To be a little worried about my five year old

[HannahBanana87]

She’s five and a half. Oh I know she’s only little and she is who she is. She is wonderful. She is kind and funny and affectionate and my best little pal in the whole world.

She is in P1 and one of the youngest in her class. She has made some friends at school but she’s very “young” compared to a lot of the girls in her class. Loves Paw Patrol, dolls, that sort of thing. The girls in her class are all into LOL dolls, zoom chats and drawing (DD enjoys drawing but her attention span is very short).

The latest thing is that we are trying to teach her to ride her bike without stabilisers. It’s a nightmare. She’s too frightened of falling off. The minute I let go of the bike her feet come down and she wobbles to a stop. Three full days at it and no improvement shown.

In the meantime kids a good year or two younger than her are cycling past her. Then we met a boy in her class who said “my bike is much bigger and I’ve been riding without my stabilisers for ages”. DD is too young and naive to feel any shame about it, thank goodness.

I know she’ll get it when she’s ready and I have no intention of trying to make her something she’s not. At the same time I don’t want her to be left behind. I don’t want her to be made fun of for being the baby.

Her three year old sister demonstrates a great deal more courage and independence than she does.

Balance buddy helped my 2 learn to ride their bikes.

My DD is 6.5 and still likes Peppa Pig! (she uses the excuse that it's because her little brother watches it but she loves it!).

She's just being herself. And I'd much rather she was into Peppa than TikTok or anything like that, I'm enjoying it while it lasts.

(Though she is obsessed with LOLs)

Ds 5 learned at the beginning of lockdown.. Dd was 7 - her legs were just too spindly!!

Another ds was 2.3!! I was trying to teach ds 3.5 and his db cycled off!!

Your dd will likely have other early for age talents ime.

Dd1 is now 12 and academically brilliant but my god, teaching her to ride a bike was hell and she finally did it age 7. Dtds were 6 and much more confident, less academic though! At almost 9 dtds love dolls and playing. They are all different and it’s fine.

Ds was almost 8 when he learnt to ride a bike. Dd was 4. Ds is now 13 and believe me he is as teenageish as the rest of them. (He's also one of the youngest in Scottish school years )

Where does her birthday fall in the school year? My summerborn DSis really struggled in comparison to her peers with confidence and maturity, pretty much til puberty.

She’s a January birthday (we are in Scotland)

I think Paw Patrol, dolls and bikes with stabilisers sound perfectly normal for a 5 year old.

All perfectly normal...
Some kids cycle really easily... Others take longer.. My eldest was just 5, youngest nearly 7

Borrow a balance bike (no pedals) . Within a couple of days she'll have the confidence in her balance to ride her other bike with no stabilisers.

Sounds perfectly normal. Our almost six year old had her first (unsuccessful) try without stabilisers today. She likes everything from Paw Patrol to zoom chats - pretty much all the things you mention in your OP.

Three year old has a balance bike but it’s teeny. Can you get bigger ones or are they all teeny?

She doesn’t sound “clearly younger than them” at all, just like she is being exposed to different things. As for riding a bike, they really do all do things at different times. Depends when they are physically and mentally ready. It is complicated and sincerely not worth giving any more thought to.

Yup, he would delegate everything to me if I let him 😁. He think he is being sly about it. Surprisingly he is more and more interested in doing things by himself in the kitchen. He's fine to whisk eggs but he wants me to put his velcro shoes on, lazy monkey.

My older one didn't manage to ride without stabilisers till she was 7. I wouldn't worry!

One tip I found really helpful for helping them learn to ride was to hold the child, not the bike. That way they are holding the bike up themselves even if you are holding them.

Another normal vote here! My dd was a younger naive one at that age and I guess still is! I was actually quite pleased - there is plenty of time for all the grown up stuff and lol dolls are naff!!
I understand what you're saying about maintaining friendships though - I also worry about this but kids are so forgiving with each other and make friends so easy that I'm sure she'll fit right back in

Being cautious is no bad thing, I could t ride a bike or swim till I was 7. I've just got a bike today (for free!!!!) and am super excited! Point is, once she can, she will.

This is all very reassuring - thank you.

I had a miserable time at school and I think this worry is all borne from that. I just want her to fit.

She sounds just like me (June baby so young for my class) and I have turned out absolutely fine, even very successful, and can even ride a bike (and it took me a lot longer than 3 days. Relax!

You might be able to take the pedals off the bike and use it as a balance bike. Getting balance is the important bit. The other thing that will help is if the bike is lightweight as it won’t topple her over when she comes to a stop, and will generally be easier. It does seem to be something some kids take to early, and others not. A mix of opportunity and kids preferences, I think.

That said I’m worried about mu 5.5 year old. He can ride a bike but not hold a pencil properly.... due to start school in Aug.

Don't ignore the difference it makes having older siblings too. DS2 is much "older" at the same age than DS1 was. DS1 has loads of friends with 2 or 3 older siblings and the difference when they were 5 was noticeable (speech, interests etc). It evens out.

Play to her strengths and let her enjoy the toys she wants to.

DD is too young and naive to feel any shame about it, thank goodness.

WTAF!

Op you really do need to chill! Your DD will pick up on your anxiety about her so called “underachievement’ and the effect will not be positive.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your DD’s development, she’s exactly where she needs to be.

Please stop comparing her to other children.

Aw sounds similar to DD who is now 7. She still loves playing with her babies and Barbies. We have entered the LOL phase but only in the last few months.

With the bike, it just takes time. DD loved her first bike, she refused to ride without stabilisers, got very upset when we mentioned it. Then we were camping, her friend had a bike the next size up without stabilisers and I kid you not, she asked to borrow the bike, climbed on and cycled off without any help! DH and I were like Did you teach her that?. Nope, she just did it when she was ready. This was 2 months after her 5th birthday. My nephew wasn’t ready til he was 6. Your concerns are understandable and it’s worth talking to school but I think it’ll probably come in time.

Take the pedals off her regular bike to scoot as a balance bike for a wee or so... it makes it so much easier as she will have the balance before she needs to pedal :)

I have four children...
DD1 was 4 when she learned to ride a 2 wheeler... and her 3 year old brother was 3... he watched her, got on and pedalled off... no fear and no sense1
DD2 was 8
DS2 was 13!

They all played with 'babyish' toys when they wanted to.. and now they are grown ups and guess what DS1 wanted (and got) for Xmas.... yep, Lego

Let her be little.. growing up isn't a race :)

My DS only learned to ride just before his 9th birthday, his friends were all on bikes for years before him but he couldn't get it and we didn't push it. One day he just tried his friends bike and off he rode! She'll get there in her own time, don't worry x