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Original poster

"Married partner" - a bit uncomfortable?

57 replies

Thefifthbeatle · 31/05/2020 23:19

Is it just me who finds it a bit 🤔 that Rosie Duffield is being reported as having broken lockdown to go for a walk with her "married partner"? I mean, if he's finishing your walk and going home to his wife and kids, who don't know anything about his partnership with you, he's not really your "partner", is he? That seems to lend it a legitimacy it doesn't really possess?

Also a bit surprised at her statement about how sad it is when a relationship ends. Well, yes, I suspect it was extremely sad for his wife to find out that he was leaving because he has been having an affair behind her back. With you.

Perhaps going into week 11 of lockdown is just making me a grumpy old cow.

OP posts:
Mumoblue · 01/06/2020 07:40

I mean, yeah, but I can't get too worked up about it. Didnt our PM cheat on his wife while she had cancer? Surely that's worse.
They're obviously both bad but if Diet Trump can get away with it I'm not gonna get all frothy about this lady.

AlternativePerspective · 01/06/2020 07:48

The media are clearly trying to turn this into a far bigger thing.

Her breaking lockdown is the issue here. The same applied to Neil Ferguson who was reported to have met up with his “married lover,” Did the partners find out from the press I wonder? In which case it’s very clear that the press are being deliberately vindictive/stirring. No change there then.

I neither know nor care what goes on in these people’s private lives as long as it’s not illegal. And the press reporting it makes me care even less.

BlackberryCane · 01/06/2020 07:53

@Glowcat

Our Prime Minister’s wiki entry says ‘Children At least 6.’ He was elected with a landslide of support. MPs are human. Affairs happen. It’s not pleasant and it’s not pretty but it’s normal.
Not really. He was elected with a landslide of seats, which is different to a landslide of support. The Tories under him got about 400,000 more votes and 1% more support than under May, when she lost them the majority. That's first past the post for you.

You can still make the point that he was able to lead the party to an election win despite being a slapper, that's reasonable and valid, but it can be done whilst not overstating the level of support he actually had.

Noconceptofnormal · 01/06/2020 07:55

Love all the Whataboutery here because she's (a) a woman and (b) Labour. But what about Boris, hey.

I don't care whether this woman broke lockdown in the same way that I don't care if Dominic Cummings did.

But I'm glad she's not my MP as I don't respect someone who has an affair then has the audacity to call someone else's husband her partner Hmm

Also all she's done is that MP non resigning thing where they resign from their position but they still keep their job as an MP. For most people, resigning is actually resigning from your job, so it's a bit different.

sawollya · 01/06/2020 08:05

Did she have to resign?
That's ridiculous. Look at the PM!

Mumoblue · 01/06/2020 08:08

@Noconceptofnormal
I didn't know or care what her party was, but yeah, what about the PM. Do you think he would have gotten to be PM with 6+ kids and cheating on his spouse with cancer if he was a woman? Sexism is still clearly going strong, and there's nothing wrong with calling it out.

Mascotte · 01/06/2020 08:10

It made me think what a shower of shitbags most politicians are. YANBU.

And I would have thought maybe bring a survivor of abuse might make her more conscious of not causing untold misery to others.

DisgruntledGuineaPig · 01/06/2020 08:11

I think it's trying to suggest they were having an affair, except he'd already separated from his wife, but not divorced. Same status as Boris was in when he moved Carrie into Number 10 with him... separated but not divorced. It's not clear if Rosie Duffield had been the OW or not.

It makes it a more interesting story than "MP met her boyfriend for a walk before socially distanced walks were officially allowed."

Unfortunately for Tories who were hoping to suggest Labour were as bad as them and we could stop talking about Dominic Cummings now, she only went and resigned as Whip straight away - making Dom's reluctance to do the right thing look even worse.

BlackberryCane · 01/06/2020 08:16

Realistically she did have to go yes. She'd made her whip position untenable. It's essentially getting members of the parliamentary party to toe the line. You can't really do that when the papers are full of you breaking the law with a touch of salacious to the story, and she would've caused significant damage to the party by staying after that.

Most politicians understand this, which is also why so many of the Tories called for Cummings to go: they understood how it was undermining their party in the eyes of the public. This would've done too if she hadn't stepped down.

It's a reasonable point by noconceptofnormal that she's still in her MP job. That's the norm in the UK though, MPs don't tend to step down from being MPs unless there's been a more significant breach of the law that's resulted in at least criminal action, if not a conviction (and sometimes even then they wait to be removed!). They just step down from whatever jobs in politics they might have because of that. It's definitely a valid area of discussion though, where the line ought to be drawn. However if it's something that only comes up when a left wing woman is affected, naturally that's going to lead to suspicion.

