To think working from home and looking after//home schooling kids is unsustainable until sept!

[heh1]

Had enough. Dh and I both in pressured busy jobs. Dc in non returning year group

We are surviving by sticking them in front of screens all day when we are on con calls

Don't want to ask for furlough as then my colleagues without dcs or who have much older dcs will get my work ( client focussed sector) and I might be made redundant

Feel pretty rubbish..

House is a shit tip..
Dcs craving attention and largely ignored
Work carrying on like business as usual

Can't manage this until Sept

GPs too far away and in vulnerable category so can't help

[Bathbedandbeyond]

I’ve had to resign, it had become unbearable.

[Xenia]

There are 2m unemployed at least now and loads of students looking for jobs. Surely of that number the state can find some who can be provided free to go into families each day and care for the children from 8 to 6pm whilst parents work until schools open in September. We could make it a condition of getting universal credit for some applicants that they do that work perhaps for a £100 a week top up.

[megletthesecond]

Xenia, Very few people are going to have a stranger in their house to care for their kids. They'd need to be tested for CV constantly, criminal record checked and interviewed to make sure they were even suitable for it. Nice idea but totally impractical.

[NichyNoo]

It’s unsustainable for us here too - we have two DS age 7 and 9 and their behaviour has deteriorated massively. They are simply bored mindless. DH and I work full time and I’m finding it impossible now to juggle everything. 9 year old has 11+ exam in September so we can’t just give up on home schooling.

And to the poster who said they’ll be no homeschooling over the summer hols - we’re going to have to try and keep up with it otherwise they’ll be watching 9 hours of TV a day if we leave them to their own devices. Which would cause their behaviour to be even worse.

I literally don’t know how I will cope until September as I’m really struggling.

[Bladeofgrass]

Xenia, what a silly idea.
I wouldn't want some random person coming into my house to care for and educate my children.
I'd have concerns over covid, dbs, thier qualification and ability to teach children, thier empathy, and ability to care for children.
I guess you think anyone can be a teacher or childminder. You need to be the right sort of person and have training for both jobs.
I'd not want someone who was forced into it by claiming benefits to be coming to my house, reluctantly, every day.

[themachinist]

Lone parent of two here trying to work full time. I'm at breaking point and despite having sympathetic noises from my boss and employer I feel nothing has been put in place for us really (esp single mothers).

Considering asking for two days parental leave per week!

[NeverTwerkNaked]

A lot of the holiday clubs near us are hoping to open over the summer, at least for a few weeks

[twilightcafe]

Xenia - you have lost your mind if you think I will let a stranger who only wants a benefit top-up look after my children.

[middleager]

Mine are 14 so they are learning independently,
but staring for hours and hours at screens. Bedtimes getting later. A relentless workload for them coming in from school, but it's hours of homework rather than lessons.

As well as their education, I'm concerned for their emotional and psychological wellbeing.

We are busier than ever both wfh all hours. I end up with the heavy lifting, trying to do a stressful job, run house and sort kids, which causes lots of tension. I can't take time away as I am the only one who does my role.
We are both stressed and the marriage is at breaking point.

Most of the team don't have kids either.

Meanwhile, lots of friends and family are calling while I'm working (I have to ignore it then call back of an evening when I'm exhausted) or sharing pictures of sunbathing and baking.

I was off at half term and it was wonderful. DH and I were getting on without stress and spent quality time with kids. It made me envious of those who have the time to catch up.

Working parents have been shafted in this. There is no mention of this in briefings ever. It's really tough, yet I cannot imagine how hard it would be if mine were primary aged too.

Some posters are castigated for stating that women are/will bear the brunt of this, but from what I'm experiencing and reading, this is the depressing truth.

I work with schools and we are looking at a part-time model for September.

[ballsdeep]

@KillashandraRee

What a load of bollocks. You do realise teachers aren't on holiday (apart from last week!) The vast majority are working harder than ever, providing distance learning and still going into hubs. You do realise that teacher also have families and they are finding the same things as difficult as you?

[ceeveebee]

We have an 18 year old coming 2 hours a day, she was supposed to be sitting her a levels but obviously now has nothing to do. Neighbours daughter and has babysat for us lots of times before and is very trustworthy. And I am in the next room so not exactly leaving them unattended
And not all teachers are working harder than ever before. My dds teacher is 24 years old no children and working every other week, has no contact at all, no marking, and only 1 zoom lesson in 10 weeks. All the work for this term has been published on the website already so not even any planning to do.

[NeverTwerkNaked]

@ballsdeep that may be the case but if it is the teachers at all 3 of my children's schools must be exceptions as we keep getting posts on their school websites about how they are enjoying long dog walks/all the time with their children/ doing DIY and garden improvements. Which all feels very jarring for parents who have had no contact from the teachers at all, whose children haven't heard their teachers voice once in 10 weeks and are getting worksheets they can finisb in 10 minutes. And the teacher just "likes" them when they upload them. And yes, I get that this is "not all schools" but it I am hearing the same story from friends and family scattered all over the country.

And my instincts were right and my son's depression has lifted since he started proper interactive online lessons with his new school, and I feel so much less stressed because I can just be a parent and an employee and not try and be a teacher as well.

