To think working from home and looking after//home schooling kids is unsustainable until sept!

[heh1]

Had enough. Dh and I both in pressured busy jobs. Dc in non returning year group

We are surviving by sticking them in front of screens all day when we are on con calls

Don't want to ask for furlough as then my colleagues without dcs or who have much older dcs will get my work ( client focussed sector) and I might be made redundant

Feel pretty rubbish..

House is a shit tip..
Dcs craving attention and largely ignored
Work carrying on like business as usual

Can't manage this until Sept

GPs too far away and in vulnerable category so can't help

[Feellikedancingyeah]

Holiday clubs not taking any bookings. It's getting very close to summer holidays now. If they announce opening at last minute they will be sold out fast. Not just for childcare but because most of us of at the end of our tethers and desperately need a break

[Fatted]

@2kool4skool I think this will happen too.

Already, people are reconsidering their careers based on how their employers are reacting to this situation. My opinion isn't popular, but I think too many people have built precarious houses of cards for themselves before all of this kicked off. Working all the hours in the day, farming the kids out to be looked after elsewhere. And I say this as someone who has two school age kids and is still working full time from home.

Honestly OP, take furlough and save your family the nervous breakdown. Find a job that is more in keeping with family life in the long term.

[ChocolateCard]

I suppose it just goes to show why 2 full time working parents was never really a great plan.

But now our entire economy is built around that model. Who can survive on one income these days? 30 years ago, one income was absolutely the norm.

[heh1]

@Fatted
I do think it's made us think about our priorities and yes families are more important and maybe 2 working parents will not be the norm in the future but I've worked really hard for my career and it's so frustrating to think that the only option is to give up

[TiddleTaddleTat]

I wouldn't go quitting jobs just yet or doing anything to risk longer term prospects.
There are millions like us, there will be great pressure on the system to accommodate the needs of working parents. We are a huge chunk of the electorate.
As I said before this will disproportionately affect women and set many back in their careers, but it is an enormous decision and a very risky one. What if the other parent loses their job? This is not an economic climate to take risks with jobs.

[DelurkingAJ]

But lots of us love our jobs and earn good money. This is a 1-in-100 year event and DC with two working parents are being shafted. How many people will this push into poverty? God only know what you do as a single parent. We only coped by tag-teaming and there have been tears from me and both DSs along the way. Tantrums becoming daily rather than every couple of months deform DS1 (7). Awful. Thank goodness in the UK nurseries are starting to go back. And yes, if my childminder hadn’t swung into action today I would have gone for any family friend’s teenager!

[Scrapeagle]

I'm another one desperate to know more about online school. What are you using, how can this work better? I've tried White Rose maths and it's OK, but pretty dull for them. I need something that will engage DD(9) who is ... Not lazy, but takes the path of least resistance. @nevertwerknaked, please dm me or post the sites you and friends are using, this is so hard. Why isn't there more support from government? There must be thousands of us whose jobs have exploded into busiest ever periods (trying to figure out how to do EVERYTHING differently) while simultaneously covering all childcare and education. I can't, I just can't do it all.

[Austriana]

I'm in the same boat here, my kids are toddlers and my partner and I have full time busy jobs. We work every evening to make up for juggling childcare in the day, so there's absolutely no down time.

You're doing a fantastic job even if you think you are failing on all fronts: your children are safe, your income is being maintained. When this is over, and it will be, you will still have your career and be a role model for your kids.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

Rather than DM here is a summary of possible options

• try local private schools (pricey but the good ones are all doing proper online interactive teaching)

• online schools

,
initially established for homeschoolers/children in films etc - . Proper interactive lessons...seem to mainly be year 4 and up. C£250/month for a full curriculum (around half a day each day plus homework that is marked ). Can chat with class mates, speak into microphone, write on whiteboard, DM teachers etc during lessons (teacher controls microphone)
Examples include - myonlineschooling : pay monthly, pick and choose how many subjects.

• Interhigh - full curriculum only, I think KS2 all lessons are in the morning leaving afternoons free.

Outschool - ad hoc lessons/short courses /ongoing courses. Huge numbers of courses from year R up on a wealth of subjects. My 6 year old daughter loves them. You have to spend a bit of time finding a class at the right time/right topic but they have made her so happy. If you would like a $20 voucher towards trying some lessons with outschool you are welcome to DM me

la Jolie Ronde and similar are doing online classes

A lot of friends are using local tutors for online lessons, either for one child or a group of children.

[WelcomeToTheNorth]

Oh I’ve found my people.

[CountessFrog]

I’ve finally gone off sick from my job in the NHS. Can no longer sustain this, it’s making me ill.

[Canuckduck]

I agree. Our schools are definitely closed until at least September and there is unlikely to be any childcare provisions for school age children until then as well. I’ve finally admitted defeat and am now on leave (not in the UK) until September assuming schools return. I can collect government benefit which is about 1/2 my regular pay. We can manage and I feel a huge sense of relief. Totally acknowledge that I am very lucky to be able to choose this.

[RaggieDolls]

I'm thinking of advertising for a PGCE student. They could do some home tutoring and look after DCs.

Perhaps look into that OP?

[KillashandraRee]

Goodness me I’m so pleased to find you all. Spent yesterday sobbing in frustration as the school did a u turn at midday on opening so my 6 year old DS who was due back Thursday now isn’t going back. We’re in the lowest hit part of uk with barely any cases and they’ve justified it on the basis of independent sage report (that was UK wide and even specified in the report that cases should be judged on local numbers). We have two at home, both working desperately hard to save a business that employs 80+ people. We feel the teachers are having a very nice holiday posting pics of paddle boarding and new hobbies, while our children have been deserted. Most parents have stopped home schooling and see just going out and having fun but they are either furloughed or don’t work. Those of us who do are drowning with work, guilt and stress. (And yes the post on social media about test and baking are making me fume. We’re paying for everyone to have a holiday!) if the weather changed it would be a different story! First time I’ve been praying for rain.

