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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hygiene issue with dog and baby

276 replies

fluffyslippersplease · 05/06/2020 20:48

I'm expecting a baby in October. Dh had the dog before we met 5 years ago. I really am not a dog person which Dh knew. The dog is quite old and seems to have chronic problems with skin, ears and particularly his eyes. We had his eyes operated on but the problems persist. It's constantly shedding skin and hair everywhere and its eyes are always filled with gunge. You clean them and apply drops and ten minutes later they're green again. Two vets have just said keep cleaning and use the drops. I'm very concerned about the hygiene aspects of having this dog around the baby, even around me. I've already had four miscarriages. I have suggested to dh that the dog should remain in the conservatory and the garden rather than coming into the main house. Dh is totally against this because he likes to spend time with the dogs and the conservatory, although it has tv, sofa etc, isn't as comfortable as the rest of the house. He acts like I'm Cruella Deville in this and just accuses me of not liking the dog. I don't dislike the dog. I feel sorry for it but I really don't like touching and stroking it because of its problems especially having a baby. We also have a youngish dc he had from a previous relationship that strokes the dog a lot and I worry about it touching the dog and then touching the baby.

OP posts:
Mischance · 05/06/2020 22:44

You are being entirely reasonable - baby first; dog second.

redwinefine · 05/06/2020 22:46

OP, does the dog need to be inside at all? Your concern for your baby is natural - especially considering the miscarriages. Ignore unpleasant posts here. I've had a few dogs that have been 'outside' dogs. They have a kennel, water, plenty of space, etc. During winter they could go into shed/ garage but ultimately they were outside dogs. I think you're right about going to the vet with your DH, just to make sure things are clear. Is it infectious or merely unsightly, etc. Your DH needs to understand that priorities shift and your baby's health is definitely more important than a dog being restricted to two rooms!!!

longearedbat · 05/06/2020 22:46

Leaving aside everything else, when did the dog actually last see a vet? If my dog had a constant problem like this I would be demanding a full investigation and a visit to a specialist if they couldn't treat it. Either that or I would be changing my vet. Is the dog insured? I just find it unbelievable that a dog can be left to suffer like this - it sounds so painful.

OldCow1 · 05/06/2020 22:47

My view . Your baby will not benefit from shielding from germs. Breast feed it if possible but absolutely have baby around the dog. If you shield too much you'll end up with a baby that needs to live in a bubble.

jellybeanz1212 · 05/06/2020 22:48

I hate when people refer to animals as it. Says it all to me. YABU

GreytExpectations · 05/06/2020 22:49

@Mischance

You are being entirely reasonable - baby first; dog second.
So because a baby arrives a dog deserves to be treated cruelly and locked away all day and night?
Original poster
fluffyslippersplease · 05/06/2020 22:50

Thank you to everyone who posted with actual advice and dog health knowledge. I will make sure I go with dh and insist on a different vet next time. The food thing definitely needs looking into to. I think dh is a bit lazy minded about this aspect of things. I have also just spoken to dh about the idea of a pen for the kitchen and he likes this idea. Also I had not thought about the fact that dh abd I had never been ill from cleaning the dogs eyes and ears so that does make me feel better.
Yours truly
Ms de Vil

OP posts:
OliviaPopeRules · 05/06/2020 22:52

GreytExpectations She isn't talking about locking the dog in a room but I think you already know that so it's pointless to keep going back and forward. I am so glad I never posted on MN about some of the things I was anxious about before I had a baby. I thought this was a site to help mums not to be vicious. I mean can you imagine reading about someone who has had 4 miscarriages and is nervous about a situation for when her first baby arrives and instead of saying - I think you are wrong about the dog but I understand your anxiety and maybe x solution could work (as some people kindly have) many the posters on here think it as acceptable say things like - hope your DH leaves you, I understand why he acts like you're Cruella Deville, I think to call you Cruella is to be too kind, You are being horrrible OP, thats horribly fcking cruel, that poor dog being shoved out because of a new baby - just some of the gems the op has received on here.

