To ask when you’ve experienced white privilege

[Whitepriv]

Sadly I know I have. In East London at a high rise, was checking into an Airbnb and couldn’t find the lockbox despite instruction so was looking extremely dodgy, looking under lots of the block of flats windowsills. There’s a young black man hanging out a few metres from me smoking a cig.

Police come by and ask me if I could do with any help and if I’m okay. I tell them that I’m fine but thank you. In less than a minute, I see the same police moving on the young black man for hanging around outside the flats, with a ‘you can’t loiter here’. Sad 😞

I can think of a few times.
A friend was complaining to me when I was about 20 years old that her husband wasn't being called back for jobs. She confided in me that she thought it was racism (he has a Nigerian name) no, no, it cant be that.
No. There must be some other reason.
The same company put a job advertisement up on their facebook page, turns out it was the same job he had applied for. Friend was infuriated. Still in my naivete I'm certain it cant be racism , tell him to re apply for the job, and tell him to send me his CV. I changed the name and contact details and sent it off. I got a call within about 15 minutes about the job. I wish I'd never have done that because it never entered my mind that the situation would have ended the way it did.

Friend confronted them on their facebook, and honestly I was shocked at how quickly the "angry black woman" bullshit was thrown around. There were no denials, just complete nastiness and its stuck with me.

I'm also aware of how quickly things go wrong for black people. There are all manner of situations I've been in that black people would often not have the same outcome with.
I grew up around a lot of black people, I've heard how many have been stopped and a routine traffic stop ends with them being searched and their car ransacked. That's never happened to me. I look dodgy because I'm a generally anxious person. I've never had grief from police.

I don't get followed around by security in shops.

A long time ago my partner and a few of his friends (non white and not born in the uk so had accents) where looking for flats. They told me they had found a great one and signed the contract. When I went to visit it was a shit hole. They explained it was by far the nicest they’d seen. I had flat hunted in the exact same area with my friends (all white British born) a couple of months earlier and knew the market and the costs. It was the first time I realised that people were treated so obviously differently.
Hopefully now with the internet flat hunting is more transparent so there is less room for that kind of prejudice.

Yes you're right @Andpiglettoo, only the overt occasions are memorable, and that's privilege in itself.

They're examples of white privilege aka racism that you're aware of as a white person. They happen all the time to black people but White people aren't aware of them.

It's being upgraded because you're white

I don't know why white has a capital W in that post but I really wish it didn't

I've had a few purchasing incidents - so nude /flesh colour invaribaly means it my colour. The plasters i get from the schools suppliers only come in one colour. Going to buy new baby cards i noticed s huge variety of them depicted a white babies. , i tried to get a nativity playset that was a bit more realistltic to jews of Nazareth. Ended up with natural wooden sets as wood isnt a people colour. 90% of the books in the school library reflected my childrens skin tone and culture. Its endless. I mostly dont notice it.

Interesting thread. I am going to offer a slightly different perspective - I am half white English half West Indian. I look mostly WI, curly black hair dark skin, as dark as Lenny Henry. I live in an small English county town. I haven’t noticed racism towards me personally since I was a youngster, a teen. I don’t know what assumptions people might make when they see me, but as soon as I open my mouth and they hear my RP accent it is like class supersedes race - it, together with self effacing politeness always gets me excellent service. 😂

Every single day since I was born.

With an added dose of class and economic privilege thanks to university educated parents who have had secure jobs their entire lives.

Hundreds and thousands of tiny (and not so tiny) differences and advantages that add up to a whole load of privilege.

We're both white (Italian) but my brother gets his bag searched almost every time we fly. He's typically olived skinned and has a beard, I'm much paler and look more English or German than Italian.

The most blantent example was when Asian DH and I went to Wimbledon to watch the tennis. I had a very cursory bag check at the door while the man made friendly small talk at the door. DH had his bag emptied out and the pockets checked carefully etc.

I don't know if its because I'm white, or because I'm a small woman but elderly people always chat to me at bus stops/ask me for directions etc.

@wigornian
Yes that’s very interesting, whether class or having money affects people’s attitudes too.

Other side of the coin.
I'm a white, mature, UK female.
Going through security at Dallas/Fort Worth airport, I was treated appallingly by a young black male security guard.

