AIBU re taking photos

[KnackeredHag]

I am just wondering if I am being unreasonable or if my husband (and teenage child) are?

A few weeks ago as part of my daughters school work she had to make an assault course. She decided to start it about two thirds of the way down the driveway up to the garage. We were out there, doing the assault course waiting for my husband to return from work. When he pulled up he looked puzzled, got out of his van and asked if we knew there was a man taking photos of us. I didn't so walked down and out of the drive to see. He was probably in his 80s and was walking away from the house, he must've turned after my husband pulled up and given I had to walk down and out the drive he must've left pretty quickly. Didn't really think anything more about it.

Today I'm out the back and my eldest calls me to the front. The elderly man has returned with laminated photos of us playing in the driveway. I think he's probably a lonely old man with no family and he liked seeing us playing together and thought he was doing a kind thing by bringing the photos round. My husband and teen think he is weird and it's not the kind of thing you do, apparently I'm naive.

So who (if any of us) are being unreasonable?

YABU - You need to see that sometimes people aren't who you think they are

YANBU - He sounds like a sweet old man and your husband and child are wrong in their assumptions

OP, it's a difficult one. As already stated he may have had good intentions, but you just don't know these days.

The elderly woman opposite me does this and nobody bats an eye. She always shares the photos she takes.

OP he probably just lives taking photos and had no idea he is doing anything wrong

Your invoice is in the post

@Mucklowe

If anyone took photos of my daughter without my consent I would go fucking postal, especially a "lonely old man" nonce.

Horrible, horrible post

It’s not naive to think a person taking pictures of a child (clothed and outdoors) is probably not a ‘nonce’ as a poster so charmingly decided.

It’s naive to assume innocence. There’s nothing wrong with a little caution.

This is a lovely thing for him to do. He wouldn't have laminated and brought you the photos if he had any bad intentions. He's captured a lovely candid moment for you to treasure forever.
I wonder if the PP on here who are most angry put photos of their children online?

It is very odd, he probably doesn't have bad intentions but it really isn't acceptable to take pictures of strangers on their own property.

It’s naive to assume innocence. There’s nothing wrong with a little caution

The OP hasn't assumed. She's assessed the situation based on the photos being given to her and there being zero evidence of any nefarious intention.

This thread is ridiculous. Over the weekend there was a thread running about a man who wanted a photo of his daughter. They got into a row when she refused and he pretty much threw a tantrum. Most of the posters said his behaviour was disgusting, he was denying his daughter her right to autonomy over her own body... quite a few suggested it was creepy. As much as I agree he behaved badly, this was her own father. It’s not entirely surprising he wanted a picture of her.

Today, we have a man taking pictures of children he doesn’t know, without their knowledge - and apparently it’s ‘a lovely thing to do’ and it’s a sad indictment of the world we live in to even suggest there could have been anything untoward in it. Bizarre.

This is a sad world we live in. Sad that some have spoiled innocent enjoyment for others, and even more sad that some people have such paranoia that they just see evil in every intention.

I wouldn’t be worried. I don’t think I’d encourage my own grandfather to do this but he would know how it came across. You could either just ignore it or have a very non threatening word with him about how some people might find it inappropriate

StillCoughing

Most of the most powerful, touching, time defining photographs were taken when the subjects weren't aware they were being photographed. It's a real art. He's sharing his art with them.
Look at this

www.thephotoargus.com/40-splendid-examples-of-candid-photography/

It might be art, Alltheusernames, but it’s still taking pictures of children without their consent. In this case the children concerned don’t seem to be upset, which is lucky - but what if they’d spotted someone taking their picture and were freaked out? Is that okay? Would you go to an underage girl and say ‘Oh, but it’s art, darling’?

I don't think he had bad intentions behind it as he was open about what he had done and gave you the photos. However I would have told him that I wasn't happy with it. As PP above said, it is not acceptable to take photographs of strangers on their own property. He probably goes round doing this to other people and though he probably doesn't realise, it comes across very strange.

StillCoughing

But they weren't freaked out so you're talking about different circumstances.

It sounds like he thought he was doing a nice thing. However it's also ok for your teenager to feel uncomfortable with it. It's those spidey senses that are important for keeping us out of sticky situations.

If the elderly mans hobby is photography, he probably thought this would make for a different type of local photo, as opposed to flowers and trees and gardens etc., especially as he has given you something to keep, for a memory.

But they weren't freaked out so you're talking about different circumstances.

The man couldn’t possibly have known that though!

He might not even be aware about modern "photo policy", iyswim.

This could be my dad. It's his hobby. He is not a peado, he just loves taking a nice picture. He is also on the board of a quite big photoclub that wins lots of prizes in competitions, especially with street photo's. He wouldn't think twice about printing a nice photo and going back and giving it. It's meant kindly.

For those who would go nuclear: You're allowed to take photo's on a public street anyway. If you don't want your photo taken, stay inside.

@walkingchuckydoll OP was on her own driveway though. Surely your dad wouldn't take a picture of people on their own property?

I would like to add that my dad would listen if someone wants him to delete a photo or stop taking them, but that would mean talking to him. He also deletes photo's of people who ask for money.

@foodpoisening

I'm not sure. It doesn't matter though, it's not illegal.

It may not be illegal but it is an invasion of privacy.

Why did you not ask him what he was doing and telling him to stop?