To be a little worried about my five year old

[HannahBanana87]

She’s five and a half. Oh I know she’s only little and she is who she is. She is wonderful. She is kind and funny and affectionate and my best little pal in the whole world.

She is in P1 and one of the youngest in her class. She has made some friends at school but she’s very “young” compared to a lot of the girls in her class. Loves Paw Patrol, dolls, that sort of thing. The girls in her class are all into LOL dolls, zoom chats and drawing (DD enjoys drawing but her attention span is very short).

The latest thing is that we are trying to teach her to ride her bike without stabilisers. It’s a nightmare. She’s too frightened of falling off. The minute I let go of the bike her feet come down and she wobbles to a stop. Three full days at it and no improvement shown.

In the meantime kids a good year or two younger than her are cycling past her. Then we met a boy in her class who said “my bike is much bigger and I’ve been riding without my stabilisers for ages”. DD is too young and naive to feel any shame about it, thank goodness.

I know she’ll get it when she’s ready and I have no intention of trying to make her something she’s not. At the same time I don’t want her to be left behind. I don’t want her to be made fun of for being the baby.

Her three year old sister demonstrates a great deal more courage and independence than she does.

Try her on the grass with her bike. If she falls off, she won't hurt herself.

Hi OP I had a similiar situation,
My you my youngest was young & affectionate & wonderfully childlike built so different from others in her class. I took her out of school by the October week & started her following year. Worked wonders, now the oldest in her class, more confident & secure & ready. Your instinct is correct & fwiw you sound wonderful. Trust your instincts

DD9 was burning down the road on her bike and you'd never know she was pretrified of falling off until she was 7.

It really doesn't matter. She'll do it when she's ready and it won't say anything bad about her

(Just don't give up and turn her into my husband who I taught to ride a bike at 26!)

You are being harsh on your daughter. They are all develop at a diff pace and speed. Get her a balance bike, it was the best thing I got my second child. My eldest took way longer to ride the bike compared to my other child who used a balance bike and got the hang of riding a bike very quickly.
Problem is there you won’t find balance bikes fit for a 5 year old, so I suggest unscrewing they pedals on the bike and convert it to a balance bike for couple of months, you will be amazed. Praise and encourage don’t get up on her, she will read your face and frustrations.
Honestly don’t worry too much!

This is the main reason I'm considering home ed for my almost 4 year old. kids seem to grow up way too fast! My eldest played with all that until around 10 and watched cebeebies when nobody was looking (my teddies are watching it lol). Who puts ages on toys and TV? It's just kids stuff regardless of age! My 5.5yo is autstic. She's still in nappies and sleeps in a cotbed..her 5th birthday present was a hungry caterpillar baby toy! Ages mean nothing to us! :)

Try a balance bike! It helps them learn balance before peddling. My eldest didn't get cycling until 5.5yo either..she'll get there!

*dont give up on her

Your DD sounds exactly like mine @HannahBanana87
She also loves being my little shadow in lockdown, wants to be homeschooled, loves her dolls, likes being babied and cuddled and isn’t much bothered by zoom. She’s also super bright and is very popular at school. Btw she’s 12

Seriously your DD sounds adorable and completely normal.
With regards to cycling, I suggest removing the pedals and dropping the seat so she can push herself along by her feet like a balance bike. This should give her lots of confidence that she is in control.

Sounds like my sister and I! 2 year age gap. I didn't learn to ride a bike properly until I was 7 and mainly because my little sister was learning and I didn't want her to do it before me.

It's similar still now. She's always been better at the physical tasks and is more social than I, but I am academically smarter. So swings and roundabouts really. She'll get there in the end!

At the school where I work (state primary) your DD wouldn't stand out in the slightest. She sounds perfectly fine as she is.

And it's always nice to see a child who doesn't feel the need to ditch the things they love, just so that they can copy what everyone else is doing.

We have a mix of these issues. My DS is 7 and some of the kids still watch paw patrol/Octonauts but he moved on from them when he started school. He has however, only learnt to ride a bike since lockdown as was terrifed whereas his 4 yr old sister is desperate to be a big girl, have a big bike and do big girl stuff.

I was always behind the other kids in anything physical at school (summer baby; plus I didn't see the point of unnecessary physical exertion; plus the games teachers were evil harridans intent on daily humiliation leading me to despise "team games" with a passion; plus an eye condition that means no depth vision; plus I'd put money on my being slightly dyspraxic as I've grown older and understood these things), but I made up for it with academic achievements.

