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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

"Married partner" - a bit uncomfortable?

57 replies

Thefifthbeatle · 31/05/2020 23:19

Is it just me who finds it a bit 🤔 that Rosie Duffield is being reported as having broken lockdown to go for a walk with her "married partner"? I mean, if he's finishing your walk and going home to his wife and kids, who don't know anything about his partnership with you, he's not really your "partner", is he? That seems to lend it a legitimacy it doesn't really possess?

Also a bit surprised at her statement about how sad it is when a relationship ends. Well, yes, I suspect it was extremely sad for his wife to find out that he was leaving because he has been having an affair behind her back. With you.

Perhaps going into week 11 of lockdown is just making me a grumpy old cow.

OP posts:
DollyDally · 31/05/2020 23:21

They now live in the same house as he has left his wife and children.

CyberNan · 31/05/2020 23:24

who is rose Duffield?

if you know that her hubby is shagging around, chances are she knows as well...

OccasionalNachos · 31/05/2020 23:26

She’s an MP @CyberNan 😂

Thefifthbeatle · 31/05/2020 23:27

She's an MP.

I think the poor wife definitely knows now, as it's been all over the news. Not so much at the time, which is why it seems to be stretching the term partner a little.

OP posts:
OtterBe4 · 31/05/2020 23:28

The PM is an immoral cheating liar that gets ignored so let’s not vilify a woman MP for far less.

Thefifthbeatle · 31/05/2020 23:35

Absolutely. The PM also behaves in an appalling way. He just happens not to have had his poor behaviour exposed today, unlike her.

OP posts:
OtterBe4 · 31/05/2020 23:41

Why post about her then?
At least she had the decency to step down from the front bench.
Hardly appalling going for a socially distanced walk, none of us know the circumstances at all of him leaving his wife, plenty MNers stay in the family home while already separated.

NamechangeOnceMore · 01/06/2020 00:27

It takes two to tango. Blame the man who broke his marriage vows, not Rosie Duffield.

Nobody except the people inside a marriage truly knows what's going on. Their marriage may have been over anyway. Plenty of men don't want to leave their kids and move into a bedsit, so stay with their wife until they find a replacement. Doesn't make the end of the marriage the affair partner's fault.

CoachBombay · 01/06/2020 00:33

It's generally not wise to speculate on others personal lives unless you are in full receipt of the facts.

For all we know the wife could have had an affair , and the husband was preparing to leave but then lockdown happened. Or the husband has had an affair with the MP. Or the wife and husband just decided to seperated and we're getting round to it when lockdown happened.

You just never know, so it's generally best not to jump to conclusions.

LellyMcKelly · 01/06/2020 00:34

Finding hard to get worked up about this to be honest. She’s not government. She doesn’t set policy.

greenlynx · 01/06/2020 00:37

I was surprised as well when saw the news, very unusual description.
Could it be that he’s separated but not divorced yet and decided to spend lockdown with his children to be able to see them or maybe to look after them? The thing is that children were able to travel from one parents to another during lockdown but some parents were not comfortable with this or his home could be not suitable.
I don’t know if he has children, it’s just my guess.

MintyMabel · 01/06/2020 00:44

The PM is an immoral cheating liar that gets ignored so let’s not vilify a woman MP for far less.

Or, let’s stop ignoring what he does and call them both out?

spongedog · 01/06/2020 01:01

I live in the same county so saw her miraculous political victories in that constituency. I was really pleased - new decent MP. The county is very stale in its MP choices.

But this really is not OK, despite the defenders above. Yes she has resigned from the whip, so but so fucking what.

She was clearly having an affair with a married man. Can nobody in this country finish one relationship before starting another? Some of us can. It is not that difficult - it takes patience and restraint and thoughtfulness. That man has children - yet another broken home. No matter how many excuses. Perhaps he knows how many children he has, perhaps he even pays (properly) for them. Who knows? But they broke the lockdown rules - yet another selfish set of people.

Who is sticking to the rules? I mean why bother. Clearly nobody "important" is?

ilovesooty · 01/06/2020 01:04

She's a domestic abuse survivor.

inews.co.uk/news/politics/rosie-duffield-domestic-abuse-speech-house-of-commons-642288

And she's apologised and stood down from the front bench. I think she's suffered enough without being slagged off on the internet. If her constituency party want to deselect her there is a process for that.

spongedog · 01/06/2020 01:09

So I am. Yet I can still conduct myself appropriately. That is beyond no excuse for poor conduct - either his or hers.

Glowcat · 01/06/2020 01:10

Our Prime Minister’s wiki entry says ‘Children At least 6.’ He was elected with a landslide of support. MPs are human. Affairs happen. It’s not pleasant and it’s not pretty but it’s normal.

Glowcat · 01/06/2020 01:14

It’s not my job to go around judging how people conduct their private lives.

ilovesooty · 01/06/2020 01:17

I'm a survivor too. Like Glowcat I don't feel it's my place to judge. Her constituents can do that if they don't want her as their MP any more.

Euclid · 01/06/2020 01:19

He is not her partner if he is married to somebody else. He is her boyfriend or lover.

On a separate but related point, does anyone wonder if the awful PM will marry that unfortunate young woman who has just had his child? It was his ex-wife who initiated the divorce proceedings and, if she had not done so, poor old Carrie would have had a baby with a married man. If he was a gentleman, he would have married her before the baby was born.

spongedog · 01/06/2020 01:30

@Glowcat affairs are not normal. Many people try to justify them, but that is quite different. And it isnt my job to judge, but very sadly I pick up the backlash of the impact of an affair - the impact to my children.

So whilst "society" choose to say that this conduct is OK - children are harmed. And yes my judging includes Boris Johnson - yet another man who seems to be incapable of finishing one relationship before starting another. But also Carrie - she clearly knew that the previous marriage wasnt yet over/completed/finalised.

But dont worry dear - you just look the other way...

Glowcat · 01/06/2020 01:31

My ex definitely had a partner when we were still legally married. She was described as such in legal discussions. She was also living with him in the marital home. I was a lot more distressed by the thought of her using my washing machine than her shagging my (soon to be ex) husband. It was a Miele.

ArriettyJones · 01/06/2020 01:59

YANBU.

“Affair partner” is less confusing.

donquixotedelamancha · 01/06/2020 06:24

Why post about her then?

I'm not sure you really get how MN works. Chatting about crap like this is the entire point of the site.

I found calling him her partner when he was living with his wife odd too. Boyfriend seems more appropriate.

bibliomania · 01/06/2020 07:28

That made me laugh, Glow.

TeaAndStrumpets · 01/06/2020 07:36

Glow that's adding insult to injury! I hear they're not as good as they were, though.