AIBU in being dismayed at satsuma variance?

[Mysterian]

You buy a hairnet full of satsumas and they're delicious. Juicy, tasty, and easy to peel. You go back the next day for another hairnet full and it turns out they're solid, hard to peel, tasteless orange packets and sadness and tragedy.

Why is it so hard to trust a satsuma?

You know what winds me up?

As a woman I go to fruit shops a lot but I've never seen a mango?

Yes yes and yes NOTHING is as good as a satsuma and if u r reading this supermarkets take note I do not want mandarins Clementine's easy peeler nonsense only satsumas will do if you buy them too early and they sit in your fridges until u feel like ripening them to sell STOP this get them when they are ripe juicy n ready and sell when ready and plant some more satsuma trees import more stop selling wannabes

There are definitely satsumas available at the moment. I love satsumas. Will tolerate tangerines. Hate clementines. Anyways. I always check the variety on the labels on the net bag. Got a bag of good satsumas in Aldi yesterday.

Finally someone is speaking out!

YANBU OP. I’ve taken a citrus hiatus because I just can’t hack it on top of all the uncertainty right now.

Lidl did a run on amazing big boxes of clementines before Christmas — cardboard with a sort of ineffectual plastic mesh blanket covering the top. They were consistently amazing all through November and December but lost it in Jan and now they don’t do them any more.

Hate the hairnet ones. Almost always awful and yes, a rotten one in every pack

Firstly clementines are vastly superior to satsumas. But the true fruit disappointment is blueberries, 1 in 5 is perfect, the rest are mealy or so sharp your face turns into a cats arsehole

The only ones I can find that always meet my high standards are the Waitrose ones. Perfect every time

What even is a little peeler 😬?

I mis-trust fruits and vegetables with improper names.

Peaches and nectarines way worse.

“We are not ripe!”

“Haha, all three of us are mouldy overnight!”

The struggle is real. I can’t bear it. The roulette of fruit buying is spreading out to include blueberries - some delicious and then the next time you’ll get mushy fuckers or bitter bastards. Strawberries that can be sweet and juicy or totally flavourless. Why? WHY? Raspberries are feckers, little caterpillar things hiding inside. I have to inspect each one so it isn’t worth buying them.
We need a Campaign for Quality Fruit. It might involve a march.

We have a family WhatsApp group solely for sharing reports of good ones.

Yes! I stopped buying them because of this. Too random.

You can always depend on the wisdom of Simon Drew at a time like this.

I hate the marketing fuckers who know they're lying through their teeth when they claim nectarines and peaches are "Ripe and Ready to Eat".

NO.THEY'RE.NOT!!!

The only time I buy is October up until Christmas as they do seem a bit more reliable then but I must give a shout out for the tangerine bought from M&S or Waitrose, absolutely delicious and just a very few rogue ones. These are my go to small orange type fruit but you do have to search for them and they never seem to be available in any supermarket apart from the two mentioned above

What happened to the tangerines of old, a lovely rich flavour, easy to peel, around at Christmas time. I never see them anymore.

@WorraLiberty

@PickAChew I think mine is an ordinary Victoria plum tree so I think it's actually got some plum lurgy.

This thread is marvellously bonkers

Last lot were so disappointing. Inedible. Little orange fuckers.

Brilliant 😂

Same with nectarines, melons and pineapples. It’s a lottery.

@missyB1

Yanbu I go to Waitrose as they are most reliable for naatjies as they are known in our house (South African name for them). Dh grew up with them growing in his back garden and is addicted to them. We get through about 20 a week at least. But yes a crappy naajtie is one of life’s big disappointments.

I did have a little giggle at this Missy.

The last line. There is one letter difference between a fruit and a quickie.

Naartjie is the fruit.
Naaitjie is a quickie and yes a crap one of these also disappoints.

But I agree, both can be disappointing at times

When I read the thread title I thought, who is Satsuma Variance?

Ooh yes, this is one of life’s little mysteries! Literally every bag of orange variances I buy is a Russian roulette. And every single bag has one which turns to dust by the time I get it home from the shops!
Also, I bought satsumas last week in Sainsbury’s.

So glad to see some people understand the difference between satsumas, clementines, tangerines, mandarins etc!

Satsumas are superior to all others, but yes, generally only available at Christmasand in 1955.

Sainsbury's have decent Spanish nectarines at present, I can attest- I have eaten two punnets this week
To stop them going mouldy, obviously...

@WorraLiberty I have immediately texted that to my Dad, who is a great purveyor of crap jokes, to add to his vast collection 😊

Thanks to this thread I got satsumas today Would never have thought to even look for satsumas in June!