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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think little girls in the supermarket should mind their own business???

122 replies

fireflyfairy2 · 21/09/2007 21:35

There we were.

Stressed to the hilt in Tesco this evening.

DD had been OK all the way around, but it was chockers & I could hardly move the trolley.

Now, I'm not one of these parents who actually care what other people buy.. couldn't care less, it's their kids they are feeding, not mine.

Anyway, we stop by the cereal & I throw in a box of shreddies & a box of weetabix. dd asks if she can have 'special' cereal for the weekend. We do this, on the weekday mornings she can have sensible cereals such as shreddies or weetabix but at the weekend she can have something sugary that she wouldn't normally get.

So I said yes, she could have something different. She asked for coco pops. Just at that minute.. dd with cocopops suspended in mid air... we heard a screech..

"Ooooohhh mummy... that little girl is naughty! She is going to be so hyper! Loook mummy, she has that bad breakfast... she will be hyper!!!"

Her mummy said in a voice that I probably wasn't supposed to hear "It's ok pet, she's the one who's teeth is going to fall out!"

I swear.... why the hell do people think they can judge freely?? If they had dared to look at my trolley they would have saw the brown bread, the brown rice, the wholemeal pasta...

Anyway, I said, in as soft a voice as possible, while forcing a smile at the little girl "No, she isn't naughty, she likes this cereal at the weekend as she never eats sweeties. She won't get hyper & she has beautiful teeth"

The mother said flippantly "You're lucky!"

It put me in such a bad mood! And to top it all off, when dd heard the woman say her teeth would fall out, she refused to get the feckin coco pops!!!!

OP posts:
nooka · 21/09/2007 23:09

I'd be narked too. I went on holiday with my sister and family, and seriously upset my bil because I let my kids chose a variety pack for breakfast. He went on and on about hyper kids. My kids do not get high on sugar, and on holiday think they should have a few treats (my grandparents always bought us variety packs when we visited, and I thoguht my sister would like that). The irony was that he then went and bought honey cheerios. Very sweet and Nestle too... I also allow sweet cereals at the weekend - although personally I think they are horrible.

kimi · 21/09/2007 23:14

Oh FF2 just ignore stupid people like this, you should have beaten her to death with her copy of the guardian

My 2 DSs get weetabix, readybrek, shreddies, etc all week but like nesquick at the weekends, both healthy, not hypo and have nice teeth.

kimi · 21/09/2007 23:16

Also I think this woman should teach her children not to be rude jumped up little madams

nooka · 21/09/2007 23:20

I did have role reversal type moment once in a supermarket, when I was looking for something specific (can't remember what or why) and it only came in Nestle, not own brand, and I was grumbing about it to dh. Up sprang some chap who worked for Nestles and had a right old go. He said he would boycot whoever we worked for. Oh how we laughed - I work for the NHS, and dh was at the time a teacher

kidsrus · 21/09/2007 23:22

i have just discovered if i give my ds who is on the celing (most of the time) tango it calms him down.
give him coke he goes through the roof.
his diet consists of:

Breakie: rice krispies (no sugar)
break time: fruit
lunch: school meals
Afternoon snack: ham/jam sandwich with yog & crisps
Evenings:3 veg meat and gravey
as much no sugar squash as he wants throughout the day.
so where do i go wrong?
p.s his weight is 50th centile

nooka · 21/09/2007 23:28

Probably the no sugar squash - what sort of additives etc are in it (have to say I personally hate all squashes except Rock organic, or no additive cordials, so probably hugely biased here). Some children just have a lot of energy!

Pan · 21/09/2007 23:34

Shop assistants should mind their own business too!!

This very evening buying a swimsuit for/with dd (7)

Shop assistant(who is diminutive) - and how old is she?

Me -

handlemecarefully · 21/09/2007 23:58

YABU to think that the little girl in the supermarket should mind her own business - she is only a kid and parroting her parents

It's her obnoxious opinionated mother's fault

BandofMothers · 22/09/2007 10:57

Oh dear. If that had been my DD I would probably have grinned embarrassedly at you and shrugged, like Oh well what can you do while blushing furiously.

Then said sorry.

DD1 is a bugger for parroting what I tell her, but you have to tell them something.
Def the mother at fault not the girl.

kimi · 22/09/2007 11:12

Hope the mother works out that once her children grow up and get to buy/shop for themselves they will most likely stuff themselves on EVERYTHING mommy made taboo.....

Fat, spotty,toothless and lethargic to boot, oh what fun

vacua · 22/09/2007 11:24

omg what absolute freeeeeeeeeaks, it makes me want to rush out and buy every sugary cereal I can find, how can anyone be so RUDE?

ScoobyDooooo · 22/09/2007 11:34

oh what a load of crap this situation with what you should be feeding your kids & the so called "food police" it drives me mad...

We have weetabix, cheerios, coco pops & porridge in our cuboard, does that make me a shit mummy, oh so friggin what also by the way my kids & i have lovely teeth

FF YANBU

OrmIrian · 22/09/2007 11:44

So the child will grow up with perfect teeth and terrible manners.

