Can I have a handhold please

[GruffBelow]

I know in the grand scheme of things going on in the world right now, this seems minor. But, we have to have our dog put down in an hour and it’s just tipped me over the edge.

2020 has been a bad year for many of us. It started off with a late miscarriage at the end of January for me. I was 20 weeks. Then all the Covid stuff happened and I lost two close relatives in the space of a few weeks, in May. One was elderly but the other one was in her 50s with no underlying conditions, so that was a massive shock. Now this.

I know it’s been coming, he was a large breed and almost 13 so he had a good innings. I don’t know why but this has hit me even harder than everything else. I don’t know if it’s just the straw that broke the camels back. He was honestly the best dog and my best friend really. I work in a very dog friendly place so he came into work with me every day and was nearly always with me. Every day for almost 13 years. He went on holidays with us, was there when I had all the dc, he even pre-dates dh!

I just feel like giving up today. I’m going to miss him so much. The dc are devastated and been crying all morning. They’re all primary age and don’t really understand why he won’t be back. To make things worse because of covid, we can’t go into the vet so I can’t even stay with him. I have to leave him outside.

It’s just shit. Everything’s just so shit right now

Just wanted to say how sorry I am, OP. You are losing a beloved family member and I know from personal experience how hard it is.

Huge sympathy - it’s so awful, isn’t it, even when you know you’re doing the best and kindest thing.
We lost both dog and cat within 6 weeks, after having them both for over 14 years. The vet did come to the house for both, so we were fortunate in that. But the day ddog was put down was the first anniversary of 9/11 - it was all over the news, and all I could think was, the vet’s coming at 3.15.

DDog was on the front lawn in the sun when she arrived - she managed to feebly wag her tail on seeing her. I felt so awful.
Sending 💐❤️.

I'm so sorry for your heartbreak. Soon you will only smile when you think of him, but for now it's ok to cry (as much as you need to).

Sorry about your poor old dog. Grieving a pet is heart breaking.

I'm so sorry OP it is incredibly tough . We had to say goodbye to our old boy a month ago and the vet was able to put him to sleep in the back of our car. This on top of everything else you've been through is heartbreaking but soon you will be able to remember the happy times with DDog

So sorry for you and the year you are having!
My heart really goes out to you and your family.

I lost my cat by being hit by a car about 10 years ago now and I miss him so much, no cat can replace him!

I'm so, so sorry

Oh that’s so sad, I’m so sorry for your loss, it would’ve been difficult at the best of times never mind in the current situation.
The hardest thing for you was the kindest thing for him. I hope the grief eases quickly and the good memories last forever.xxx

I'm so very sorry

Sending lots of love

I'm so sorry OP.
You deserve a good run from now and I hope things get better for you

I'm so pleased you got to be with him in the end.

I'm so sorry for your loss

So sorry. You are doing the right thing, however heartbreaking it is. Losing a dear pet is devastating.

So pleased you were able to hold him. It's the best way to go; calmly, in the arms of someone who loves you. I wonder if he was looking at you, hoping you would do something to help him. You have.

My sympathies to you.

I'm glad you were able to be with him at the end. They take such a huge part of our hearts with them - we had to say goodbye to our beautiful old boy last year and I still miss him terribly

They break your heart when they go.

I don’t know why but this has hit me even harder than everything else.

I think the grief for a pet is often unlike other types of grief (not worse, just different) because it is often such a simple, uncomplicated relationship we have with them that the grief flows freely and uninhibited by complex memories etc. Even the family/freinds we love totally and without issue often still are part of more complex experiences which can 'get in the way' of the grief a bit.

With pets, we love them totally without holding back for fear of being hurt or rejected or disappointing them etc, so we grieve for them in a similar way.

Plus the year has been so hard for you that this may well just feel like the final straw.

Treat yourself like you would treat a close friend going through the same thing - with understanding and patience and compassion.

So very sorry for you, OP. Your story made me cry too, bringing back memories of our lovely dog who we lost 2 1/2 years ago. I still miss her terribly. It is a horrible thing to go through. Look after yourself.

I am still so affected by the loss of my two (and the cat earlier this year) that I can't even read through the thread. I've just popped on to the end here to give you a big hug and let you know that your big lad may be gone but he will never truly leave your heart.

My children and I can now reminisce about the fun we had with them. It's been four years (almost to the day) since big lad went, followed by the terrier eighteen months later and I still only have to read those letters pts and I cry for them all over again.

Still got the world's most dreadful dog though, side-eyeing me as I write and cry. It gets better and you will never forget them.

I'm so glad that the vet came out to you. Your beautiful boy was loved so much, I always say it's a privilege for those of us who get to share our lives with a much loved pet.

Sending all the best, and for your family too, enjoy the wine and the memories and let yourself cry.

So sorry love.Absolutely devastating.I take pets passing harder than humans.So I understand.It is more than a cry situation.It is more like a go to the middle of an empty field and scream your heart out situation.x

OP I am so so sorry for the loss of your beloved pooch and your baby and family members and all the other stuff that you have been through this year. I can only echo what others have said in that you have given him a last act of kindness and with so much love. Be kind to yourselves.

This is so sad to read, I am so sorry. It's just awful when we lose a pet and it sounds like you've had a pretty terrible year already. I'm glad you got to be with him at the end xx

Couldn't read and not comment. So sorry for you. We had to let our much loved dog go on 6 April, so know exactly what you are going through. It is utterly heartbreaking. Take care xx

We went through this in lockdown with our dog of 16 years. My Grandad died a couple of weeks before it started, and the death of our family dog hit me harder I'll admit it. I'm incredibly introvert and socially awkward though. There through all my horrific teenage years for cuddles, before ex, after ex. Huge refreshing adventures on the moorlands. Just always there with a lovely friendly face and massive appreciation for the slightest bit of attention. She had kidney failure and wasn't eating and she was so so sad. You could see it in her eyes she just wanted the end. There is a hole in my heart and always will be. It's been 5 weeks now, barely feels like a day. It's easier than the first couple of days when I was in huge sobbing floods on and off, but she just pops into my head randomly and automatic tears. I just think - long life, beautiful countryside walks every day, beach holidays. What more could a dog want from a pup to the end? I'm sure yours had the exact same love.

Big virtual hand-hold. I know exactly what you're going through. It's totally okay and understandable to feel like this and make sure you let it all out xx

Aw, that's not minor at all, your dog is part of your family! Sorry you have to go through this on top of a difficult year