Motivation during lockdown

[UnaCorda]

I've been mainly at home on my own for the past three months and am really struggling with motivation. Everything seems pointless when a) I'm not seeing anyone and b) there's nothing to look forward to.

I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything either useful or interesting, apart from watching Netflix and reading Mumsnet. My flat is just on the right side of being a health hazard, but it's a bit of a tip. Part of me doesn't care, and part of me feels guilty for not spring-cleaning like everyone else seems to be doing.

I'm going to bed too late, eating too much crap, not doing enough exercise. I can't decide if I'm depressed - if not, I'm certainly not feeling particularly upbeat or optimistic and can't imagine things improving even when the covid situation does.

Any words of advice much appreciated...

@ThatLockdownLyfe

Something to look forward to makes a huge difference. It's not childish or indulgent, it's hardwired into your brain!

Do you normally go on holiday? Look at the small print and book something that offers a sensible approach in case lockdown is extended.

Yes, it does. That’s the problem. There is nothing, nada, zilch to look forward to. Booking a holiday I know I probably won’t go on would make me feel worse now, and a whole shit load worse when it’s cancelled. I know it’s about the OP not me, but it sounds like she feels the same.

Do you normally go on holiday? Look at the small print and book something that offers a sensible approach in case lockdown is extended.

Yes, I normally have several trips organised over the summer. Part of the problem is that I'm anticipating spending two months on my own, in my flat, without even work to break it up.

@cardibach I’m sorry you’re struggling but I personally find lists help me focus my mind because it breaks things down into manageable pieces rather than looking like a sea of things I can’t grasp. It wasn’t meant to be rude or patronising it was just a suggestion, as the OP ask for suggestions, nobody is obligated to do anything I suggest, or anyone else suggests, if it doesn’t work for them personally ...

I know it’s my issue not yours Sparklesocks. I know you are trying to help.

If you leave old food out for example that’s going to develop mould or attract vermin which you don’t want in your home, so doing the washing up etc or taking the rubbish out I would say ‘needs’ doing.

That's what I mean when I say it's just on the right side of being a health hazard. No, I don't have rotting food lying around, and I've put out the rubbish today, but it does need cleaning.

I know it’s about the OP not me, but it sounds like she feels the same.

@cardibach - yes, it does sound like we're in the same frame of mind. Are you also single?

I am in your situation and I think that getting public transport to meet a friend and go walking/have a picnic together would be entirely reasonable. I've done this myself a couple of times and honestly it has made me feel so much more normal.

Yes I am Una. I’ve done really well so far but I’ve suddenly completely lost the will to drag myself to positivity. It’s not helped that my hobbies are around music performance and theatre so I can’t even see a hint of them coming back.
I think the living alone, which seems almost a blessing early in, is getting harder and harder.

@IrenetheQuaint I met my daughter for a walk the other day. It was lovely at the time, but after I felt even worse. It brought it home to me that I don’t see anyone and I do t know when I’ll be able to. I’m in Wales and nobody else is within (or even close to) the 5 mile guidance.

Once you make a start on your flat then you will feel better. I would I only allow Netflix after 8 pm

During the day listen to the radio or podcasts or music and get some black bags ready. The charity shops open tomorrow. Aim to fill a bag by Friday. Make a list
Start small
Bathroom tomorrow
Hall Tues (Hoover declutter etc )
Wednes sitting room
Thurs kitchen

Imagine how you would feel by Friday

I am in your situation and I think that getting public transport to meet a friend and go walking/have a picnic together would be entirely reasonable. I've done this myself a couple of times and honestly it has made me feel so much more normal.

About a week ago I took the train to the centre of town on my own, in the middle of the day when it was virtually empty, and felt so much better for leaving my immediate area. Also felt a bit guilty, though.

Are you a teacher?
So long off without work can be remedied...
Set weekly tasks- decorating, de clutter a room, wash curtains etc
How about a Cto5k app?
Yoga/meditation
Relaxing home spa
Baking
Befriend someone for a weekly phone call
Prep for next years work

Friends and I do Outfit of the day. It makes us get dressed, room tidy for a picture etc.

