Hygiene issue with dog and baby

[fluffyslippersplease]

I'm expecting a baby in October. Dh had the dog before we met 5 years ago. I really am not a dog person which Dh knew. The dog is quite old and seems to have chronic problems with skin, ears and particularly his eyes. We had his eyes operated on but the problems persist. It's constantly shedding skin and hair everywhere and its eyes are always filled with gunge. You clean them and apply drops and ten minutes later they're green again. Two vets have just said keep cleaning and use the drops. I'm very concerned about the hygiene aspects of having this dog around the baby, even around me. I've already had four miscarriages. I have suggested to dh that the dog should remain in the conservatory and the garden rather than coming into the main house. Dh is totally against this because he likes to spend time with the dogs and the conservatory, although it has tv, sofa etc, isn't as comfortable as the rest of the house. He acts like I'm Cruella Deville in this and just accuses me of not liking the dog. I don't dislike the dog. I feel sorry for it but I really don't like touching and stroking it because of its problems especially having a baby. We also have a youngish dc he had from a previous relationship that strokes the dog a lot and I worry about it touching the dog and then touching the baby.

You're WELL out of order. The dog is elderly and needs love and care right now and all you can think about it hair etc? Wait until your child is born. You'll be amazed at the mess that comes out of a baby.

I get how you feel OP but you will get trounced on here.

Tbh this is why people who don't like dogs don't usually marry dog people. It's a big area of incompatibility.

Dogs are living creatures that you commit to caring for and treating as part of the family for the rest of their lives when you take them home. It's nothing but cruel to ditch them (or condemn them to a life in a conservatory) once you decide you don't like certain aspects of them anymore. You knew your husband came with a dog before you got involved and long before you got pregnant which means that you agreed to care for the dog at least indirectly also. The baby will be fine unless the vet says otherwise. Just wash your hands and don't let the dog lick the baby (both of which you should be doing anyway so I really don't see the issue).

Ps I would target this from a different angle.

Is the dog unwell? If it's got life impacting chronic conditions and is suffering, is it not kinder for it to be put down humanely? Sometimes I think our love for our pets and expectation of distress on their passing, can make us selfish in prolonging a life that is no longer worth living.

@Glowcat we've just had so many courses of antibiotics and we were told the eye operation would help things considerably but it just doesn't seem to have. I think it's just when I look at the dog and see green gunge it looks very infectious to me. If it didn't have that I wouldn't feel the same. The hair and dry skin I can cope with.

You are being horrrible OP. Dog doesn't go upstairs or in living room so those are dog free zones. Surely that's enough

YABU to set up home with a man who has a pre existing dog, when you don't like dogs.

I love dogs and even I can imagine how horrible it would be to have one forced upon you. Constant hair, slobber, noise, picking up poop.

Once baby arrives you will feel even more strongly disgusted by the dog. I had a hard enough time with my own dog and she was my baby before I had my first child. I was not prepared for the strength of my protective instincts towards my newborn. Somehow I lost interest in the dog as soon as DC1 was in my arms. I'm not saying that's ok, I'm saying that's how I felt and that was my reality. It was utterly shit for all of us, basically DH took over DDog as I couldn't stand DDog anywhere near the baby.

It's a shitty situation and you are wise to address this with DH now to try and plan how to deal with it. The early weeks and months with a new baby are the most extreme stress you will ever have on your relationship, even without a dog in the mix. Good luck.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

Ps I would target this from a different angle.

Is the dog unwell? If it's got life impacting chronic conditions and is suffering, is it not kinder for it to be put down humanely? Sometimes I think our love for our pets and expectation of distress on their passing, can make us selfish in prolonging a life that is no longer worth living.

Are you seriously suggesting the OP suggests euthanising the dog?!

Bloody hell.

