Motivation during lockdown

[UnaCorda]

I've been mainly at home on my own for the past three months and am really struggling with motivation. Everything seems pointless when a) I'm not seeing anyone and b) there's nothing to look forward to.

I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything either useful or interesting, apart from watching Netflix and reading Mumsnet. My flat is just on the right side of being a health hazard, but it's a bit of a tip. Part of me doesn't care, and part of me feels guilty for not spring-cleaning like everyone else seems to be doing.

I'm going to bed too late, eating too much crap, not doing enough exercise. I can't decide if I'm depressed - if not, I'm certainly not feeling particularly upbeat or optimistic and can't imagine things improving even when the covid situation does.

Any words of advice much appreciated...

Anyone?

Exercise. Leave the house every day even if you have no reason to. Set your alarm, get into a routine. (It's do as I say don't do as I do, obviously )

Make yourself a timetable that includes exercise, housework, fun stuff and free time. Eat your meals at the same time every day too. I've found structure is really important to stop my brain feeling totally empty and useless which makes me feel absolutely unmotivated.

It sounds like you (like me) are motivated by things external to yourself. I can get more cleaning done in an hour before I am expecting a visitor than in a week without one (pre lockdown visitor obs)

I could never be self employed as I would procrastinate and be doing my work through the night as i hadn't started it all day.

I think the hardest part of lockdown will be behind us now and things will start to improve.

Do you usually work? Do you need to jobhunt? Can you make something to look forward to like meeting a friend outside? Don't stress about cleaning. Do it or don't do it - it's only cleaning, it will wait.

Weirdly I’ve found quite a lot of motivation to do certain jobs - gardening, cleaning, organising. But I can’t concentrate and read. Normally I love reading but at the moment I just can’t get into anything without my mind wandering. I also can’t watch any tv/film that isn’t easy to follow - only trash really. It’s like my brain isn’t fully turned on.

I think first of all be kind to yourself. We are in a strange time and things are not normal, and it’s ok not to be this super productive machine smashing all of your goals and learning 8 new languages.

I would start by making a list of all the things you need to do. A physical list, write it out. Sometimes it helps to see everything laid out clearly and helps organise your thoughts. Then try and do one thing a day on your list. Even if it’s really simple like putting a load of washing on. After you manage that for a few days - try doing 2 list items a day. Maybe a week or so after that, try 3 etc and so on. Tick things off as you do then and add more if you think of them.

If you find yourself in the zone and motivated, and can do more than your allocated number of things - great! But don’t think you need to do it all at once.

Also another thing that can be helpful is rewarding yourself or promising yourself a treat after doing something. So after I’ve finished this ironing I can watch an episode of something on Netflix, or after I dust the lounge I can fuck about on my phone etc.

Best of luck! Baby steps!

If you can, turn off the auto play (or whatever it is that automatically plays next episode) on Netflix and iPlayer and see if you can limit to one discrete programme at a time.

Any hobbies? Do you work?

@Sparklesocks that's so odd about reading, I'm exactly the same. I have a number of magazines to get through and two books on my coffee table but not much desire to read them which is really, really unlike me.

@CoRhona apparently it’s quite a common thing at the moment! Bit yes weird. I was hoping I’d make a big dent in all the unread books I have but no joy!

Yes its really hard. I have a wfh structure and try to walk every day. Motivation for cleaning is lacking try and do one job a day at least.

@Sparklesocks

Weirdly I’ve found quite a lot of motivation to do certain jobs - gardening, cleaning, organising. But I can’t concentrate and read. Normally I love reading but at the moment I just can’t get into anything without my mind wandering. I also can’t watch any tv/film that isn’t easy to follow - only trash really. It’s like my brain isn’t fully turned on.

I think first of all be kind to yourself. We are in a strange time and things are not normal, and it’s ok not to be this super productive machine smashing all of your goals and learning 8 new languages.

I would start by making a list of all the things you need to do. A physical list, write it out. Sometimes it helps to see everything laid out clearly and helps organise your thoughts. Then try and do one thing a day on your list. Even if it’s really simple like putting a load of washing on. After you manage that for a few days - try doing 2 list items a day. Maybe a week or so after that, try 3 etc and so on. Tick things off as you do then and add more if you think of them.

