To think working from home and looking after//home schooling kids is unsustainable until sept!

[heh1]

Had enough. Dh and I both in pressured busy jobs. Dc in non returning year group

We are surviving by sticking them in front of screens all day when we are on con calls

Don't want to ask for furlough as then my colleagues without dcs or who have much older dcs will get my work ( client focussed sector) and I might be made redundant

Feel pretty rubbish..

House is a shit tip..
Dcs craving attention and largely ignored
Work carrying on like business as usual

Can't manage this until Sept

GPs too far away and in vulnerable category so can't help

@ballsdeep I’ve had three conversations with teacher friends all of whom have no desire to go back. Two have referred to it as a holiday and the other (To quote) said “why would I want the schools to open I’d have to get up before 9am”. I am sure there are a number of teachers who are invested, working, juggling work and childcare but only one teacher at our school has an (adult) child. The rest are all without children and have done no contact through week and are posting pictures to the school Facebook of Paddle boarding, baking, dog walks and new hobbies. While I wouldn’t mind this if they were also providing a decent amount of homeschool for the children and keeping in touch they’re not. So just as everyone has a very different experience of lockdown, we also have very different experiences of teachers. To note the school my niece and nephew are at have been working hard, doing google classroom and regularly marking work. They do a weekly assembly and keep in touch with the children. I do not think those teachers are on holiday. But I do think the ones at my school are.
We’ve put a formal complaint in about it were so unhappy. Our children have been abandoned.

If those teachers aren't working that's the choice of the Headteacher, not the teachers themselves. We're all told what work to complete by SMT.

Strange how everyone on mumsnet knows loads of lazy teachers but I have scores of teacher colleagues, friends and family members and none of us are paddle boarding or baking because we're back in school teaching and have been working normal hours since this all started too, while homeschooling our own children.

now nurseries are allowed to be fully open (I think they are since 1 June which hopefully deals with under 4s of parents where both work full time).

Unfortunately the nursery we send our DD to is not reopening yet. When I got the email a few weeks ago saying they had ongoing safety concerns and wouldn't be reopening until "later in the summer" I sat on my kitchen floor and sobbed. I think a pp said the same. We have managed to find a childminder who can take DD 2.5 days a week (starting tomorrow: can't wait). Not the FT place we are used to, but it will make a HUGE difference. Now just the 12 and 8 year old to deal with...

Completely with you! My DDs attitude is getting awful. She's gone full rogue. It's constant arguments. I think she should do something. She squeals that she shouldn't. We are as stubborn as each other and DP is just stuck in the middle with his head in his hands. I always thought I could reason with her but today I almost said "because I'm big and you're small. I'm right and you're wrong and there's nothing you can do about it." But there is because she's feral.

She is left to it during the day. If we are on a call 10% of the time she will talk in the background. One of my bosses finds it funny but is probably just being kind. We try to homeschool but no one is interested.

So true OP, there are some very angry posters on our local Facebook parenting group, in a fury about schools going back and I look at them in amazement...one child isn’t starting back at nursery till early July and the other mid June at school but even then it may be mornings only eyc, and then the school breaks up one month later. DH and I sat down last week and talked and decided we couldn’t go on - either one of us was furloughed or we would hire a nanny and we’ve decided on the latter who will come a few days a week.

I'm at breaking point I'm wfh in a stressful busier than ever job, three kids two school age one 3 year old - and I'm on my own. I absolutely detest the teams that school have set up the kids to home school on firstly as they need a computer hello so do I for my job so they can't use that so we got some work sheets - kids not interested I feel so shit as I can't understand my nine years old maths homework. The 7&9 year constantly argue.
I've come of social media as if I see one more 'perfect' furloughed mum and dad sitting in their arses enjoying a slower pace of life 🤮 and getting up at 3am to walk up the local beauty spot to see the sunrise I think I'll completely loose my shit.

I feel all your pain. Working well over 10 hours every day from home with a 9 year old DD. Lone parent with no family near. I'm absolutely at the end of my rope with it tbh.

We can’t even get a nanny or a babysitter or an au pair here. Not allowed. You can use a childminder in Scotland as of tomorrow but all our local childminders are full in normal times and now only allowed to take a smaller number of children. It just feels so sodding endless.

@goldenomber that was the other thing I wondered about, it’s all fine and well saying get a childminder or nursery but as you say depending on where you live there might not be enough childminders or nursery with space especially for more than one child

@GoldenOmber
Sodding endless sums it up
I can't absolutely believe that we are expected to do this for six months.
Our COVID rate in our borough of London has dropped dramatically over a number of weeks now. It does now feel heavy handed

I have so much sympathy with you all. I have managed to cut down my hours to 0.5 FTE which is a lifesaver, but it’s getting harder and harder as my DH’s work ramps up again (he is self employed). Today I have been on kid duty all day and have been working too, but have only managed to watch a webinar and so some fairly easy stuff. I just can’t get anything which involves deep thinking done when I’m on duty.

One good solution we have found is that my MIL (retired teacher) does some teaching via Zoom a few times a week. This does help to occupy the kids for a bit and they do respond better to another adult, but it’s still hard to get much done while they do that. One problem is that our broadband can’t seem to cope with more than one video call at once, so if they are on that we have to do any other work meetings using 4G on our phones or using a hotspot.

