AIBU in being dismayed at satsuma variance?

[Mysterian]

You buy a hairnet full of satsumas and they're delicious. Juicy, tasty, and easy to peel. You go back the next day for another hairnet full and it turns out they're solid, hard to peel, tasteless orange packets and sadness and tragedy.

Why is it so hard to trust a satsuma?

Oh I totally agree! M&S easy peelers (probably clementines?) are the most reliable but there’s always at least one ball of disappointment in the bag.

I like them quite sharp tasting and often find them to be a bit tasteless. Pink grapefruit is now my citrus fruit of choice.

Not many disappointments to match peeling any sort of orange-coloured citrus fruit and finding the inside dry and tasteless. I like oranges and their relations to be all three of the following: juicy, sour, sweet. So good when I do get one that lives up to expectations.

yanbu
I wish I could remember the variety and check the bag before I buy.
and I can never remember what's what either...
satsuma?
mandarin?
clementine?

Just stick with Terry’s chocolate orange.
It never fails to satisfy 🙂

There are two types of oranges.

Big oranges
Little oranges

All of them are beautiful at their best but oh so unreliable :(

Best Thread Title Ever

Satsuma variance.

It’s begging to be a title for something, but what?

Prog rock band?
Fancy paint?

You know, if a political party addressed serious issues like this, they’d have my vote instantly.

Has to be satsumas, not clementines, tangerines or that hideous marketing Frankenbomination, an “EasyPeeler”:

Has to be bought Oct/Nov time (we fondly think of them as Christmas fruit, but honestly they seem to be past their best then.)

Has to one of that run of totally delicious ones that lull you into a false sense of security before BAM! Suddenly horrible net of pastey orange traitors.

I would prefer they sold fruit in season and it be good than these depressing things they sell all year round.

I'm not buying them because of this. I can't handle the upset.

That's why I now stick to apples! Pink Lady only. Always delicious.

People are getting confused here and seem to be wrongly naming small citrus fruits as satsumas. Satsumas are only available in this country for a few halcyon weeks before Christmas

I thought that. But no, proper Satsumas are back in Tesco’s.
Weirdly after New Year it was all easy perked bollocks but the genuine article is back in stick. The boy has eaten two baby oranges a day for the last 5 years snd satsumas are the best.

@YangShanPo

It's even more annoying if they are labelled easy peel when they are anything but.

I find the ‘easy peel’ are usually the most difficult, with thin hard skin

And don’t forget mangoes. They lure you in with the promise of soft lusciousness. Only for you to wait and wait for them to ripen and you cut it a week later and it’s still like a brick. It then goes from brick to rotten mush overnight . Bastard mangoes.

A positive result of lockdown has been the discovery of tinned 'little oranges' in juice.

I recommend them to you all.

I'm with you OP - and you too AdaColeman! I've been online shopping more recently and find I get this more when I can't select my own clementines and pears. I've also not bought strawberries online as I'm unsure what quality I'd be getting.

I always go for easy peelers, which makes me feel like a toddler, but they tend to be okay most of the time. The M&S ones are pretty reliable but I’m not frequently near one 😩

What the hell are "easy peelers" anyway? Is that a variety? Surely not. A description? And they have tight skins, I prefer loose skins - easier to peel and more consistent taste.

Satsumas for me please.

The coop ones that come in like a flimsy cardboard box are generally reliably nice but expensive.

When I read the title I immediately thought that “satsuma variance” was a mathematical term I’d never heard of. Wtf is wrong with me?

In agree, they’re very unreliable and when you peel and eat the first disappointment you can’t throw the rest in the bin because it’s wasteful so you have to wait a few days try another (bad) and only then can you throw them in the bin.

They are in season here now and certain shops have certain names for them. We just call the whole lot one name really, so it's like a lottery Ias to whether you picked up the ones with pips or not. As I can never remember which of the fancy names have pips in and which don't.

I wish we were able to do a taste test like we do with grapes. Although that practice I am sure is no longer an option either, thanks Covid19.

Bad fruit is deeply depressing. Dry satsumas, fluffy apples, pears that leap from rock hard to brown and rotting with only a 5 minute window of ripeness in between.
I've become so disillusioned with satsumas now, so I only buy oranges.

It has to be actual satsumas I’m with other posters none of those clementines, tangerines or easy peelers in this house thanks. The baggier the skin the better and the easier to peel! Easy peelers when DH has mistakenly got them are useless at peeling!!!

Satsuma Variance definitely sound like a prog band, probably about to release that difficult third album 'The Unreliability of Fruit' (a concept album obvs).

Apples are tricky buggers too, even Pink Lady sometimes. They look shiny, juicy and perfect but instead of delicious, crisp sweetness you get pulpy disappointment