in life should not be treated differently?
Has anyone else experienced anything similar? AIBU that we both get annoyed?