Why did you marry your husband when you knew he was a dog person with a dog and you were not? I have never heard of a dog causing miscarriages or harming a pregnant person. Surely your DH can administer to the dog but you can give the poor thing the odd pet without thinking it’s going to affect your pregnancy? Does the dog have a contagious disease? I think you have your answer here which you don’t like but is overwhelming in favour of your husband and joe he cares about the dog who has done nothing wrong bar grow old.

The use of "it" when talking about your dog and stepchild makes me cringe, it is clear how you regard them both.

Yeah me too, completely agree

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland It seems healthy otherwise, eats well and is quite active apart from its sore eyes. I don't think it's a 'put it down' situation but I'm not an expert. We certainly haven't been advised

Come on, the dog came first and your DH loves him. Be kind to the dog, let your DH take care of his eyes but let him (the dog!) be part of the family.

@MilleniumHallsWalledGarden I used 'it' for dc because I'm trying to avoid outing details thanks

Living with dogs is actually good for babies and helps develop a strong immune system: www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/dogs-health-asthma-benefits-living-with-pets-babies-children-illnesses-bacteria-a7786886.html

Wow you're being completely unreasonable. I have three medium sized dogs and two chickens. Dogs free roam in the house, chickens free roam in the garden, daughter is 17 months old, never had any issues at all.

Just keep hygiene up together and try not to stress about it

Not being a dog person does not make you a dog hater. I've just never had them. Growing up I had cats and rabbits as do all my family.

The use of "it" when talking about your dog and stepchild makes me cringe, it is clear how you regard them both.

Me three - who calls their stepchild it??

Yabu - extremely unreasonable

Honestly op loads of studies suggest that children benefit from growing up around animals, they're less likely to have asthma and allergies. A lot of what we now consider Unhygienic like contact with animals is actually really good for our immunity.

Speak to a vet about if there's any risk to being around the dog with his conditions: there are some specific animal complaints, like cats, that pregnant women should avoid. But other than that I think you're being unreasonable.

I understand recurrent miscarriages create a lot of stress. Are you sure you're not redirecting a lot of that stress into the dog, think if you can just sort that one situation out you can keep your baby safe?

Talk to you midwife, talk to your nurse, but I'm afraid inthis scenario it does seem your husband is right.

If the dog is brushed daily (outside is easier) it will reduce the hair problems and the dry skin could probably be helped by some oil in his diet. Worth asking the vet. Make the dog more comfortable.
New babies you do tend to want to keep clean but by the time they are mobile and going to nursery they will be into everything. Just make sure the dog is wormed regularly and it’s very very unlikely your child will catch anything. Humans it will catch things from.

@Boshmama I've just said why. I also used dc which as far as I know stands for dear child. We love a good witch hunt on here don't we?

what a terribly sad thread.

poor dog

But now you do have one, and you should accept and treat it as part of the family.

Your DH should take responsibility for the eye condition and treatment in order to make you feel more comfortable, but you Could let the dog still have access to the spaces it does now. It would be worth trying another vet too, maybe find a specialist.

If you insist on the dog staying in the conservatory or outdoors, I bet you'll end up not getting much support with the newborn when it is here because your husband will want to spend time with his dog. He will end up resenting you. It's not worth upsetting the family dynamic when the dogs condition will not hurt any of you.

In which it doesn't actually sound unwell, it just sounds like it has a chronic condition you personally find intolerable.

I'm sorry but in that case OP yabu. While you say you are not a dog hater I imagine you just don't love the dog as a member of your family but alas your DH does, and you knew he had dog when you choose to be with him.

As the dog is already in your home you need to make sure it gets proper treatment for its eyes and be scrupulous with hygiene. I remember carefully introducing our two dogs to my newborn. They knew baby was now top dog and they behaved appropriately. No problems at all.

The use of "it" when talking about your dog and stepchild makes me cringe, it is clear how you regard them both.

This. You sound really callous. How he finds anything attractive about a woman who refers to his child as "it" is beyond me.

Dogs cannot cause miscarriages. If his eye infection was contagious, one of you would have caught it by now. I can understand not being a dog person but he had the dog when you met him, it's not like he hid him in a cupboard.