Ugly bride

[Ugliestbrideinthewholewideworl]

My wedding was a few years ago now but it still plays on my mind.

No-one told me I looked nice on my wedding day. Not my husband, not my mother (more concerned with her own appearance, and she did look wonderful), none of the guests.

Our make-up artist put pictures on her social media of my beautiful bridesmaids but not me. Our photographer didn't put up photos of us on social media, despite her doing it for every other wedding and despite us getting married at a lovely venue. I can only assume I spoiled the photos.

I know I sound so self-pitying, but AIBU to hope that maybe I'm not as ugly as I think I am? I'm trying so hard to be a positive role model for my daughters but I just cringe whenever I see myself and I think that my wedding was the start of everything going downhill.

Thanks very much

No one told me I looked beautiful either.

Cheap dress from H&M, own hair and make up which I’m shit at. Didn’t even bother to waste money on a photographer.

I actually went home half way though the (shit pub, again, cheap) reception and no one noticed, not even my husband who was just pissed with his friends and family.

Crap day all round.

I don't recall anyone saying anything about my appearance on the day either (long time ago, very small scale event, ideally would have been a jeans and t-shirt job but smartened up a bit)

but I've never been conventionally pretty and this was long before the era of 'gawjus', so it never occurred to me that it was a problem. I don't think I was brought up not to care about appearance, it was just never mentioned beyond being clean and tidy, and dressing appropriately for the occasion. There seems to be terrible pressure now to meet a standard - and that standard is heading towards oompa-loompa complexions, rectangular eyebrows, huge arses, recently punched mouths and gormless expressions. Now that IS ugly.

no-one is naturally ugly. There are daft outfits, silly hairstyles, bad makeup and a lot of those are seen at weddings (and not just on brides) but still no-one is naturally ugly.

it is conventional to tell a bride she looks good, as most put a massive amount of effort into those few hours. Brides in the full kit often do take your breath away, but not always for the 'princess/angel' reason. Think of Princess Di in that mass of crumpled fabric, Kate Middleton in that ghastly lace job. Pippa Middleton looked knockout in a simple dress as a bridesmaid - but looked daft on her own wedding day in another toilet-roll-doll job. I've also seen groups of bridesmaids where the uniform of the day did one of them no favours at all, and then you think 'didn't anyone LOOK?'

concerned by your post, OP. If one day a few years ago is still playing on your mind you really need some help which I hope you can find.

I look back at photos of myself as a young woman and do you know what I was a v attractive girl but I could never see it at all

I had that exact same experience. Though to be fair, it wasn't my family's fault.

I put yanbu not because you’re ugly, but because yanbu to be upset. I was exactly the same on my wedding day. No one took any photos other than the photographer, I can’t remember anyone telling me I looked nice/happy, etc.

MuseumOfYou - it's completely true.

You will have looked lovely. Someone loves you and married you. (he's lucky 🍀).

My cousin is in hers 30s, lives at home and refuses to work. She lives off an inheritance from our Grandparents. We got the same amount - I work 5 days a week.

I want to tell you something, OP. I have a friend who is objectively very ugly. But whenever I see her, she is--oh, it's like sunlight just lit up the room. She's like just what I want to see. She looks delicious. Because I love her. The thought of being with her brings me joy. Whenever I've been at the wedding of people I've loved, I haven't been thinking about fashion. I've been thinking about love. I've been thinking about the friends I love. I'm hoping that they will have a happy life loving each other. I think about the love I share with my husband. I'll bet your friends thought you were delicious. Because they loved you. They'd want you there with a bag on your head. So whatever you did, if you made it through the day and you're still married, you did the right thing!

If there's anything this Coronavirus has brought me, and many people to appreciate, it's how lucky we are to have precious friends to love. So your friends are damned lucky to have your sweet face to enjoy!