Luckily DS2 is meant to be starting back at school next week (year 1) and it will be much easier to get work done with only one 9 year old at home - he can get on with his work on google classroom more or less independently and entertain himself to an extent.

@Wincher, that is an excellent idea about getting grandparents to give some remote home schooling support. I'm going to ask DP's mum if she would be prepared to do a couple of hours a week with DS (8). She can look at the school website which has detailed information for each year group, and we can agree a couple of areas for her to work through with him. I think she's pretty bored too (shielding), so she might find this gives her something to do. She's much more patient than I am, and unlike me, has the time!

Well exactly, it's a win-win-win as it gives us some time to work, it gives the kids a chance to see their granny and do some constructive work and it gives her something to do and she gets to see her grandchildren! She doesn't do school work with them, she sets a theme every couple of weeks and they do literacy work related to that, so the kids don't usually get all their school work done, but that doesn't matter.

It's pretty hard, and we have a fair amount of room and resources, but we are both working FT at home. DS (8) in process of being assessed for ADHD and can't do much independently without losing attention, we were leaving DD (nearly 12) to it as she could organise herself, or so we thought, be we found out at half term she'd been putting a brave face on it and although she was doing work she wasn't submitting much and was really overwhelmed by it but, bless her, she didn't want to bother us because she knew her brother needed a lot of attention. So we're now having to check on her a lot more.

From the moment school finished I didn't imagine they'd be back before September.

DH is on a contract and might not be working after the end of this month, in which case he may be able to help over summer - we will definitely keep working with DS over the break ,as he was already behind at school (we've actually finally been able to improve his handwriting while he's been at home) and there won't be a great deal else he can do. DD should at least be able to see friends and stuff, even if at a distance.

What would really help me now would be if schools could at least give us a likely minimum offering plan for September, as it would be useful to know what to expect - eg short days? short weeks? so we might at least a vaguely plan and i could know, for example, whether I can accept meetings for 3pm or if I'll have to be picking up DS every day then (if DH is working it will very likely have to be me - his job keeps him on the phone almost all day!)

If I were in this situation WFH I'd find a friend who was doing the same with similar age DC and buddy up with them - swapping days of childcare a few times a week.

I know it's potentially against the rules but it seems no more risky than using a nanny - and you could choose days when weather is good in order to care for them outside.

Rather that than have a mental breakdown or lose your job then home.

Agree @echobelly it's very hard not knowing what it may look like in September. Second wave will probably hit the same week all children are due back or some such other hell

It is pretty hard, I have to agree. I’ve been in tears several times today with home schooling despite the boys being absolutely brilliant yesterday.
I echo any comments about ‘Mum’ being the default homeschooler - despite my DP also working from home his employer is more demanding. Although we both work full time, I have more freedom around my diary, so it’s kind of segued to me doing most it over the last 10 weeks.

It’s shit, it really is but most of my frustration isn’t over the kids being at home, it is working that balance between ‘reasonable employer’ vs ‘unreasonable employer’ and then working out how much of that is real or DP just happy to let me crack on!

Grrr. 2 glasses of wine and a cider since bedtime! In a very long way I guess I’m saying if the kids aren’t struggling, if you can all muster an ‘I love you’ at the end of the day, just the very After school basics like you would do in normal times will do. So timestables, spelling, daily reading And/or phonics. And some days I don’t even manage that (more like most days!)

PM was just asked a question exactly on this

He said he was supporting parents through the JRS scheme ( well yes but only those who are furloughed!) and referred to childcare options on the governments coronavirus website.. what are these?

Completely failed to deal with parents who are still working...

Clearly the expectation is that if you don't have childcare you should be furloughed

And otherwise just put up and shut up until the schools reopen

Should we all be requesting furlough, then ??

@GreyishDays

Although there won’t be homeschooling for the last six weeks.

I'm afraid not convinced that given all that's has happened educationally and given its likely to be part time schooling for some time to come, that no homeschooling in July and August is the way to go. Yes we need a "break" but not 6 weeks worth.

I totally agree. It is just too long for kids to be out of school too, my DD's mental health is seriously impacted. She is Y1 so was supposed to go back but school is only opening for reception and key worker kids. I don't have a solution and it is what it is so I guess we will all have to cope but I feel your pain!

Just seen this thread:

Schools fubared till November? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3928022-schools-fubared-till-november

We've found it OK. Two of us working FT, and 4 kids all home-learning. Youngest is 9, which probably helps.

Today has been a nightmare. The worst part was keeping the no-screens consequence for DS (8) refusing to work. Hopefully tomorrow will be better...

We've found it OK. Two of us working FT, and 4 kids all home-learning. Youngest is 9, which probably helps

"probably"??!? Of course, it's very difficult with reluctant or struggling teenagers too, but for the most part, the unmanageability factor is the number of younger dcs. My eldest is 8, and I could manage 4 of him no problem, even though he does need some support. His 3 younger brothers, however, are wonderful but also endlessly energetic, danger-loving, food-spilling, semi-literate (at best) monkey children, who cannot safely be left alone for any length of time, and are not helpful for home working. Surely with 4 you have some memory of this stage?