If more schools can find a way to teach online like this I think a lot of parents would be able to keep their children home more easily and therefore for longer.

[wizzbangfizz]

Mine are year 5 and 2 and we have had no support, no online lessons.

Weekly e mail setting work which is difficult for non teachers to teach or entirely unrealistic for 2 full time working parents - massive craft projects. Certainly no video lessons, I do not buy the "teachers working harder than ever before" line.

[LaurieMarlow]

i do not buy the "teachers working harder than ever before" line.

Me either. The two generic worksheets a week we are sent must take up about half an hour of DS’s teachers time to send out.

[LaurieMarlow]

Sorry, for clarity, many teachers are trying very hard. But plenty aren’t.

[Stuckforthefourthtime]

do not buy the "teachers working harder than ever before" line.

I'm sure many are, and especially in secondary - and even if they weren't, it's hardly different from a number of my friends on furlough or quiet at work while wfh, so I have no problem with it. However I do get frustrated with all the claims that "the vast majority are working harder then ever" like a pp said when the primary schools around here, all multi-form entry, had until this week a handful of key worker kids only, then sent out links to Oak Academy plus one weekly maths and English activity per year group, and no contact addresses. No calls, no reaching out to those with issues (I know this as one of my DC has SEN). It was a small amount of work needed, from max one teacher per form, and planning is now done for the rest of the year - how on earth could those still at home be busy?

Now it's a different situation - many kids are back, and many teachers are in person and many of the shielding/vulnerable teachers have email addresses shared so kids can actually get work marked, which is great.

Anyway, that's not the point of the thread, and similarly to all the other working parents I have a lot of sympathy to the teachers who are trying to teach remotely with small children, we're all doing as best we can...

[shartsi]

I have stopped homeschooling. Everyone was unhappy. We only do times tables and reading. The school expects us to submit 5 pieces of work every day and with 3 children I just cannot anymore. My printer run out of ink and school send work in pdf format only, so we have to print the scan it in. In addition most of the topics was unfamiliar and involved actual teaching of the kids. I would need to teach myself first, then teach the kids. Plus I have my own work to do. I have given up. I will get tutors once schools reopen in September.

[Thepilotlightsgoneout]

I’ve never voted Tory and I’m well aware that this government have cocked some things up but doesn’t this thread demonstrate how bloody difficult it is for them to make decisions? People are on their knees, losing their jobs, kids are suffering as we read here but you’ve still got a huge swathe of voices saying we shouldn’t ease lockdown, teachers who don’t feel safe, doctors warning of a second wave. What the fuck do you do?!

[DisorganisedOrganiser]

Yes Thepilotlightsgoneout, I think at this point whatever those in power do will be called wrong.

[Jellybelly15]

I've just really snapped at ds8 and I feel horrible now. His attitude regarding the stuff I'm giving him to do it just terrible. He has no enthusiasm for it. If I ask him to write a story he will come back 2 minutes later with a sentence and then cry and stomp off when I say it's not a story! In school he loves things like that.
I have tried to explain so many times that I have to work and I know it's rubbish for him but we all just have to try our best. I get that he's only a child and doesn't fully understand what's happening but god it's draining! And then I'm getting stick from my boss and slagged off my colleagues for not getting things done with my work

[MindyStClaire]

Thepilotlightsgoneout I do think you're right in the sense that any government trying to make decisions ATM is between a rock and a hard place. But acknowledging the problem would be a good start. I don't think working parents are feeling particularly seen ATM. As I said, our plan in NI makes literally no mention of childcare. "Childcare won't be possible until Step 4 because of reasons x, y and z" would be much easier to accept.

[Xenia]

We had someone we hired to our home to look after the children for years and years. it is not a stranger. It is someone you interview, hire and approve and you will be in the house and the father of the children keeping an hour on things. We found some lovely local sixth formers for Sat and Sunday mornings for example fora while and a nice older lady who did 3pm to 6pm and school pick ups and cooking their dinner.

[LaurieMarlow]

but doesn’t this thread demonstrate how bloody difficult it is for them to make decisions?

unfortunately, mistakes they have made early on on the process have been very costly.

If they’d managed to shut down sooner and kept figures lower, they’d be in a much better position to reopen now. Now, they probably can’t put the economy on ice for much longer, yet the medical stats are far from great. It’s very difficult, but to some degree of their own making.

[Xenia]

I agreed with the delayed start to lock down as there is only so long people will tolerate it or the economy can stand it. Even now 50% of people are being paid by the state now. That decision was taken on medical advice. However we are where we are and the lock down should have been much shorter for the greater good.

For women considering given up work please don't. It protects your children better if there are two full time salaries in a family even if it is hard and even if most of what each of you earn is going on childcare costs.

[randomsabreuse]

In a lot of places there is no childcare. The people struggling are those who have paid for childcare and got a finely tuned machine together to make it work with two jobs, probably both with their own pressures and unexpected challenges.

Now the main chunk of that machine is gone, and there's nothing to replace it.

It's not a financial issue, it's a simple availability problem - parents struggling to work are hardly going to have time to sift through the various applicants for the job of re-engaging bored children who will resist the end of unlimited screens...