To ask when you’ve experienced white privilege

[Whitepriv]

Sadly I know I have. In East London at a high rise, was checking into an Airbnb and couldn’t find the lockbox despite instruction so was looking extremely dodgy, looking under lots of the block of flats windowsills. There’s a young black man hanging out a few metres from me smoking a cig.

Police come by and ask me if I could do with any help and if I’m okay. I tell them that I’m fine but thank you. In less than a minute, I see the same police moving on the young black man for hanging around outside the flats, with a ‘you can’t loiter here’. Sad 😞

I think like others, as a white person it's just lived. I notice it when I see overt examples of racism.

Having said that, one area I have noticed it working in the city is how whenever I have had colleagues who are not white, they always dress better, are more professional, more perfect etc. It took me a long time to realise that it was because a) they have to 100x better than a white colleague in the same way that a woman has to be so much better than a man and 2) it's because the smallest "fault" will have people reverting to stereotypes. I can get away with looking a bit scruffy occasionally or not always wearing a perfect suit but they can't because it will be held against them.

Similarly, the super smart black male team assistant w had when I worked for an investment bank. He was studying law. But for him to get into banking, he had to come be our assistant (Not front office). But I have met many interns, juniors etc who had front office opportunities while studying or who didn't even need that experience as they could just get internships post qualification. He did go onto a great job in investment banking, bu4t I just can't help thinking how much harder he had to work than a whit4 male student would have had to.

Just to clarify, dressing is one example. But when I said more perfect I meant in terms of job performance. I can get away with the odd mistake. A white man gets away with lots of mistakes. But their work has to be perfect every single time.

I'm white, male and have a 'posh' accent, although from a lower-middle class background.

I'm relatively bright but extremely lazy, particularly in work (and previously, studies).

I'm a successful professional with a well-paying job. I've never looked hard for work, and keep being handed great opportunities. I seem to avoid scrutiny for my poor work ethic and general sloppiness.

I cant think of a one-off incident where my privilege was obvious, however, I'm either extremely lucky or society is rigged in my favour.

Stompy:

I am mixed race, Asian father white mother and white partner. We all found that comment rude, ignorant and inflammatory.
My parents have endured 60 years of prejudice for being in a mixed race relationship. Through my younger years I experienced racism from both sides. I wasn't dark enough for the Asians at my school who called me "white trash". The white children asked me where I came from and said they "didn't play with smelly pakis"

As I grew up, I thought I'd found some sort of peace, with a friendship circle of different races.

If somebody had said "Jc black/Indian people are so thick" how would you have taken that?
And I didn't presume the lady's colour either, a racist comment can come from anyone.

Me white, with an Indian friend who needed medical treatment. When the HCP saw me she showed more interest, and once she asked how come we knew each other (I'm sure 2 white people wouldn't have been asked that!) and we answered we'd met at uni, the attitude towards my friend changed instantly. So somehow, having a white friend, and having been to uni made my friend more 'worthy' of decent treatment.

It wasn't obvious enough to make a complaint, but it was definitely there.

My brother and me have the same parents but my brother is black yet I appear white
The amount of times he's been stalked around shopping centres and supermarket whilst I've wandered round left at peace is disgusting.

all the time, especially when living in the Middle East

I think the point is we mostly don,t notice because it,s just there. Someitmes it is obviouse when people are treated differently but often it isn,t.

I can't give a specific example, but I'm certain I have experienced regularly through life. It's often there, and taken for-granted.

Although to counter my previous comment I worked in India back in 2005/6 and as a white working western woman I was treated with contempt by many wealthy older Indian women. They saw me as an unmarried white woman who worked and thought I was a disgrace! It still irks me a little to this very day (FYI I employed 400 Indian men and women at the time. Yeah, how awful was I!)

When I lived in the UAE I couldn't believe how openly racist it was. It's open knowledge that different races of people were paid differently for exactly the same jobs.

The nannies / maids also wanted to work for American or European families rather than Middle Eastern or Asian.

I’m finding it very interesting- all those people who holiday in the UAE yet posting about slavery and racism.

Willing to bet people still flock there after all this...

Every time I go to the shops and am not followed by security.
Every time I leave my home and don't have to face any comments about my skin colour.
Every time I apply for a job and I am more likely to get it than a BAME person with the same skill set because am white.
Every time am not stopped and searched by police when out at night in a white area or a posh area.

ImStillBreathingButBarely2
1- this happens to groups of white teenagers, statistically more crimes are carried out by a BAME person, perhaps that’s the reason the guard is more on their toes, does it alter on the colour of the guard?
2- have you tried walking through a mainly BAME area as a white woman?
3- You have no proof of that and the BAME have more job rights than whites
4- they to not get stopped all the time, I refer to my previous answer re crime,

I was working in America at a summer camp a few years ago. One night I was the designated driver for a group of counsellors who were going to a bar. On our way back, I got pulled over by the police because I had accidentally skipped a red light. He asked to see my licence, I looked in my bag and I couldn’t find it (I later discovered I had accidentally left it back in the UK). I got a very mild telling off from the police officer, who told me it was unacceptable that I didn’t know the rules of the road and that I was driving without a licence on me. And then I was sent on my way, no warning or anything. Literally just a very mild slap on the wrist.