I think I'd prefer the other way round.

donnie · 22/09/2007 11:51

YANBU !! what a silly bint of a mum. I'd have said, " yes but at least she's off the fags now" or similar. You did well to remain calm!

bamzooki · 22/09/2007 12:04

DS (4) has just picked up on all the anti-smoking stuff around, and I suspect school may have had some input too, and now if he see someone with a cigarette he stands rooted to the spot in horror while hissing at me none-to-quitely that 'looooook mummy - that man/woman is going to DIE!!'

Never know whether or is best at these moments. Generally choose the 'get the hell out of here' option.

bamzooki · 22/09/2007 12:05

Uh-oh - none-too-quietly

pagwatch · 22/09/2007 12:44

My son has ASD and can't have cocopops or any chocolate ( and a LOT of other stuff) as it makes him bery difficult and emotional. He understands that he is not allowedthese foods and will repeat " it will make you very sick. can't have them. Bad . very bad."
He may well repeat that sort of stuff to others who are buying it because he just has to repeat stuff and process it. I'm not the food police and it wasn't me . But i could easily be giving that kind of judgey message because I have to repeat endlessly and clearly to my son in the hope that he starts to understand what he can and can't eat.
And parents whose kids can eat any treat they want in moderation. Seriously - "lucky you" [with wistful emocion]

pagwatch · 22/09/2007 12:51

And for a very grumpy hijack...
just back from rugby match watching DS1 play. DD is away at friend so DH and I were able to go and watch for first time in years taking just DS2 ( with asd) with us.
I'd been looking forawrd to this for weeks and whole thing was spoilt by a girl aged about 10 who GAWPED at DS for the whole time. Jaw was sitting on chest- drool practically dribbling from open gob as she stared and prodded mum. Then MUM stared and turned to her DD . Much whispering, more talking, more nudging and staring. They literally had their backs to the match by this time as they relied on my DS for their mornings entertainment.
Now SHE could do with some manners and mind her own business. Son wasn't even doing anything that weird and yet was clearly 'odd' enough that they should suss the situation.
Grrr...

NappiesGalore · 22/09/2007 12:58

hi fff

dunno if its been said as havnt read thread yet,... but my take on the OP is that theres a chance the lady was kind of backed into saying it... suppose her dd was a stubborn little sod who had been getting away with treats and sweets from a young age - perhaps her dad gives them to her, maybe her nan, who knows. and it turns out her teeth are in a shacking state and the dentist has made dire warnings... and in desperation the mother has given her dd a great long speech about 'bad' things and how they will make her teeth fall out and it was the only way she could get the little , em, darling, to give the treats up... an then they see you, and that scene unravels...

you could have been an innocnet caught in the crossfire of theor own battle iyswim

i totally understand how it got to you... and its a little late to say it, but, dont let other people and their own issues get under your skin. not worth the energy imo.

poor you, i find supermarkets horrendous at busy times, esp with one or more dc running out of patience...

Original poster
fireflyfairy2 · 22/09/2007 13:50

Pagwatch

That's awful. That's far worse than how I felt in the supermarket. How are children supposed to learn when some parents have no manners either

NG, you could be right, I hadn't thought of that. I was far too busy feeling inferior

OP posts:
SofiaAmes · 22/09/2007 16:21

Kids need some sugar in their diet. Cocopops happens to be one of the few sugary kids cereals that doesn't have hydrogenated vegetable oils and therefore quite a smart choice in the sugary cereal department. In fact, I, who am a healthy food nazi, let me children have cocopops frequently for breakfast (it's the only food with added sugar that enters our house on a regular basis). Bet that stupid woman gives her children juice to drink on a regular basis which is much more likely to make their teeth fall out than a few cocopops.

Ripeberry · 22/09/2007 16:40

Makes me laugh, a woman i know does not let her DD have any sugar at all or sweets as it makes her "hyper"
BUT, they have smoothies every day and not drunk through a straw.
Don't know if you heard, but smoothies are FULL of sugar, Fructose to be exact and one glass of smoothie can have up to 9 tsps of sugar in it!
Best way to combat the acid after drinking one is to eat some cheese straight after.#
Her DD, kept saying to me "i never have sugar or sweets", somebody should tell her that fruit has loads of sugar!
AB

kimi · 22/09/2007 17:27

Pagwatch some people are just beyond help.
DS1 has tourettes mostly motion tic's and yes people stare, DS1 (who is 11) deals with it quite well, and will say, I have tourettes what would you like to know, I can see you are interested in what I am doing. Most people wonder off quite red faced

FrannyandZooey · 22/09/2007 17:28

"Kids need some sugar in their diet."

What, added, processed sugar? They don't.

gess · 22/09/2007 17:45

pagwatch I find 10-14 year old girls the absolute worse for having a good old gawp (a stop dead in your tracks, turn slowly round and stare occasionally prod a friend without taking eyes of ds1 type stare). Weird isn't it? If asked beforehand I would never have guessed it was that age group. I don't mind little kids doing it at all- usually they ask questions as well, but that age p** me off. The fact that so many do it I suppose means its a normal stage of development. Mumsnetters with children that age take note please!