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Original poster

Potty training nightmare, please help. I really don't know what to do now

88 replies

5lilducks · 06/06/2020 08:42

Hi all

Posting here for traffic. I have posted here before re.advice on potty training but now I am facing my ultimate potty training nightmare and I don't know what I should do. My HV hasn't returned my call yet and I need some urgent advice please.

We started potty training DD 2.5 last week Monday. She insisted on wearing "big girl knickers" and does all her wee's in the potty. On Monday she was about to do a poo in her knickers and I caught her and amid much protest I placed her on her potty and she did a poo in it. Since then she absolutely refuses to sit on the potty for a poo. Sometimes I have managed to make her sit on it by plonking her in front of the TV and putting her favourite programme on ,but she just sits on it like sitting in a cinema and nothing ever happens. A few minutes later I put a nappy on her and then she would poo in minutes. I realise I have probably made a mistake by putting a nappy on her for her to poo in but I was worried she would withold her poo and get constipated. Now she will not sit on her potty for a poo or if she does she will just sit on it like sitting on a chair and then get up and ask for a nappy and say "I want to poo in a nappy". Aby advice as to what I should be doing would be greatly appreciated. Yesterday she asked for a nappy to poo in and I told her there were no nappies for her to poo in , and that she had to do her poo in the potty. Therefore, she didn't poo at all yesterday. Should I give her a nappy for her to poo in or would she just get used to pooing in her nappy and not want to use the potty for poo? Or shall I ditch the whole potty training fiasco and go back to full time nappies (wees and poos) and try again in a few weeks? Please help I really have no idea what to do. Tia.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 06/06/2020 09:21

Will she go on the toilet with a toddler seat?
DS refused to even sit on the potty with any amount of bribery but he happily went to the toilet

Teateaandmoretea · 06/06/2020 09:22

Exactly dance

I had the opposite thing with dd1 where she refused to poo with a nappy on from 2.4 because she didn’t like the feeling of it. It’s easier that way round but it’s the same thing. She was less reliable than the OP’s dd about wees, however.

HeyBlaby · 06/06/2020 09:22

From someone who suffered through several failed potty training attempts, it is best to wait a while and try again. I wish I had done this but listened to my MIL who said 'everyone elses grandchildren were trained by his age, you have to keep trying'.

At one point I spent a week inside with a child who just pooped wherever he felt like it, not great.

In the end was fully potty trained, poo included in 3 days at 3 years 8 months and dry overnight with zero issues (although I am sure many will manage earlier than this)

Children need to be mentally and physically ready, it isn't a failure on your part if the child is not, and you can't make them.

babbi · 06/06/2020 09:22

Been there .. dont stress pee in potty and provide a nappy for poos ...

This is very common ... she will poo in the potty when she’s ready .

OfDragonsDeep · 06/06/2020 09:22

I had this, but no way would I give up if she’s cracked wees already.

What I did was make sure that he was eating a good diet with plenty of water and fibre, so he would need to poo. I could tell when he needed to go, so I’d grab him and sit him on the potty (he wasn’t happy about this) and then I made an enormous fuss about how happy I was and gave him a present of a little toy he wanted.

I told him that I’d buy another present for the next poo and then after that I extended it for 3 poos gets a toy, then 5, and after that it was normal.

Good luck!

Teateaandmoretea · 06/06/2020 09:23

I also think OP a lot of people haven’t actually read the thread or your OP, just the title of the thread.

kitk · 06/06/2020 09:23

I agree with stopping for a bit but FYI my DD always hates pooing in the potty but had no issues doing it in toilet- might be worth a try?

ellesbellesxxx · 06/06/2020 09:26

My son potty trained 2 months ago (he just turned 3) and will happily take himself to the potty for wees, but still isn’t making it with poos.. it can take longer apparently so we are just encouraging but not making a big deal out of it if he has a poo accident.

