To renew wedding vows / blessing

[Rubbleonthedouble1]

After ten years married? Just us and DC?

YABU It is tacky don’t do it
YANBU go for it

It sounds like a lovely idea, I hope you’re able to splash out on fancy new duds for yourselves and have a meal afterwards. It’s nice to have something to look forward to with everything being so dire at the moment. Congratulations on 10 years of marriage btw 💐

Is there any chance you could even have a second (or first) honeymoon? Life is for the living, not the terminally fucking miserable.

Do you get a new certificate when you renew your vows?

Everyone else said it. As long as you know it will be seen as an affair patch up, go for it.

Marriage vows are supposed to be ever lasting. Imo they don’t need renewed, and I would assume that someone had cheated or there had been other serious betrayals,. I really hate them because I think they devalue the entire purpose of marriage, which is to make a lifelong commitment - not a ten year commitment that then needs renewed.

That said, it’s just my opinion! Many people feel differently. It has to be your choice as to what’s right for you.

Tacky and attention seeking imo but each to their own.

I've only been to one vow renewal, over twenty years ago when I was in a choir.

One of the members had been married for fifty years. He was a retired vicar. I'm pretty sure neither of them had been cheating...

I would love to renew our vows. We married very young, asked for a non denominational wedding at our local town hall. Instead, we were married in a Baptist ceremony. No dress, no pictures, nothing. It was neither of our ideal weddings, and did not play to our beliefs.

Neither of us have had an affair. But our wedding was just not what either of us wanted. DH says it's completely pointless to renew, but I just want a different memory. Doesn't mean we will ever do it, I value his input. So I think there are good reasons for wanting to do it, and also some naff ones.

oh, and it did not involve a bridal gown.

I'd definitely think someone had cheated on the marriage.

Wedding vows say "till death us do part" so there is no need to renew them.

Only couple I know where I've not thought'who cheated', married because he had been in a serious accident and required spinal surgery that had more chance of him not surviving than being ok , it was done at his hospital bedside for legal reasons as they had DC. He made a recovery, it took years for him to be physically able again and on their tenth anniversary they had a blessing, partly because it was a blessing they'd made ten years and partly because he said he wanted to be able to dance a first dance with his wife (tear inducing speech) but those are very very particular circumstances.

Just plan a lovely trip. I'd even think a big ten year anniversary party a bit odd, it's not a huge amount of time really. DH and I have lived together more than ten years, and although we've not been married that long yet I fully expect to be.

Is it always tacky

My great grandparents have been through a hell of a time lately. My great-gran (77 years old) fell and broke her hip, then caught Covid in hospital and barely, barely survived. Her and my great grandad (age 79) are planning to renew their vows when she gets out of hospital and the Covid situation calms down enough to make it possible. He 'proposed' to her on FaceTime in the hospital - even the nurse was emotional! They've been married for 57 years.

Surely renewing vows isn't always tacky?

I would suspect that a major vow has been broken (cheating)

Tacky and totally daft.

Been to one to celebrate 20 years of marriage- except we all knew there had been major issues in marriage and husband was awful/ it involved more or less rerun of big day with reception- white wedding dress-big ceremony- it was tacky-
I understand blessing for a very long marriage such as golden or ruby anniversary but vow renewal means it was broken?sorry -

No!!!!

Screams ‘affair’

Why do your lifelong vows need renewing? Were they that weak to start with? Hopefully not

SunnyForMe whilst the sentiment is lovely how can you propose if you're already married? I think that's the point people are saying is a wedding day is just that a day it the marriage itself thats hardwork and you need to put the time and effort it . Vows are made till death due us part unless they've been broken the couple have already made that commitment. If you want to celebrate the marriage have an anniversary party but even then 10 years is nothing, it's usually for big anniversaries.

Affair! Definitely. It's the first thing anyone would presume.

Just have a nice day without the tacky vow renewal bit.

Totally up to you, at least you are not being grabby, inviting people and expecting another round of wedding presents.

*AllSortsOfAwkward"

SunnyForMe whilst the sentiment is lovely how can you propose if you're already married? I think that's the point people are saying is a wedding day is just that a day it the marriage itself thats hardwork and you need to put the time and effort it .

I know it's not a proposal officially, which is why I put in inverted commas. Frankly, my family have been through hell recently so why would people like you want to shit on a bit of happiness this has given us? If it makes my great-grandparents (who, having been married for almost 60 years, absolutely know how tough marriage can be) tacky, so be it. I'd rather be tacky than negative and try and detract from other people's happiness.

Renewing just suggests to me that you didn’t think they were meant to be permanent in the first place 🤷🏻‍♀️
Blessing - lovely.
Party - if that’s your thing, though 10 years isn’t really that much.
Renewal - nope.

SunnyForMe wow did you mean to be so rude I gave a reason why people don't agree with vow renewals I was very respectful in my reply.

AllsortsofAwkward

I'm being rude? You entirely dismissed what is a lovely gesture in my family, a gesture of love between my great-grandparents. It's obviously in the circumstances I described that no vows have been broken. Express your views, sure. You're welcome to. Say that usually it's not something you'd think as normal. But don't expect no response when you make adverse inferences involving a deeply personal story I've shared, when you explicitly cite what I've said. That's what being rude truly involves.

I said the sentiment was lovely but you asked why it would be considered tacky and people and myself stated because vows don't expire and people view renewals as if someone has cheated which maybe not the case certain situations can be nice .

AllsortsofAwkward

Maybe you could have just said it was nice in these circumstances then? Because that's not what your reply said. Or are the circumstances I described not "nice"?

Look, I'm not after an argument. I'm ready for bed. I'm not going to say that the reasons against renewing your vows are invalid. But you cited the circumstances I said and invalidated what my great grandparents were doing. If you don't think that my grandparents are "tacky", let's leave it. Otherwise, let's keep talking.