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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re taking photos

81 replies

KnackeredHag · 01/06/2020 20:18

I am just wondering if I am being unreasonable or if my husband (and teenage child) are?

A few weeks ago as part of my daughters school work she had to make an assault course. She decided to start it about two thirds of the way down the driveway up to the garage. We were out there, doing the assault course waiting for my husband to return from work. When he pulled up he looked puzzled, got out of his van and asked if we knew there was a man taking photos of us. I didn't so walked down and out of the drive to see. He was probably in his 80s and was walking away from the house, he must've turned after my husband pulled up and given I had to walk down and out the drive he must've left pretty quickly. Didn't really think anything more about it.

Today I'm out the back and my eldest calls me to the front. The elderly man has returned with laminated photos of us playing in the driveway. I think he's probably a lonely old man with no family and he liked seeing us playing together and thought he was doing a kind thing by bringing the photos round. My husband and teen think he is weird and it's not the kind of thing you do, apparently I'm naive.

So who (if any of us) are being unreasonable?

YABU - You need to see that sometimes people aren't who you think they are

YANBU - He sounds like a sweet old man and your husband and child are wrong in their assumptions

OP posts:
zscaler · 01/06/2020 20:22

It’s a very weird thing to do. He maybe didn’t intend it that way, but... it’s weird.

HappyHammy · 01/06/2020 20:22

It could be innocent. Maybe he thought it was something to do with VE day. If you know where he lives can dh pop round and just ask why he took the photos.

Mollymalone123 · 01/06/2020 20:22

It was probably his hobby and something got him to actively do in lockdown.what a shame bloody everything get seen as paedophilia!

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/06/2020 20:25

He sounds well intentioned, but may come across as creepy.

Original poster
KnackeredHag · 01/06/2020 20:31

Thanks for the responses. I still think it was well intentioned but now can see why it could be viewed as strange. Just thinking of the trouble he has gone to to actually print and return!

OP posts:
berryhead2013 · 01/06/2020 20:32

Omg there is a man in my town who did this to me but he really isn't creepy he just loves taking photos

FrodoTheDodo · 02/06/2020 08:26

I think he just thought it was a nice thing to see and you might want a nice memory of it to keep too. I can see it might come across as odd but If he had creepy intentions, I don't think he'd have given you copies!

CaptainCabinets · 02/06/2020 08:40

@HappyHammy oh yes, send the DP round to an elderly man’s house to question him, that’s not at all threatening Hmm

@OP, If he had anything to hide, he wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of laminating the photos and giving them to you as a gift. I agree with you, it’s a lovely thing for him to have done for a stranger! To use the cringeworthy Nethuns phrase, he saw you ‘making memories’ with your kids and documented it for you Smile

Pipandmum · 02/06/2020 08:44

Totally weird. Why didn't he ask? Doing an assault course is hardly a cute making memories thing. I'm surprised you didnt notice him. I'm not thinking he's a paedophile but it is a very odd thing to do.

AdalindMeisner · 02/06/2020 08:47

[quote CaptainCabinets]@HappyHammy oh yes, send the DP round to an elderly man’s house to question him, that’s not at all threatening Hmm

@OP, If he had anything to hide, he wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of laminating the photos and giving them to you as a gift. I agree with you, it’s a lovely thing for him to have done for a stranger! To use the cringeworthy Nethuns phrase, he saw you ‘making memories’ with your kids and documented it for you Smile[/quote]
This.

YouDirtyMare · 02/06/2020 08:48

I think he's doing a kind thing
If he was a creep why would he return to give you some lovely photos ?
Just take it for what it is

Thebookswereherfriends · 02/06/2020 08:48

The fact that he laminated and has given you the photos suggests he had no ill intentions, but could be a very awkward, socially inept guy. I certainly wouldn’t do anything further other than ask him to stop if you see him taking photos again.

TinySleepThief · 02/06/2020 08:48

It was probably done with good intent but I would still fimd it unnerving. Plus why on earth didn't he ask if it was ok to take your children's photo? Surely most people regardless of age would ask an adult for permission before randomly photographing children they didn't know?

WindsorBlues · 02/06/2020 09:07

I wouldn't recommend watching the movie one hour photo OP.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 02/06/2020 09:16

  • @HappyHammy oh yes, send the DP round to an elderly man’s house to question him, that’s not at all threatening Hmm*

Has it occurred to you that maybe the OP’s daughters might have found it threatening had they spotted a stranger taking their photos?

Maybe in this case he was merely a nice old man, lonely but misguided in what he did. I’d much rather be cautious and be proved wrong than assume innocence and be wrong, no matter how Hmm that may make some people.

Lifeisconfusing · 02/06/2020 09:20

I think if he was a child abuser he may have just kept them for his own pleasure. He shouldn’t have taken the pictures but due to his age he’s living in a diff era still and prob doesn’t see the harm.

He may be lonely

12stepCAKE · 02/06/2020 09:22

Considering he is about 80 years old what do they think he would do....?

Soubriquet · 02/06/2020 09:24

It’s weird yes but I think it was an innocent thing to do

Now you have memories that can be looked at whenever you want

12stepCAKE · 02/06/2020 09:24

Actually not sure where I got 80 from. .ignore me. I haven't had coffe yet

sunflowersandtulips50 · 02/06/2020 09:27

What did he say when he returned with the photographs?

Starbuggy · 02/06/2020 09:31

It is quite odd but I think if it had been intended in a creepy way he wouldn’t have brought you the laminated photos. So I think it was done with good intentions and probably didn’t realise it felt weird for you

KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 02/06/2020 09:32

I wondered slightly if this was my dad! His hobby is photography and I could see him doing this and not having a clue some people might find it in appropriate.
In his case there would be absolutely no malicious intent, and from what you've said I don't believe there is here either.

forgivemeimnew · 02/06/2020 09:33

I think he’s just seen you all enjoying yourselves and thought you would like it as a memory.

Ughmaybenot · 02/06/2020 09:35

Tbh it just sounds like he enjoys taking photos, is trying to continue with his hobby in lockdown and he didn’t really see that it might be misconstrued and seen as inappropriate. I mean, he returned clear as day with laminated photos for you, he’d not have done that if taking the photos was done for a dodgy reason.

Rhodri · 02/06/2020 09:37

It’s weird but perhaps he has mental issues or special needs. I’d just say thanks and not engage with him. Hopefully he won’t come back.