To lose friends over BLM/political views

[SunshineSusan14]

I think I am quite a broad minded person and am happy to accept other people's views even if I don't agree with them but I've been very moved and educated by the BLM. Recently in a group chat of 5 friends they all started harping on about it with lots of passively racist comments - lots of "I'm not racist but..." and some truly vile and uneducated views. I put my point across and it all turned into a bit of a pile on.

I stood my ground as I feel strongly about it but was polite but now I just think do I really want friends who firstly have such terrible views and secondly can't be respectful about other people's points of view? I highly suspect they went on to slag me off in a private chat.

Meant to be meeting for a socially distanced drink later in the week but now I really don't feel like it. My mental health is already suffering right now I know it will be brought up. But if I don't go after not seeing them for so long it will probably send a message that I'm not bothered. Aibu? Have others experienced this?

Is it a shame that the BLM seems to be driving a wedge and creating animosity between people rather than bring people peacefully together, were will this all end up, race wars?

I think there is a difference between if they are "white supremacy" and unable to see white privilege. If you are struggling it can be hard to be told you have privilege as you don't feel privilege.
I'm not sure I would loose friends over white privilege but probably would over white supremacy.
I would keep the drinks date and if it comes up it can be easier/more effective to get your point across face to face rather than in writing.

Race is an issue. In your work place (assuming you work) how many black staff are they or Asian?? We are out numbered and there’s not a doubt about that.

I'm not sure what you are getting at? My workplace has a higher % of black staff compared to my region, and average or maybe slightly lower % of Asian staff, who are a small community here.

But what does that have to do with what I said?

@Hester54

Is it a shame that the BLM seems to be driving a wedge and creating animosity between people rather than bring people peacefully together, were will this all end up, race wars?

I don’t think it’s driving a wedge. I think because there was a few incidents people are choosing to focus on this solely.

It has raised awareness and highlighted some people’s ignorance.

I over heard a work colleague speaking about BLM she said she didn’t understand and it’s in American. There’s some people that need to broaden their knowledge of UK racism and I’m sure after these protests some people will do their own research and learn

@Goosefoot

Race is an issue. In your work place (assuming you work) how many black staff are they or Asian?? We are out numbered and there’s not a doubt about that.

I'm not sure what you are getting at? My workplace has a higher % of black staff compared to my region, and average or maybe slightly lower % of Asian staff, who are a small community here.

But what does that have to do with what I said?

Everything. Black people are usually a minority in work places, TV shows, media, magazines and children’s toys such as dolls.

Have you noticed how you can buy a white doll anywhere but try and find a black doll there’s considerably less

@sweetlikecocoa but the workplace will be less in most areas as black and Asian populations are still the minority race in uk , there is more white people so will be more white people in jobs , tv programmes there are less shows but again there is less black actors , ( bring back Desmonds my favourite )toys like dolls should be more widely availible as just because someone is white doesn't mean they will want a white toy although this is changing , not sure what other toys would be considered white or black though ?

I'm actually considering removing a friend who keeps posting blm things all over there Facebook , not because I'm against blm as such but because I know this person is doing it for Facebook likes and doesn't actually care or even understand what it's all about , and I have heard them talk negatively about other races . I would like to think they have maybe changed views but I know ,it's still for Facebook likes only and they wouldn't do anything to actively help or intervene if an issue but it looks good to others

YANBU, OP.

No-one needs racist friends imo. Well, maybe racists do.

Everything. Black people are usually a minority in work places, TV shows, media, magazines and children’s toys such as dolls.

Have you noticed how you can buy a white doll anywhere but try and find a black doll there’s considerably less

Yes, that is because there are fewer black people in the country, they represent about 3% of the population. That isn't itself a result of racism, any more than most people in Botswana being black is racism.

But it's still nothing to do with what I said.

I don’t like to live on an echo-chamber, assume I’m right and storm off when others disagree with me. I also don’t presume anyone who doesn’t support the protests on racist. So yes I do think you’re unreasonable and spin like a very self-righteous intolerant individual. That’s said, you really don’t need anyone’s opinion on your personal friendships and you’ve probably done that groupna favour for leaving if all you’re going to do is judge them all to be bad people if they don’t have the same views as you.

@Goosefoot

Everything. Black people are usually a minority in work places, TV shows, media, magazines and children’s toys such as dolls.

Have you noticed how you can buy a white doll anywhere but try and find a black doll there’s considerably less

Yes, that is because there are fewer black people in the country, they represent about 3% of the population. That isn't itself a result of racism, any more than most people in Botswana being black is racism.

But it's still nothing to do with what I said.

You cannot educate an ignorant person. Clearly you choose to see things through your own eyes only. There’s many ethnic people around who are declined a job interviews because of their skin colour even though their skills may be better than a non ethnic person.

Comparing UK to Botswana we will leave it there.

@Raella50

I don’t like to live on an echo-chamber, assume I’m right and storm off when others disagree with me. I also don’t presume anyone who doesn’t support the protests on racist. So yes I do think you’re unreasonable and spin like a very self-righteous intolerant individual. That’s said, you really don’t need anyone’s opinion on your personal friendships and you’ve probably done that groupna favour for leaving if all you’re going to do is judge them all to be bad people if they don’t have the same views as you.

It’s not about having the same views.

However address the real issue I can understand some may not like how the protest has turned out. But before this what was your opinion on Racism in the UK??

Oh don’t tell me you are not affected so you couldn’t give a hoot!!

I feel similarly conflicted, OP. But on balance I think it's better to know where others are coming from and try to change views by debate or example. It won't always be possible, but it's important to keep working at softening those hardened views

I thought that's why people avoid talking politics or religion. I guess that's not really social etiquette anymore.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking I also believe Human Rights and equality is crucial. I don’t support the protests because of the current pandemic though. That’s my opinion and I accept others have theirs. I have friends with varying opinions on the riots and don’t judge them to be bad people because of that.

@Sweetlikecoca

Why assume that?? You are judging again. Very intolerant of anyone that doesn’t share your exact standpoint. As far as racism goes, I definitely want to see more done to combat it but don’t agree with the protests.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking My opinion is my own and the riots are clear for all to see. It’s a shame you can’t open your mind to any opinion other than your own but that’s your problem. I can respectfully disagree with people (you in this case).

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking There were riots here in my city. You are being closed-minded unfortunately but I wouldn’t judge you for your views, I just disagree with you.

@Smilethoyourheartisbreaking Do you know what, I’ll take back my word “riot” because I think that’s caused an issue, even though that’s the word I would use to describe what I saw I can understand that you could also describe them as protests with violence too.

I’m guessing the friends are people you haven’t known long? Because I absolutely don’t believe you can be friends with someone for a long time and not know their views on the big stuff. So if they’re acquaintances more than proper friendships, then it shouldn’t feel too much of an effort be to break away from them.

OP you've gone from black and white TV to coloured television. There is no going back. Stick to your morals, you'll feel better for it.