iusedtohavechickens · 06/06/2020 09:27

My eldest dd (18 now!) refuses to pooh on potty. In the end we had to reward her teddy for pooping on the potty (dolls potty and a cooked sausage popped in when she wasn't looking) then we took bear bear to the shop and brought him a present. When we got back she promptly did a poop on the potty and wanted to go to the shop. She just needed to get over the dear and is really common. We had tried everything at the point of getting bear bear to do it 🤦‍♀️

kenandbarbie · 06/06/2020 09:27

Just go back to nappies till she's ready. I tried my dc twins at 2.5, gave up because it was horrendous. Started again at 3.5 did it in a week with barely any accidents. Next dc didn't even try till he was 3.5, again easy. Unless you have to for childcare, although I personally wouldn't be happy with childcare that made me potty train when dc wasn't ready.

scrivette · 06/06/2020 09:28

Wees in the potty and poo in a nappy is fine, she will poo in the potty when she is ready. It's really common, DS did this for a few weeks. (DD only poos in the potty and won't wee so they are all different!)

It really doesn't matter, what's great is that she is ready to do a wee on the potty, keep encouraging her to do her wee on the potty and try not to worry.

iusedtohavechickens · 06/06/2020 09:28

That should say refused not refuses although I imagine she probably would refuse being 18 now 😂

sunlightflower · 06/06/2020 09:28

I think this is very common, this has happened to several people I know. Don't panic yet, she's still very young.

ShebaShimmyShake · 06/06/2020 09:29

It's hard to poo in a new way. Try cutting a hole in a nappy and letting her wear it while she sits on the potty. Some children prefer sitting on the toilet with a children's toilet seat on it. Easier for you as well.

ishouldtryabiteachdayy · 06/06/2020 09:30

I wouldn't stop, but I would make her sit on the potty to poo in the nappy to start with. The fact she's asking means she's totally controlling it. Then as another poster said then use open nappy inside potty.

kenandbarbie · 06/06/2020 09:30

Cross posted, why on earth have you hidden her potty? Just let her wee in it and poo in a nappy.

Yes don't hide the potty, follow her lead.

Smellbellina · 06/06/2020 09:30

Get the ‘Poo goes to Poolanf’ app and let her poo in a nappy until she’s ready

Oomph · 06/06/2020 09:32

My children always refused to poo in a potty, but would do it in the toilet. If you think about it, it makes sense. It’s not particularly pleasant to be faced with smelly poo in a container.

Original poster
5lilducks · 06/06/2020 09:32

Thanks all for your replies. They've been very helpful. I think I am going to let her wee in the potty and give her a nappy for her to poo. As PPs have said I probably should not go back with the wees as she is very good with them and is insisting on doing her wee in the potty. Then maybe after a few days i will try lining the potty with a nappy and see if it will work. If it doesn't ,then she will have to poo in nappy until she is ready.

OP posts:
Original poster
5lilducks · 06/06/2020 09:33

I will also order a child's toilet seat today and see if that works.

OP posts:
Teateaandmoretea · 06/06/2020 09:33

Exactly that. She’ll be happy and in control which is what matters Smile

SimonJT · 06/06/2020 09:33

Potty for wee and nappy for poo?

My son didn’t take to toilet training well, when he was reliably dry and using the toilet/potty it took another 3/4 months before he would poo on the toilet/potty. He was late cracking going for a wee on the toilet/potty so for the first month of primary school he needed a nappy to go for a poo, it was frustrating for me, but I would just pop him in a nappy when he got up in the morning and he would go for a poo almost straight away.

Don’t stress, I know that is easier said than done!

Smellbellina · 06/06/2020 09:34

None of mine ever really Successfully used a potty to poo either, they just sat on the toilet

ladyflower23 · 06/06/2020 09:37

I had lots of probs with poo and my DS. It's quite common. Keep going with the wees in the potty. See if you can get her to poo wearing a nappy whilst sitting on the potty. If this works start cutting holes in the nappies so they start off small and gradually get larger. Eventually the hole will be so big the poo will go into the potty and she won't feel the need to wear the nappy any more.

Raaaa · 06/06/2020 09:38

My DD cracked doing wee's in the potty and wanted to to poos in her nappy for a bit longer.
We put her in knickers during the day and just accepted there would be accidents and then she would normally do a poo in her nappy before she went to bed and that was fine.
I'd say let her use the potty and nappies if she wants to.