To think my partner should be able to remember to clean his teeth twice a day?

[OhWhatAPalaver]

My partner has developed poor oral hygiene. It never used to be poor but over the years it's got worse. I brought it up (politely) and he took offence and asked me to remind him to do it. I think, as a grown man, he should probably be able to remember to do it himself. AIBU?

Leave toothpaste on his brush

That’s grim. I wouldn’t be kissing someone who didn’t look after their teeth.

He seriously needs reminding to brush his teeth? Is he 5?

You're not his mother, you shouldn't have to remind him.

YANBU I have the same issue with my partner. I politely mentioned that he had bad breath. I know that he hadn't been cleaning his teeth and, again politely, mentioned he needs to clean them twice a day, even if they bleed which he said they did. I even bought some listerene mouthwash for him. however I saw him using the mouthwash instead of cleaning his teeth. I give up! if he wants to lose his teeth its up to him.

That's manky and it's not your job to remind him, or to put toothpaste on his brush (I believe Prince Charles' valet does this, but I doubt if anyone else does). Is he a professional incompetent in other areas of life?

Would 'no brushing, no sex' work?

Same issue :/ so wanted to post to see any good advice

@robinsinthespring it's bizarre isn't it. My partner says he doesn't like the feeling of a toothbrush in his mouth... Honestly, it's like having another child!

@RainMustFall I've said he's not allowed to kiss me until he's brushed his teeth. Hoping this works!

Have you got an electric toothbrush? I hate the feel of a regular brush as they are so big

@AuntieDolly he says electric ones are worse 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I actually don't like brushing my teeth! I do mine in the shower as I particularly don't like the feeling of it being wet around my mouth when I'm dry! Maybe I have poor technique. Either way it's non optional. He needs to find a way to make it work. I also have a timer like 2 min hour glass which I often go over but like to know I've done the minimum. Point is you make it work even if you don't like it!

@Artartart exactly, this is my thinking. It's not an option, he really needs to do it.

I could not and would not be with a man who needed me to remind him to brush his teeth. I would find it hard to believe that he's not useless in many other areas of life as well.

Does he shower regularly? I don't understand how this wouldn't just be a normal part of his routine. Sounds very unattractive

How old is he?

@ShebaShimmyShake he's 43. Old enough and had enough dental issues previously to know better.

I know a couple who split because of an extreme version of this. After they married, he just gave up on personal hygiene. He'd scrub up for his professional job, but at home, on the weekends, on holidays, he wouldn't brush his teeth, wash his hands, or shower until he had to go back to work. And he didn't do a lick of housework.

She gave him two years of ultimatums, begging him, telling him how gross it was. He didn't care. So they divorced. Luckily, they were young and no kids yet.

43!!

No, I could not be attracted to someone who can't be trusted to do something as basic as tooth brushing. And I can't imagine anyone would judge you for it if you couldn't either.

Had 4 relationships with men and only one of them was up to scratch with his dental hygiene. I do not understand it!

That is such a vagina dryer. God men enrage me, we’re expected to be hairless, wear makeup, have no wrinkles, not too pasty, nice hair and clothes and they can’t be arsed with basic hygiene. Remind him, really???!!! Gah! YANBU x a million.

@Greta1985 vagina dryer might be my new favourite term