[SushiGo]

I am so, so, so sick of being told that the answer to how difficult it is, is to give up one income.

We are a very average family in a house that's too small, and if we gave up one income we would be rapidly homeless. Not everyone with two working parents has one salary as disposable cash - in fact I would bet in most cases it isn't!

Whose job would we even give up? Mine, after I already sacrificed my earning power with time off when they were small? I earn less, but my job is much more secure. What if I give it up and then DH is made redundant? Then we're both unemployed. 3 months of mortgage leeway wouldn't last long in a global recession.

I'll keep my job thanks.

We will both probably end up using unpaid leave though.

[MindyStClaire]

I'm sick of it too SushiGo. We both have well paid professional jobs that we have worked hard for, and studied for years. We could cope on one salary if we wanted to (we live in a very cheap part of the country) but we've literally never once had a conversation where we contemplated it because neither of us would like to be a SAHP.

I also bet that if that suddenly became the expectation, it would be the women giving up their jobs on the whole, even in families like ours where the woman earns more. How many people (women) would then be trapped in unhappy marriages? What about single parents?

The step forward we need isn't households with one working parent, it's support for working parents. In normal times that means flexible working, which may become more normal after all this.

At the moment, in these remarkable circumstances, it means proper attention given to the reopening of schools and childcare facilities, and legal protection for parents in the workplace.

[Littlepond]

I hear you OP. I’m wfh full time. DH is out at work full time. I have 3 kids who are supposed to be home learning. My life consists of sitting at my computer and every 15 mins being asked a question or asked for help by one of the kids...

[megletthesecond]

Lone parent working from bedroom here. My 13yr old does work, but he has regular loud moaning sessions when he's stuck. My 11yr old literally won't do a thing. She's watched screens non stop for weeks now.
I keep telling myself at least I'm paying my mortgage off even if their education is going to pieces.

[TheOrigBrave]

My yr6 went back yesterday and my god it was good. First time in 10 weeks I actually got a proper days work done and wasn't snapping (literally and emotionally) with tension.
Single parent with very supportive boss and colleagues but it's been so so hard.

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

Totally agree it is appalling. The issue of non-key workers with no access to childcare is terrifying and just not being discussed. I think, as PP say, that it’s because the governments know that the only real option is for one parent to go part time or quit. Of course single parents are stuffed with this option. Note I am not saying I agree with this at all, just saying I think it is not being discussed as the clear implication is that a parent is now expected to be off with their children for the foreseeable future.

[HugeAckmansWife]

I came off furlough yesterday to wfh and y6 DS went back. Y4 dd still home. Compared to many of you guys, I've had it very easy but yesterday wad just a tiny taste of how difficult it would be to manage 2 dcs and work. Their private school is providing good online stuff but dd needs help to navigate the tech to actually get to the work and likes me to sit with her. When I have to take a call or answer an email she immediately gets arsey. I'm a single parent but both now and before, with ex, it was a juggling act, plates spinning all over just about keeping everything going and I do wonder about the long term sustainability of two parents working full time hours with kids. It's always on a knife edge of just about doable and any sickness or overtime or unusual situation and it all unravels. No idea what the solution is other than somehow lower housing costs artificially so you don't need two full time wages. That still wouldn't help lone parents though!

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

Note I am not saying I agree with this at all, just saying I think it is not being discussed as the clear implication is that a parent is now expected to be off with their children for the foreseeable future

Agree. And without intervention, it will overwhelmingly be the women who stop working - and not just because they earn less, talking to friends, like pps I earn more than DH but would likely be the one to stop. This will throw more single parents and lower income dual-parent families and their children into poverty, stick more women in a abusive relationships, and ultimately harm the nation's finances too, by decreasing tax intake and depriving the country of a skilled group of workers. The effect will ripple through decades as it's hard to pick up work again after time off as a sahp, women's pensions and savings will be er recover and children growing up with fewer resources tend to earn less in the long term

[Jellybelly15]

It really is a totally different ball game for people who are still working from home. I am attempting structure and routine with our weekdays and ds is working but it all has to be independent because dp and I are both working. I do feel very guilty about ds being on his own so much.

[CountessFrog]

The burden on women is immense. Theoretically there are two parents in this house, however the children come to me because I don’t ignore them.

DD was incredibly time consuming yesterday while we were both trying to work - husband at the table shaking his head but not actually moving from his work. Me arranging everything and dealing with every query, then being asked ‘what’s for tea?’ And ‘what’s the date?’ And realising it’s our godson’s 21st next week. Him just sitting there.

Women and kids overboard.

[Handsnotwands]

Yes. This is awful. I was pretty relaxed about the total lack of learning we’re managing but their behaviour is deteriorating and they’re obviously not happy.

We can’t afford tutors or online courses

The school is putting a few worksheets on class dojo a week but we’ve all but given up even trying to do them. I’m too busy at work. They don’t want to do them. Dh is out from 5am to 5pm and knackered when he gets home

My employer is very flexible and accommodating but I’ve got a job to do. And I need to get it done

DS is dyspraxic (suspect Dd is too) and I don’t know if this is contributing to how impossible I’m finding it to school them

The gap between them and the majority of their classmates who have a parent at home was already apparent before this. It’s becoming a yawning chasm. Terrifying if I think about it so I try not to