(Oh, and I played with my dolls until around the age of 10. Though admittedly they didn't do ordinary "doll" things, they were always going off on adventures up the bookcase. An approach which has come in very useful in the bits and pieces of writing I do.)

I'm sure she'll grow into her paws very soon.

And on the bike thing, why don't we have more trikes or sitting bicycles? You don't have to balance them anywhere near as much, although in our overcrowded little set of islands I suppose space is an issue...

I think we have all had concerns about our children over the years in one way or another so I do understand what you mean, but all children develop at different stages, that was an unkind thing that the boy said but there’s always one! I think your little girl sounds great and she’s got her little friends, I wouldn’t worry too much, it will come

I still can't ride a bike at the age of lots. Parents wouldn't let me have a bike because we lived in London. Little brother was allowed of course.

My son tried to teach me , but his gang of 13-14 year old mates watching me was too much & I gave up.

I think I'd be too frightened to go on the roads now.

Doesn’t sound unordinary for a 5 year old in my opinion. My daughter is 5 and still loves paw patrol and dollies. She hasn’t mastered riding a bike either. She loves her balance bike but hasn’t learnt how to ride an actual bike yet.

My older son didn’t write a bike until age 8. Admittedly he has sen but I remember before he could ride a child a couple years younger than riding past him and laughing as he was still using stabilisers. It broke my heart but he took it in his stride.

But at 5, she sounds perfectly happy and normal. What is normal? Each and every child is different. I’m aware that my own daughter may be a little immature compared to her peers but she’s happy and healthy and that’s all that matters!

She sounds very much like my 11yo DS. We took the pedals off his bike and turned it into a balance bike which did work. He was still anxious about it but it was easier.

He is very different now he's older. He still worries about things and doesn't want to try them unless he's sure he will definitely enjoy whatever it is, which is wearing, but he's actually seemed to learn the knack of making friends now and seems to be popular.

If it makes you fell any better, I paid £25 each an hour for my 2 to have cycling lessons. They were 9 and 10 and i was aware they hadnt learned and were getting a bit embarrassed. Their dad wasnt going to help, so I ended up paying for 2 hours for them each = £100.

Oldest got it, youngest kind of did but then lost it. In the end I took them myself to a local park when they were 11 and 12, and they know how to now but neither ever cycle so bit of a waste!

She will get it, at least you haven't waited as long as I did to sort it and looking like a wally running around hold a bike for a huge 12 year old

OP my nearly 6 year old can barely ride her bike with stabilisers. In fact the last time she went out on it she actually managed to fall off it.....🤦‍♀️

This is the same as my ds bar more boys then girls in his class. He is 5 I think youngest in his year, very small class size. Most the boys are off ‘battling’ he has two friends. He’s so scared of getting in trouble at school he doesn’t join in with the boys and doesn’t speak out in class. He is so clever and I think the teachers miss this but I am so pleased he’s happy and content doing his own thing and not FaceTiming, play fighting or doing daft things in class. I have an older ds who Is older in the year and always in trouble for talking in class.

Ps we tried riding a bike for two weeks straight he started crying last time we tried because he can’t get it we’ll try again in a few months unless he asks sooner.

My dd didn't mater the bike until 7. She is going on 17 , super bright and absolutely fine . She still isn't keen on cycling!

My DD 6 still plays with Peppa Pig small world toys (with DC8!). She does have LOL dolls/regular dolls. My first didn't ride at all til after aged 8.

Some of DD's friends are into really grown up clothes and make up which she really isn't and won't be for years I don't think!

She's 5!! What sort of depressing world are we living in where that's 'too old' to play with dolls?!

That doesn’t sound very unusual to me.

My almost six year old, who is very precocious in some ways, adores Paw Patrol (and Peppa Pig, but he keeps that quiet).

The kids who are great on bikes at that age almost always had balance bikes first IME.

Don’t stress, she sounds lovely.

Such positive reassuring responses here. My son has just turned 6 and a lot of what you say about your daughter would also apply to him. He still loves Paw Patrol which is actually handy as his younger sister does too and they play with the toys together. He also struggles with the bike but that's clearly a lot less unusual than I'd realised!

Just don't worry too much. Bike ride is something kids pick up quick if the child is interested and determined. There's nothing wrong if she isn't.
I think being youngest in the year do affect children, if people keep reminding her. In few years, there are not much difference. I know there are study that says youngest stay disadvantaged forever, and I do believe it' could be true, but not always. Some of them over take older one's in the year group. I wouldn't compare and worry. Just encourage what she loves and enjoys. Once she has something she excel others regardless of her age, being youngest won't really matter.