To have challenged her on Facebook

[butwhythough]

A post from someone I used to know years ago moaning about #blacklivesmatter and why it should be #alllivesmatter. I haven't spoken to her for years but have liked new baby and wedding posts on Facebook. I read her moaning post and I felt like I had to say something. I was nice, wished her well and didn't criticise but just shared a picture that I saw which explained the issue with #alllivesmatter. She's now deleted me, which is fine, obviously, but it made me wonder if I should have not commented? Does it make a difference that this is my first proper interaction with her in years? I thought about it for a little while before I did and decided that if I didn't then I would be part of the problem, so I did it as nicely as I could. But should I have just said nothing?

You were right to. Pay no more attention to wondering if you were right to or not. Do it again if you have the chance.

You were right to politely challenge her OP. The problem is hers

Well done for your actions. You've not lost anything, but you've probably made her think. Her reaction simply shows she lacks the awareness to deal with it maturely.

Always challenge these views. We haven't done it enough, it feels uncomfortable but we have to do it. Sounds like her leaving your friends list was a good thing!

It's no loss to me and I probably should have deleted her myself ages ago because we have differing views on many things and she is very vocal about hers. I just wondered whether it was out of order to not have properly interacted with her for years and then the first one was basically a criticism.

You did the right thing. Thank you. We all need to do this. We need to use whatever platform we have to educate.

It was the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter that you hadn’t interacted with her other strongly expressed views. We all have boundaries for what we can tolerate and allow to go unchallenged and she breached yours. We cannot be complicit by our silence. It is racism whether it is dressed up in sanctimonious All Lives Matter posturing or not. All racism needs to be challenged

I’ve challenged someone and been defriended for exactly the same thing and I’ve deleted others who just haven’t got a fucking clue.
One person said to a mutha black friend who also challenged him to “educate me, change my mind”.

You did the right thing, OP. Everyone needs to speak up.

Thanks all. I'm glad I did it.

Some people will refuse to hear you even if you do challenge them. If they are stupid enough to not understand that BLM doesn't mean ONLY BLM then they're probably too stupid to understand why it doesn't.

I think a post explaining why the slogan is BLM instead of ALL lives matter is a good thing to share on social media and hopefully it will get through to some people.

You're lucky she's not in your life and you're just deleted.

I challenged a relative on fb once. I was so angry, I didn't do it as coherently as I would have liked, but she was criticising a woman for speaking out about what happened to her. This was before me too. I saw red. She's been at her absolute NICEST coldly indifferent to me ever since. She's kept it up for a decade! Have to hand it to her, she has her principles and she will not forgive! ;-p

but have liked new baby and wedding posts on Facebook.

ahem... so what?

Threads like yours are just virtue signalling and are just as bad.

@ProsperTheBear

My point was just that liking those posts has been my only interaction with her for years. That's the reason I was concerned I was being unreasonable.

There was certainly no intention to 'virtue signal', I was genuinely wondering whether it was ok to not speak to someone for years and then criticise them. Her deleting me made me question myself.

Is it ok to let something you strongly and morally disagree with? I don't think it is.

Do you genuinely expect a discussion if you question a point made by someone you haven't spoken with in years? Reverse it, if someone you knew years ago starts criticising your post, you'd probably delete them too.

You did absolutely the right thing.

Good for you. Start political arguments on Facebook, expect disagreement. Especially if you're going to do the "all lives matter" shite.

You did the right thing. Now you’ve come to tell MN about it and get a pat on the back for being a hero who fights racism 🤨

So many people at the moment using a genuine fucking problem to self-promote how good they are, rather than actually giving a shit about what’s going on.

Yes, you did the right thing.

Incidentally, please could you share the picture here? I may need it

You saved yourself years of eye-roll related strain.

Reverse it, if someone you knew years ago starts criticising your post, you'd probably delete them too

I wouldn't, I'd either defend what I was saying or maybe think about it and acknowledge that the criticism was justified.

I challenged a relative today and got deleted as a result. Oh well!

It wasn't so much about my response to her on this particular issue, more about the fact that it came off the back of no interaction for 10 years and I was wondering whether it was ok to challenge someone in those circumstances.

@Bundlemuffin

I've had two all lives matter comments on Fb and just didn't have the energy to comment, but one guy did get called out for his post.

Is losing her as a friend on FB really a loss? Probably best you don't stay in touch with someone like that.