Pissed off at boss for sharing my pregnancy news?

[SkylinesTurnstiles]

Long story short I had to tell my director I was pregnant as soon as I found out at 4 weeks. We are in a office, not social distancing. I was to finish that week and furloughed for my own safety and my colleague returned as I went.

I work 11 other people (pre-covid), it’s a small office.

Aside from my director and the only 2 other members of staff who are not furloughed (they would think it’s just bizzare for me to suddenly go on furlough and would suspect straight away), I have not told a sole at work.

Yet, that day (Monday - I wasn’t going on furlough until the Friday) during my directors weekly ‘catch up’ with the furloughed lot she told 3 of my colleagues, who wouldn’t have known I was on furlough anyway as they aren’t there either, so just telling for the sake of gossip I suppose. Queue the messages of congratulations.. great I’m 4 weeks pregnant and the cats out the bag already...

I’m sorry if I haven’t explained very well but I’ve just had a FB message from another work colleague ‘a little birdy tells me you’ve got some amazing news?!’ - it’s just kinda pushed me over the edge. I dunno if she heard it from one of the others or she’s back in the office.. no idea. I haven’t replied yes as I’m just pissed off.

Maybe it’s pregnancy hormones.. maybe I got out of bed on the wrong side... but I really felt like it was my news to tell. It’s also my first baby.

Some of my colleagues knew I had been trying for a while, so wouldn’t necessarily have been surprised, I would have just wanted to have told them personally. Not through gossip...

AIBU to be annoyed about people sharing my good, highly personal news? I have an 8 week scan on Saturday so was going to start telling work people then.. but I just can’t be fucking bothered, the others probably already know! 😕

i would at least say to her u didnt appreicate her telling everyone if you dont want to go higher-it wasnt her place

That's completely illegal.

Working from home, not move me into the main office as planed.
Literally furlough was the last thing on my mind. I thought I was running a tight ship. Director furloughed me ‘for my own safety’.
This thread doesn’t have anything to do with my furlough anyway..

Sue the bloody arse off them, get compensation.
They need to operate within the law or it will cost them.
Unless of course you like the job nd want to stay.

I guess ultimately I am upset that I am not going to get to share news of my first baby with my colleagues/close friends myself and that the opportunity was taken away from me.

I guess ultimately I am upset that I am not going to get to share news of my first baby with my colleagues/close friends myself and that the opportunity was taken away from me.
🙄

@thisismytimetoshine
Thank you for your input, if you could just now stop that would be great. I don’t appreciate your latest response. It took a while for me to get where I am now so please respect my feelings- you are within your right to disagree, but I just feel you’re trying to get a rise out of me now.

@SkylinesTurnstiles

I guess ultimately I am upset that I am not going to get to share news of my first baby with my colleagues/close friends myself and that the opportunity was taken away from me.

While that is one thing to be sad at, the bigger picture is that you are still very early days and there could be complications. You are early days so there is a lot of time for projects to be taken away from you and your role subtly change. Above everything else, she was unprofessional.

@sillysmiles
Well yeah, I posted the below further back in the thread:
I guess what annoyed me the most is if anything were to happen, I would have to return to work, not pregnant and have to explain why to a roomful of people who could have been blissfully unaware

I think you have every right to be upset OP.
This was your news to tell when you felt the time was right.

A similar thing happened to me in my workplace.

I had, after a situation in work pushed me towards a nervous breakdown decided to resign.

I wanted to wait until I’d processed the feelings myself before telling my work colleagues. Only to find my news was the latest gossip amongst the people causing my distress on the shop floor.

@SkylinesTurnstiles I am agreeing with you, I don't think it is trivial, and I think you can be upset by multiple things at once.

posted too soon..

But I don't think you should let it slide. And I think you say it directly to the person involved.

I'd be pissed off. I was incredibly annoyed when my manager chose to tell the entire team I had a miscarriage.
It's not their news to tell but I'm not sure what you can do about it.

Omg you are me but about 8 months ago. I told my boss ASAP at like 4 weeks, because I worked nights in a dementia ward, I have history of miscarriage.
By the next day everyone I worked with as well as all 40 of our residents (dementia and non dementia) had been told about it :/ oh and some of the patients decided to tell the district nurses so by 6 weeks half of the NHS knew too 👍