If you find yourself in the zone and motivated, and can do more than your allocated number of things - great! But don’t think you need to do it all at once.

Also another thing that can be helpful is rewarding yourself or promising yourself a treat after doing something. So after I’ve finished this ironing I can watch an episode of something on Netflix, or after I dust the lounge I can fuck about on my phone etc.

Best of luck! Baby steps!

I can't read either. Stacks books on kindle but no joy how weird. Used to love reading

It sounds like you (like me) are motivated by things external to yourself. I can get more cleaning done in an hour before I am expecting a visitor than in a week without one (pre lockdown visitor obs)

Yes, that's definitely true.

Do you usually work? Do you need to jobhunt?

I'm working from home. No, don't need to jobhunt.

Can you make something to look forward to like meeting a friend outside?

A bit tricky when we're not meant to use public transport for leisure and I don't drive. But I've been out for a few walks with a neighbour and I'm hoping to meet a local friend soon.

Thanks for the ideas. I'll give some of them a go.

@Sparklesocks and @EnlightenedOwl I didn't even realise it was a 'thing' til your posts

I’ve felt like that increasingly Una Today I’m completely out of the will to try to make myself feel better. It all seems so pointless. None of the things I actually enjoy are going to be possible until fuck knows when.
All the advice given - I do that. I walk daily. I do yoga. I do self care. I work. My flat is a bit untidy, but I’m keeping it clean. I just don’t get any joy (or even mild Pleasure) out of anything.
Lost the energy to try. There’s nothing I can do to make it better, or even different. Not sure what the way forward is to be honest.
Sorry. Haven’t really helped.

@Sparklesocks I would start by making a list of all the things you need to do
Like what? Other than work there’s really no point in anything. Nothing needs doing. It’s all busy work.

I've started doing linkedin learning courses and a vision2learn course, trying to spend some of the time when my son is at nursery and other son is working nicely doing something positive. I am furloughed till Friday and then unemployed so feeling quite despondent.

I like to have a to do list each day, seeing that I have achieved small things really helps.

Do you have to be motivated? Could you just let yourself do what you fancy, even if it’s Netflix and Mumsnet, and not feel guilty?

Start running! It has changed me!

I was really productive for the first 12 weeks (having been made redundant, I job-hunted manically and successfully, and then threw myself into my new job with gusto). In the last week or so it's massively gone out the window. I just really can't be bothered and am feeling super grumpy and lethargic. Minimal focus or inclination to do anything.

Sorry, that's zero help or advice - but I can totally empathise (if that's any consolation).

Do you have to be motivated? Could you just let yourself do what you fancy, even if it’s Netflix and Mumsnet, and not feel guilty?

I have to sort out my flat. It's shocking.

@cardibach well OP said she had no desire to do housework but clearly she wants to it she wouldn’t have started the thread?

And of course everyone has different levels of cleanliness but I don’t agree that nothing ‘needs’ doing. If you leave old food out for example that’s going to develop mould or attract vermin which you don’t want in your home, so doing the washing up etc or taking the rubbish out I would say ‘needs’ doing. But really it’s up to OP, if she wants to do housework but doesn’t feel up to it then it can help to break things down into more manageable tasks.

Ok so you could just tackle one small flat-related task each morning and have the rest of the day off. I’d start with the easiest task and work up.

Something to look forward to makes a huge difference. It's not childish or indulgent, it's hardwired into your brain!

Do you normally go on holiday? Look at the small print and book something that offers a sensible approach in case lockdown is extended.

@Sparklesocks I took the Op to mean it was clean but untidy. She’s said later that it’s worse than that. My point is that for lack of motivation that probably won’t help. You don’t need a list to know what needs cleaning and if you feel as shit as I do (and it sounds like the OP does) it’ll just be a list which might, at most, make her feel worse when she doesn’t do it.
I know you are trying to be helpful, but this whole shit show has made me feel like everything is pointless and I can’t stir myself to do anything. If I do, I get no positive change if mood even temporarily. I have no idea what to do next.

Like what? Other than work there’s really no point in anything. Nothing needs doing. It’s all busy work.

Yeah, that's sort of the problem. If my mum came round she would be shocked, but as no-one is going to see inside my flat at the moment, arguably it doesn't need doing.

I'm not behind with tasks that involve other people - work admin, etc. - but I can't see the point of anything which is really only for my benefit.