Imagine if I had been black? I doubt I would have been treated with anything like that leniency.

SadSisters Then again perhaps you would have, not every cop is a bad cop, perhaps you were very helpful to them, gave the answers they wanted, no criminal record, no history of violence with an arm weapon,

The very essence of white privilege is not having to think about how my race will impact my life on a daily basis.

@MeglaFlop

Oh good, more of these bullshit posts...

Lots of examples of embellishment, bullshit, irelivence and utter non issues but very few examples of so called white privileged. London is one if the most multicultural cities in the world, try living where discrimination truly exists.

Yes but they didn’t stop the woman attacking my friend for complaining about the man grinding on her. Or the time the same friend offered to help an elderly woman carry her heavy bags down the stairs to be hit and then the same woman ask me for help (I most certainly didn’t help her). Or the amount of times I’ve seen elderly black women left standing on the tube, funnily the elderly white women get offered a seat. Since it’s been pointed out to me, I see it on the tubes every time I get on one.

@Hester54

ImStillBreathingButBarely2 1- this happens to groups of white teenagers, statistically more crimes are carried out by a BAME person, perhaps that’s the reason the guard is more on their toes, does it alter on the colour of the guard? 2- have you tried walking through a mainly BAME area as a white woman? 3- You have no proof of that and the BAME have more job rights than whites 4- they to not get stopped all the time, I refer to my previous answer re crime,

Number 1 is nonsense, you’re using statistics to try to prove your racist agenda. In London specifically, there are more ethnic minorities in deprived areas which in turn have more crime. That doesn’t mean that BAME people commit more crimes but it does prove they are more likely to be victims of crimes. The biggest issue is that people are surrounded by prejudice so that can affect how BAME people feel about each other as well. Look at the reporting of this weekends riots, it was a scuffle and very little reporting of the attacks on police. Weekend before loads of reporting on the few isolated violent incidents which may not have been BLM protestors. Number 2, have you tried being a BAME woman? Number 3, there is more proof that BAME people are more likely to be turned down for jobs then there is white people being turned around. A colleague sent out the same application form in her name and in a friends. The English name got an interview, her ethnic name didn’t meet the shortlist. This isn’t anecdotal, there are studies that prove this. Number 4 why then during the 80’s when it was Irish terrorism that was an issue did stop and search of Black men increase?

Well, I'm European and at my first job, my boss uses to refer to me as 'The immigrant' when speaking to my colleagues about me. The day after Brexit vote went public, she came into the office in the morning, cake up to me and said Something what are your plans now? I guess it's time to go back to your own country?'

At a job interview about a year ago,it was husband and wife interviewing me (it was their business) and at the end the bloke said 'well, ideally, we would like to hire someone with a British Passport but we will get back to you if we don't find anyone'. I was gobsmacked. The job was literally everything I have done in my previous roles and was very experienced and qualified in.

@iwishiknewthatbefore

Well, I'm European and at my first job, my boss uses to refer to me as 'The immigrant' when speaking to my colleagues about me. The day after Brexit vote went public, she came into the office in the morning, cake up to me and said Something what are your plans now? I guess it's time to go back to your own country?'

At a job interview about a year ago,it was husband and wife interviewing me (it was their business) and at the end the bloke said 'well, ideally, we would like to hire someone with a British Passport but we will get back to you if we don't find anyone'. I was gobsmacked. The job was literally everything I have done in my previous roles and was very experienced and qualified in.

My friends who are BAME tell very similar tales, even though they and their parents were born here. One friend was living in one of the Home Counties at the time of the Brexit vote and experienced people actively telling her was she looking forward to going home when Brexit happened. She was born in the Home Counties. I'm not saying that it is right that you experienced it.

SoVeryLost

No racist agenda, just telling you the facts, just because they are from deprived areas doesn’t mean they have to commit crimes, it’s not compulsory,
No I haven’t tried being a BAME, not PC these days
Would a BAME boss give a job to a white person in a manly non white work force?

@PolarBearOverThere
You've articulated well what many have struggled to say and I expect that reading it will cause the discomfort you have described. Hopefully a lot of people will be doing the honest introspection that is needed.

"it's present in the job that I have that I can safely assume my performance will be judged just on my performance, not my race or who I am as a person"
Can I add - white privilege is not having to rely on the groundswell of activism and honest discourse arising out of tragic circumstances to have credibility given to the possibility that your work performance may be judged negatively because of your race.