Runbitchrun · 05/06/2020 22:52

It’s not about the space the dog would have. A dog is, or should be, a part of the family. To isolate it to the conservatory to ease your anxiety about hygiene is completely unreasonable and you need to get some help before subjecting the poor dog to this level of neglect.
To say your husband knew you didn’t like dogs, like this somehow makes it his problem that you now want to exclude his elderly, ill dog from the family home is appalling.

GreytExpectations · 05/06/2020 22:54

She isn't talking about locking the dog in a room but I think you already know that so it's pointless to keep going back and forward

Except for the fact in her OP, she suggested the dog only be allowed in the conservatory, meaning kept in one room away from the rest of the house. How am I getting that wrong when it is literally written in the OP?

slashlover · 05/06/2020 22:55

I would assume the youngish step DC has been around the dog since they were a baby and OP would have mentioned if they had become ill after stroking the dog a lot. Has the step DC ever become ill?

GreytExpectations · 05/06/2020 22:56

@slashlover

I would assume the youngish step DC has been around the dog since they were a baby and OP would have mentioned if they had become ill after stroking the dog a lot. Has the step DC ever become ill?
Yes I'd assume so too. Seems like the OP along with the other dog hating posters are ignoring that bit of logic
backseatcookers · 05/06/2020 22:57

OP I don't think including the sex of your stepchild would have been what suddenly made you at risk of being outed - they're pretty specific details regardless of the sex of the child!

Should have said he had a cat not a dog or something if you didn't want to risk outing...

Lavenderpurple · 05/06/2020 22:57

OP, does the dog need to be inside at all?

You can’t just suddenly make an elderly dog that’s been used to an indoor lifestyle, live outside.

My dd has been around her grandparents dogs and aunties dog from a few days old. She’s yet to catch something.
I was also raised with dogs, I’m 32 and still waiting to catch something.

slashlover · 05/06/2020 22:58

I've had a few dogs that have been 'outside' dogs. They have a kennel, water, plenty of space, etc.

My uncle bred sheepdogs and they lived outside. Bit different to take an elderly inside dog and try to change it to an outside dog.

Xiphisternum · 05/06/2020 22:59

YABU, living with a dog when young strengthens babies' immune systems

OliviaPopeRules · 05/06/2020 22:59

GreytExpectations She wanted the dog to spend his indoor time in the conservatory she didn't say she would lock him in. Also not really the important point of my post but just ignore the rest!

OldCow1 · 05/06/2020 23:01

Exactly Xphisrermum

GreytExpectations · 05/06/2020 23:01

@OliviaPopeRules

GreytExpectations She wanted the dog to spend his indoor time in the conservatory she didn't say she would lock him in. Also not really the important point of my post but just ignore the rest!
How is making the dog only stay in one room different to being locked away? You do realise it is just a figure of speech, would shut away be easier for your to comprehend? The dog would only be allowed in the conservatory or outside, not allowed in the rest of the house. Please explain to me how that isn't essentially locking it away?
Floatyboat · 05/06/2020 23:01

Is it one of those short muzzled saggy skin ones. They often have chronic problems you can do nothing about. Have you considered having it put down? Would make life easier and it's going to die at some point.

GreytExpectations · 05/06/2020 23:03

Also @OliviaPopeRules yes I saw the rest of your saviour post. You are the OP's personal cheerleader, we get it.

Deadringer · 05/06/2020 23:04

I don't think there is anything with restricting the dog to the garden and conservatory at all, but then our dog doesn't have the run of our house, he mostly stays in the kitchen, and the porch where his bed is. If your dh loves the dog so much he can just spend lots of time with it in the conservatory.

OliviaPopeRules · 05/06/2020 23:04

GreytExpectations Well seeing as you were so concerned with the ops use if it I assumed you would be literal and not using a figure of speech! As I have said several times that is not really the point of my posts but you are choosing to ignore how vitriolic posters have been to the op.

Viletta · 05/06/2020 23:04

There is a research showing that exposure to animal in infancy is good for immunity and allergy resistance.

AgentOhDoSodOff · 05/06/2020 23:04

Can you ask the vet to swab the ‘gunge’ to see what grows?

I’d second the change of dog food. Took us a year to get it right for our pooch. Look for good quality sensitive food. Lily’s Kitchen is good quality.

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