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Original poster

Can I have a handhold please

110 replies

GruffBelow · 04/06/2020 09:39

I know in the grand scheme of things going on in the world right now, this seems minor. But, we have to have our dog put down in an hour and it’s just tipped me over the edge.

2020 has been a bad year for many of us. It started off with a late miscarriage at the end of January for me. I was 20 weeks. Then all the Covid stuff happened and I lost two close relatives in the space of a few weeks, in May. One was elderly but the other one was in her 50s with no underlying conditions, so that was a massive shock. Now this.

I know it’s been coming, he was a large breed and almost 13 so he had a good innings. I don’t know why but this has hit me even harder than everything else. I don’t know if it’s just the straw that broke the camels back. He was honestly the best dog and my best friend really. I work in a very dog friendly place so he came into work with me every day and was nearly always with me. Every day for almost 13 years. He went on holidays with us, was there when I had all the dc, he even pre-dates dh!

I just feel like giving up today. I’m going to miss him so much. The dc are devastated and been crying all morning. They’re all primary age and don’t really understand why he won’t be back. To make things worse because of covid, we can’t go into the vet so I can’t even stay with him. I have to leave him outside.

It’s just shit. Everything’s just so shit right now

OP posts:
Fluffybutter · 04/06/2020 13:54

I am so , so , sorry to read this .
Things like this break my heart .
Sending lots of strength to you ..and quite a few hugs

harriethoyle · 04/06/2020 13:56

I am so so sorry to hear this - I lost both my boys within 3 weeks just before lockdown and it has honestly been the worst experience of my life. My vet said to me that helping them on their way was the last and best act of love I could give them and that's meant a lot over the last few months. Huge unmumsnetty hugs for you Wine

Original poster
GruffBelow · 04/06/2020 13:59

@Straycatstrut

We went through this in lockdown with our dog of 16 years. My Grandad died a couple of weeks before it started, and the death of our family dog hit me harder I'll admit it. I'm incredibly introvert and socially awkward though. There through all my horrific teenage years for cuddles, before ex, after ex. Huge refreshing adventures on the moorlands. Just always there with a lovely friendly face and massive appreciation for the slightest bit of attention. She had kidney failure and wasn't eating and she was so so sad. You could see it in her eyes she just wanted the end. There is a hole in my heart and always will be. It's been 5 weeks now, barely feels like a day. It's easier than the first couple of days when I was in huge sobbing floods on and off, but she just pops into my head randomly and automatic tears. I just think - long life, beautiful countryside walks every day, beach holidays. What more could a dog want from a pup to the end? I'm sure yours had the exact same love.

Big virtual hand-hold. I know exactly what you're going through. It's totally okay and understandable to feel like this and make sure you let it all out xx

Thank you for this. I’ve been looking back over pictures. Last year we went away for the summer to a beautiful welsh cottage and he had the time of his life. Beach walks, mountain walks, lots of delicious food and cuddles.

Part of me is actually grateful that because of lockdown, all of us got to spend the last few months with him, every single day. He got so many cuddles from the kids, as well as unlimited bacon from their plates! He was a happy boy. He even managed a little swim in his favourite lake last weeks so I’m confident he went happy.

Thank you again to everyone who has commented.

Honestly, this thread shows mumsnet at its finest. So much support, you’ll never understand how grateful I am for it right now. Thank you so much everyone xx

OP posts:
Giggorata · 04/06/2020 14:09

I'm sure you're already on it, but do keep an eye on your other dog, who is grieving too.
Our dog went into a deep depression when we lost our old boy. He might have coped better if we were both at home, I don't know... anyway, we ended up buying a him a puppy, which gave him a new lease of life.

LakieLady · 04/06/2020 14:48

It is the hardest thing, but it's also the last act of kindness you can do for a much-loved pet that is suffering.

I'm sure your boy loved you as much as you loved him, OP.

And I've got tears in my eyes now because I know my lovely lakeland, 15 next month, won't be with us much longer. She's deaf as a post and her eyesight's very poor, but she still loves her food, a cuddle and a snuffle round the garden or a stroll round the block. We've been through so much together, I'll miss her terribly.

My heart goes out to you, OP, it truly does.

TheAdventuresoftheWishingChair · 04/06/2020 14:50

I just wanted to send you Flowers too. What a rubbish and horrible time you're having.

Cam2020 · 04/06/2020 14:51

It sounds like your lovely boy had a wonderful few months, full of love and attention and you will really treasure the time you were able to spend with him.

we ended up buying a him a puppy, which gave him a new lease of life.
This is one of the sweetest things I've ever read.

Milnes94 · 04/06/2020 14:57

So sorry, it’s hard losing a pet. When We lost our Dane she left a huge hole in our lives.

HellSmith · 04/06/2020 15:11

I feel your pain GB 🌹 It was like I'd lost a brother when we had to have our dog put down 😢

bilbodog · 04/06/2020 15:24

So sorry and big hugs to you all 💐💐💐

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