Pissed off at boss for sharing my pregnancy news?

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Long story short I had to tell my director I was pregnant as soon as I found out at 4 weeks. We are in a office, not social distancing. I was to finish that week and furloughed for my own safety and my colleague returned as I went.

I work 11 other people (pre-covid), it’s a small office.

Aside from my director and the only 2 other members of staff who are not furloughed (they would think it’s just bizzare for me to suddenly go on furlough and would suspect straight away), I have not told a sole at work.

Yet, that day (Monday - I wasn’t going on furlough until the Friday) during my directors weekly ‘catch up’ with the furloughed lot she told 3 of my colleagues, who wouldn’t have known I was on furlough anyway as they aren’t there either, so just telling for the sake of gossip I suppose. Queue the messages of congratulations.. great I’m 4 weeks pregnant and the cats out the bag already...

I’m sorry if I haven’t explained very well but I’ve just had a FB message from another work colleague ‘a little birdy tells me you’ve got some amazing news?!’ - it’s just kinda pushed me over the edge. I dunno if she heard it from one of the others or she’s back in the office.. no idea. I haven’t replied yes as I’m just pissed off.

Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones.. maybe I got out of bed on the wrong side... but I really felt like it was my news to tell. It’s also my first baby.

Some of my colleagues knew I had been trying for a while, so wouldn’t necessarily have been surprised, I would have just wanted to have told them personally. Not through gossip...

AIBU to be annoyed about people sharing my good, highly personal news? I have an 8 week scan on Saturday so was going to start telling work people then.. but I just can’t be fucking bothered, the others probably already know! 😕

So basically of the 11 people I work with, 7 of them already know.. and I’ve only told 3 of those people myself

You don't need pregnancy hormones to be pissed off at that.

I would be clearly and calmly be explaining that this was unacceptable to me to the person concerned.

I had the exact same situation when I was pregnant(not during Covid though) , so annoyed that my boss told the whole office. One thing I learned through that pregnancy and something for general life I guess is that if you tell someone something you have no power over where it goes, if they tell others etc.

I'd be fucking furious, I'd be having very strong words with them

Glad to I’m not making a mountain out of a molehill then.,.
Those who thought I am being unreasonable, how am I being so?

My boss did this to me, in a different way, I was also severely pissed off. I worked for a small company that had 2 bosses. I had to tell one of them before I wanted to, because she was being difficult about me having time off for my booking appointment and 12 week scan. She told me she'd keep it to herself until I was ready to tell the others but asked if it was ok to tell the other partner, so of course I said yes, given than they were equal partners in the business and both my bosses. The next day, I was standing in the corridor bit outside the 3 other offices and she came towards me shouting "I believe congratulations are in order!" All the office doors were open. When I did announce it after my scan, they all said they'd heard her saying it but hadn't liked to say anything to me 🙈

You could contact your HR department/representative and explain that your director has been spreading the details of your private health records to fellow colleagues, how do they intend to deal with that and leave it in their hands.

It will make things uncomfortable for your relationship with your director I imagine though.

So your boss shared your personal medical details with the rest of the office without getting your permission.
I would NOT be happy about that.

Just to be clear, it was the other partner who bellowed it, not the one who promised to keep it to herself!

Your boss is an idiot.

Have a word with them and explain that:

1. Until a woman is 12 weeks pregnant regardless of who you are you don't tell anyone else they are pregnant as the chances of miscarriage are extremely high in the first trimester
2. As someone in their position, they should not be sharing any staff member's medical information with other members of staff.

Then ask for an apology.

Unfortunately people like that only learn when they are taken to an employment tribunal.

Sorry to hear 4 people have been told your personal news especially as it so early
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly

Tribunal is bit harsh, try a stiff ticking off first, hopefully they will be mortified
I'm picturing a young child free man ...people make mistakes at work all the time ... learning curves everyday, just as long as they apologise

I'd be pissed off with that. Yanbu

I had to tell my (male) boss when I went off sick at 6 weeks pregnant. He told absolutely nobody why and I know that for a fact because the 3 people I worked closest with had no idea till I told them at 12 weeks (not great actors so I'm 100% sure) Your boss didn't have to tell anyone and actually it's a disciplinary offence if you want to raise a grievance.

I reported it when my head of department did similar, he got a talking to by senior management. We work in the nhs as well so you'd think he'd know better than to share someone's private medical information.

You are not being unreasonable at all to be pissed off. Go to HR.

So your boss shared your personal medical details with the rest of the office without getting your permission.

Exactly this. Your medical details - which includes your pregnancy - are protected under the GDPR and the Data Protection Act 2018. Your boss had no right to tell your colleagues that you were pregnant, unless you had given explicit permission for this to happen.

I would email and say that you are very upset and disappointed that your personal medical information has been shared without your permission. Explain that the only reason you had shared this information was because of your vulnerability, and that this did not mean that the firm had permission to tell other people. And that this constitutes a data breach under the GDPR, and you would like it logged as a complaint and would appreciate the firm's response at its earliest convenience.

In the meantime, if colleagues approach you, I would be quite upfront with the fact that you had shared this information in confidence and that they are not supposed to know about it.

some posters seem to have no idea about working in a small organisation.
This is not to excuse the lack of discretion - but talk of HR departments or discipliniary procedures against a co-owner aren't particularly realistic.
Hope that all goes well with your upcoming scan

The cunt bloke I was working for last year told my recruitment consultant about my pregnancy. Weirdly, once that contract ended, she didn’t seem particularly interested in helping me find another.

My boss and his boss knew about my pregnancy as I needed time to get to an emergency appointment. I was about 9 weeks. Not a word was mentioned until I announced to colleagues weeks later.

Definitely not on to share other peoples medical issues without permission.

personal medical details
private health records (!)
. What an overwrought overreaction...

This requires a very calm and cool conversation, because anything else and you will be dismissed and "hormonal" and "irrational". But I would explain that she was told of private information for operational reasons due to covid and that she had no right to disclose that information to everyone.
Speak in your calm, quietly angry voice.

@Thisismytimetoshine what makes you think that OP's pregnancy isn't a private medical detail about her?

@Nofunkingworriesmate

Tribunal is bit harsh, try a stiff ticking off first, hopefully they will be mortified I'm picturing a young child free man ...people make mistakes at work all the time ... learning curves everyday, just as long as they apologise

Try a 58 year old woman. Whose daughter had a miscarriage before a healthy pregnancy.

I'm pregnant and only my boss knows and I would be pissed off if she told the team. I haven't told them yet for many reasons and
It should be kept confidential same as you

Peoples pregnancies have a huge impact on other people's lives and jobs. Personally of course it's not your news to tell but when you've got half the company pissed off about favourable treatment what do you say?

I've just had one announce she's pregnant. She's one of 3 and using it to not return to work, and now another has decided he's not travelling to work either. Will the business survive? Who knows. What I do know is they think the magic pixies will do their work.

If one persons absence means others peoples lives become a misery then being vague about 'medical reasons' or offering no explanation at all probably not enough to stop others being upset.

I'd love to see you take that one to tribunal too. It's not quite as easy as you think it is, unless you want to spend a lot of money on a solicitor and barrister.

Let it go. Youve just created a world of pain, and in these times, business uncertainty for your boss. They are no doubt trying to plaster a smile on while having sleepless nights.