I asked why I had to remove my shoes when his colleague (white) had already said I didn't need to. "Because I fucking ordered you to. Don't think being white gives you privilege here".
Confronted with a gun , I removed my shoes.

I think people with decent mind do realise it. It's always there. If they say no such thing, they are deluded or in denial.

Surely the white privilege here is that you saw the police questioning a black person for no real reason and did absolutely nothing about it.

I once had a friend whose family was originally from Nigeria who could not get a job interview for love nor money -same qualification as me. Eventually he changed his name by deed poll to Montague X ( the X being something very British) -funnily enough the same interviews came thick and fast then........

After the referendum a few people were assuming my ethnicity and having a go and at others who didn't look British to them. I dyed my hair after a few days, because I'd planned too hasten to add, and it stopped towards me, not others. At that point it hit home for me, a different hair colour and idiots stopped, but POC cannot do this. It makes me rage still tbh.

We had a similar school incident to one mentioned by a PP, though it turned out to be an older sibling of the child in the school. Backpack and phone and skin colour = wrong and dodgy whereas I can rock up there with a backpack and phone and no one bats an eyelid.

No never

All the time every day?

Some examples - when I'm not afraid to walk past a police officer, when I am taken seriously when I report my symptoms in a hospital, in having a senior job in my profession, when I don't have to talk to my dc about how they shouldn't stand up for themselves in some situations in order to stay safe.

I shared a flat with a black woman at University. The same corner shop whose owner and family used to follow her around in case she pinched something would like me take alcohol on credit. She nearly got arrested in the aftermath of a racially aggravated fight (she was entirely the victim) until I intervened. I saw plenty of people cross the road to avoid us...but it never happened when I was alone. In the experiments we carried out, I could get served in bars all over the UK far faster than her. She took me with her to the hairdressers once. I was sat in this flat flicking through magazine after magazine full of skin bleaching adverts, of pictures trying to make women like her look like women like me. It was definitely an eye opening couple of years.

In Mexico, during the six months we stayed there our skin colour opened many doors. Pretty sure we wouldn't have managed to take a car with no number plates from the Caribbean coast to the Pacific and back without white skin. All the police and soldiers were unfailingly polite and friendly even we were caught breaking the law (speeding). In fact even when I was caught out in a bare faced law (pretending I understood and spoke zero Spanish), there were no consquences. We talked to black tourists in bars/cafes and their experiences painted a very different picture. They for the most part felt compelled to stay in resort areas whereas we went where we wanted. The car broke down on a toll road so we called Mexican version of the AA, the guy pretty much manhandled me under the underpass yelling at me that I'd ruin my skin, that I'd go black and then told dh off for not looking after me better.

I have ptsd and had postpartum psychosis after dc1. At no point have social services been involved and neither have I ever been sectioned despite attempting to leave ds in NICU because I though he was a doll. From listening to other women's experiences, my skin colour (and class) played a part there too.

I think so, I'm guessing even racists don't feel threatened by BAME teenage boys if they are wearing private school uniform and carrying musical instrument cases.

(I have 2 mixed race boys, I worry about people being scared of them when they are teenagers)

I reject the concept entirely. An absence of opression is not a privilige. It is everyone's right.

It's every day of our life OP - if you are white. It's not about specific incidences, but a general open door. It's more about if you've never... e.g. if you've never been stopped entry into a club due to the colour of your skin, or stopped and searched then that is privilege. If you've never even stopped to think about this then its the definition of white privilege. It doesn't mean having specific moments when you got lucky, but a general overall life chance.

I think the whole point about white privilege is that if you’re white, you barely notice it (I’m white) and if you’re not, it’s a relentless series of micro-aggressions - and on up the scale of racism. Once you’re aware, you notice it all the time. And it’s a huge huge problem.

Sorry the thread has moved on, I meant about class/money affecting things.

Actually I can’t think of a single moment in my life where I’ve been aware of experiencing it. Yet I’ve obviously experienced it and benefitted from it every hour, minute and second I’ve been alive.

Everyday. Never been stopped and searched, or pulled over driving at night, can walk round a supermarket without being watched, walk home at night without people feeling I'm up to no good etc etc