This makes me feel so sad *triggering*

[MadameBee]

So I have struggled in lockdown with some issues from my past and I am taking steps to confront them (in a safe way).

I have blocked out a lot of stuff.

I just did a FB search on the man I first had sex with.

I have realised that while I was 14, he was 21.

I remember afterwards (we were in a theatre group) people judging me for this.

I feel so fucking furious.

You have every right to be furious.
He was an adult taking advantage of a child. You were under the age of consent and therefore incapable of giving consent.
I'm sorry this happened to you.

Thank you.

He hasn’t aged well 🤣

This started 6 years of hell.

Yep it is disgusting but not unusual unfortunately depending on your age, I think there would be more of it if it wasn't frowned upon these days. I went out with a 23y.o when I was 15, my younger sister 14 lost her virginity to his older brother.

Yeah the 90s.

I went out with a 26 yr old aged 16 - and my parents were fine with it

He was a predator. You're right to feel this way.

That's horrible OP. I'm not surprised it started 6 years of hell.

He was obviously a predator. Take it easy with thinking about it though. I'd be surprised if you don't "bump into" other memories with or related to him that aren't comfortable.

I was then passed around a load of other much older men. Some in their 40s and labelled a slag.

I’m so sorry you went through this.
You were exploited, they are lower than scum, you can report it but that’s entirely your choice, I hope you are ok

That is so sad but absolutely not your fault. You were a child who was exploited.

Sorry posted too soon. I think your parents being fine with you having a relationship with a 26 yr old are a big part of the problem. Sounds like they normalised child abuse and made you vulnerable.

Are you able to go the police about this? He has had sex with a minor. It is illegal.
You have every right to feel the way you do.

Jesus OP your update those evil bastards exploited you.