Institutkarite · 01/06/2020 08:29

Boris' extra marital affairs have been exposed several times. Don't feel too sorry for his ex wife Marina Wheeler, she was pregnant when she married Boris 12 days after his divorce from his first wife.
Married partner is definitely a strange description though.

Deanetta · 01/06/2020 08:36

I’m with you OP. Her phrase ‘partner’ jumped out at me too.. especially given her own comment ‘A relationship breakdown is difficult at the best of times, let alone during a pandemic.’

This certainly implies to me that it wasn’t a case of him being separated from his wife for some time before they got together but living together during lockdown (could be wrong though). To call him her partner is trying to legitimise it to soften the political blow.

Lilybet1980 · 01/06/2020 08:38

She is quoted as saying “a relationship breakdown is difficult at the best of times” which does indicate quite strongly that she was the OW and he was only just in the process of separating.

I will never understand the MN logic. OW consistently get vilified on here but there seems to be quite a bit of support for Rosie Duffield. Is this conversation full of labour supporters?!

Aesopfable · 01/06/2020 08:39

Thefifthbeatle I agree. It jarred with me too and I find it sad that so many people find this so acceptable. And by ‘so many people’ I mean other MPs too. At the very least this involves breaking of public promises, and more often it involves deceit, betrayal, breaking of a family home and sometimes wife/partner left financially screwed after stopping work to support their husband and bring up the kids.

Notejode · 01/06/2020 08:51

Yes, full of labour supporters.

LightenUpSummer · 01/06/2020 09:09

Messy and painful as it is, if the marriage had ended (verbally) then technically she's done nothing morally wrong.

I know very well the pain of a husband moving on to another woman when still legally married, it broke my heart, but I still don't think his new partner actually did anything wrong.

Though it is a mad decision to get involved with a man so quickly after a long relationship has ended.

Aesopfable · 01/06/2020 09:13

if the marriage had ended

If...

wishfuldreamer · 01/06/2020 09:18

@AlternativePerspective - i saw reported in one place that Ferguson's partner was in an open marriage, so I assume her husband knew, and also why she was able to say that she saw their two dwellings as 'one household'. I don't think that's something you would say if it was an affair, but is something you could say if all three people involved knew about each other, and perhaps were friends.

With Rosie Duffield it seems a little less clear - have see it reported that he was 'in the process of separating'. It's unclear what her role in that is, and I'm not sure that I really care. Especially without having the actual full details, which I'm not sure she really has to give anyone.

Flittingabout · 01/06/2020 09:22

Married man she is shagging is clearer to me too.

So many immoral people running the country. I wouldn't want to know any of these cheaters.

nettie434 · 01/06/2020 09:24

@Notejode

Yes, full of labour supporters.
I think what people are trying to say is that this happens in every political party. Both of them (Rosie Duffield and James Routh work in jobs with above average divorce rates.

She has resigned which was the right thing for her to do. I don't think she is receiving more support because of her political party but she is in the opposition and was not involved in any decisions about what is/isn't allowed.

I thought married partner was a strange phrase. I think the news outlets were trying to convey that he was living with his wife when the meeting took place and that he is now living with her. I always worry when there is more emphasis on an MP's personal like than their performance as an MP. It's right she resigned as a Whip but I wouldn't expect her to resign her seat. We couldn't have a by election anyway - local elections have already been postponed, as well as elections for the London assembly and mayor.

HermanHermit · 01/06/2020 09:30

Her marriage and her partner’s marriage ended upon her being caught breaking lockdown with him.
Until that point neither his wife and children nor her husband and children were aware of this partner and presumably they’d have kept it that way.
The language is very carefully minimising and the pair of them moving in together has no doubt been hastened by them being caught and his poor wife throwing him out. Given they’ve only been together since November (he was campaigning for her in the election), it demonstrates pretty poor judgement on both sides to move in so fast but hey, how convent that we the taxpayers provide her with a free flat they can move to together?

Happymum12345 · 01/06/2020 09:30

I am amazed at how having an affair is justified. There is no excuse. Just because she’s been in an abusive relationship, doesn’t make this ok. When there are children involved, it can tear the foundations out of their lives.

Original poster
Thefifthbeatle · 01/06/2020 09:33

I'm honestly not saying this for political reasons; I'm a lifelong labour voter. But I don't think either she or Boris are covering themselves in glory.

OP posts:
LightenUpSummer · 01/06/2020 09:42

I'll admit, I like her and that's clouding my judgement Sad

MinteeFresh · 01/06/2020 09:46

I judge. She was shagging a married man whose wife had no idea. It only came out because they got caught. It wasn't just a walk either, she has admitted he came to her house - for a shag presumably. That's a really shit thing to do to another woman, particularly when locked down with your cheating husband during a scary global pandemic.

MinteeFresh · 01/06/2020 09:47

But not as much as I judge Boris Johnsn, yes, who is a serial unfaithful shagger.