Yes I am Una. I’ve done really well so far but I’ve suddenly completely lost the will to drag myself to positivity.

Same. Within the last fortnight or so.

It’s not helped that my hobbies are around music performance and theatre so I can’t even see a hint of them coming back.

Same!

I think the living alone, which seems almost a blessing early in, is getting harder and harder.

Agreed. And while a decent number of friends and family have been in touch, the idea of dating seems almost impossible to imagine.

Set weekly tasks...

@ineedto - It's a good list, but I already know all these things are available. In fact I enjoy doing a lot of those things in normal circumstances, but thinking of a heap of tasks/activities I could, or should, be doing just makes me feel guilty, not more motivated.

Are you a teacher? So long off without work can be remedied...
Oh do fuck off @ineedto
Teachers aren’t ‘off work’ any more than anyone else. They are working from home. It’s hard and lonely and teachers are sociable types or they’d never cope with the job.
I’m a teacher. You’ve succeeded in making me feel even more shit that people think this. Well done. Hope you’re happy with yourself.

The on,y difference Una is that I wasn’t trying to date before and I don’t want to now!
Yes, all these helpful ‘why don’t you...’ posts are not actually helpful. I know what’s out there. I’d do it if it would make me feel better. Many of the things I wouldn’t enjoy even if we weren’t in the middle of all this shit.

@cardibach no need to be a complete cow. The OP said she wasn’t looking forward to the upcoming two months off! Get a grip of yourself.

I am a teacher, my DH is a university lecturer. We are both working damn hard.

So why the particularly bitchy comment about teachers?
Very few get 2 months off anyway.
OP (and I) are lacking motivation or what ever because of what's happened So far.

Once you make a start on your flat then you will feel better. I would I only allow Netflix after 8 pm. During the day listen to the radio or podcasts or music and get some black bags ready. The charity shops open tomorrow. Aim to fill a bag by Friday. Make a list...

I know you're only trying to help, but if I already had that discipline/motivation I wouldn't have started this thread!

@cardibach my comment was not bitchy. You are clearly keen to be offended!

My enquiry was simply to see if the OP was used to a very stressful working environment, would she benefit from taking up something to help with her mental and physical health whilst giving her something to look forward to... a new pb etc.

Your rude response was not needed.

Well I’m sorry if I misunderstood you Maybe look at how your post reads, rather than how you meant it to read, and remember what it’s about and the mental state of people responding...

Yes, all these helpful ‘why don’t you...’ posts are not actually helpful. I know what’s out there.

Yes - I really don't mean to be ungrateful for people's ideas, but just pointing out what I could (or should) be doing doesn't get to the root of the problem, no matter how interesting or varied the list of suggestions is. There's unlikely to be anything I'm not already aware of.

Regarding housework, starting small does make sense, of course, but tackling an entire room is not my idea of starting small! Not in my current mental state, anyway.

I am a teacher, yes, and I'm not sure whether there's been some crossed wires in posts above. I'm not considering myself to be off work at the moment (although I am mainly working from home), but come July I will be. I'd normally fill a lot of that time with going abroad and visiting family, but...

Una it’s that exactly! We are lacking in motivation because of the relentlessness of all this, so bright advice about doing something is not as helpful as it sounds! We know what we should/could do, we just don’t see the point anymore.

And I’m genuinely sorry if I misunderstood what was said about teaching and derailed a bit. I am a bit touchy as there’s a lot of negativity on here about teachers at the moment and I’m not feeling my best.

I think it's clear that a lot of people - perhaps particularly those who have mainly been entirely on their own for nearly three months now - are feeling quite brittle and fragile, and are dealing with some quite difficult feelings about their place in society. (I might be over-reaching here, but I suspect my experience isn't unique.)

In fact, hearing that other people are struggling to focus and to do things does help to ease the guilt - which, ironically, is an obstruction to getting started with things.