To renew wedding vows / blessing

[Rubbleonthedouble1]

After ten years married? Just us and DC?

YABU It is tacky don’t do it
YANBU go for it

LadyMonica I’m curious about your use of the words ‘end of’. You do realise they aren’t a magic spell that makes your opinion a fact right?

They’re also more than a little bit tacky.

OP I think it’s lovely and we’ll be doing this when we can travel again post covid. I think the general consensus is that it is tacky when you invite guests. But just you and the kids is a a lovely thing to do, ignore everyone. Tell people if you want don’t of you don’t want to. But you don’t have to hide it for worrying people will think you’re having an affair.

Before MN I would have never thought renewals = cheating. I would have thought they had such a crap wedding day they want some happier memories of getting married. Anyway, if it's just you and the kids I can't see who it's hurting.

I think it's nice. I would have a blessing. I would just like to get dressed up and spend a few minutes thinking dh is my partner not just a lodger I co parent with as that's how it feels a bit like in lockdown.

I personally would go abroad and not have any guests so as part of a nice holiday with DC.

We had a big white wedding 20 years ago. No infidelity so far...

Do what you want. Life is short

I think they’re awful.

Sorry, but you did ask...

What’s wrong with just having a party to celebrate the ten years?

I completely disagree with what most have said. I think a vow renewal or blessing are lovely.
Marriage is hard work, and if you want to celebrate your love, go for it. Especially if it's just for you, dh and dc. It's hardly attention seeking, it's just reaffirming those vows you made ten years ago!

I wouldn’t do it, because I think an anniversary party would do a better job of signalling mutual spousal commitment after many years of the ups and downs of marriage.

I don’t think I’d say it’s tacky, but it’s not part of my culture (yet). So it seems a bit different but not in a bad way.

I’ve never seen the point - as others have said I would assume an affair, however my parents had a renewal onboard a cruise ship following a burglary where my mums wedding ring was stolen. They bought a new ring and wanted to have a ceremony with the new ring. They did it very quietly and only immediate family were aware

We had a blessing after 40 years of marriage (have been married for 48 years) the reason was that when we married it was in a registry office neither of us were particularly religious at the time, now we are regular church goers and had moved into a new area where there is a beautiful church and had also made a new set of friends for us it was the right thing to do and the right place to do it, it was a lovely day

Vows do not have an expiry date. They only need to be renewed if you divorce and then decide to marry each other again. Blessings are meaningless and rather hypocritical if you are not religious.

If you want to celebrate, you can always organise a lovely party or a special holiday for you and your children. Somewhere you've always dreamed of going?

I did know one couple slightly who had a very low-key wedding for various reasons, then held a very glam wedding-themed anniversary ball the following year.

What the majority have said. People WILL wonder which of you had the affair.

Vows don't need to be renewed, blessings are for those who had civil weddings and wish to involve religion. Why the drama? Just have an anniversary party or go on holiday. Naff. Even worse are those people who basically have a second wedding and fanfare.