Was I AIBU to walk out of supermarket.

[Witchcraftandhokum]

I went to a supermarket which isn't my usual one today. There was a queue outside, but it moved pretty fast and was ably managed by staff who were also helpfully cleaning trollies. All well and good. However, inside was a different matter, it felt really busy and barely any of the customers (the majority of which were waring face masks) were adhering to the social distancing rules. I had a woman reach round me to get something and people were passing really close.

I got to the end with of an aisle which was blocked by 3 members of staff 2 of the large trollies they use to stack shelves. I couldn't safely pass so I turned around and tried to go up the next aisle which was empty and was loudly told off my a member of staff for not following the arrows, I tried to explain that I couldn't get up the other aisle but he just walked off. At that point I picked my shopping bags out of my trolley and walked out. Was I unreasonable.

Customers are just as bad the number of people I've told to step back is ridiculous. Specially when I'm nowhere near any of them and in a carefully selected corner out the way of everyone and they think it's ok to come stand right near me. I told the same guy twice to step away from me the third
time would of been not so polite. I have a right to protect myself just like customers do

Don't blame you OP I would have done the same.

Did you not think to say "excuse me"

Well it’s a supermarket and oaths are going to cross without intent.

You went on a Friday day time which I assume is a peak time. Had you gone on a Tuesday after 6 I’m sure it wouldn’t have been busy.

Personally I’d have just walked up to the staff in the hope they’d notice and step aside. If they didn’t, I would have walked past regardless.

They work there day in day out so they’ll be used to it and won’t be hyperventilating at the thought of someone walking past them.

For folk that only get out to do the shopping it’s probably more ‘scared my’

So I’m answer to your question- you weren’t BU to walk out (although no one would care) if you have underlying health issues or are in the vulnerable category.

If you’re not in that category then you’ve just wasted your own time really sadly.

You can’t win. You just have to make the best of it. If that happens to me I just turn my head the opposite way walk past as fast as I can...

Thing is- I work as a key worker in a bank and the amount of people that hand me thing they’ve licked or coughed on etc... so I feel I’m more at risk at risk at work than the supermarket

Is this similar to when someone announces that they are leaving a group on social media?

You know the FLOUNCING OFF....

I'm going now..... look at me... I went... haven't you noticed yet...

Round of applause - what a superstar you are!

ThePenIsBlue

so right - so many DRAMA LLAMA'S OUT THERE

So many adults need to just GET A GRIP and stop being so hysterical

YANBU, lots of people don't get the self distancing. If you feel unsafe then you did the right thing.

I mean seriously

"Herbie0987 Fri 29-May-20 19:58:15
I understand what you are saying. I was waiting to get to the flour in Lidl when a woman passed right by me to pick up a bag, I don’t think some people know what 2metres is."

Are you dead yet Herbie? ..... what the heck is wrong with people... someone 'passed right by' ..... get a grip!

So MANY hysterical people

I don't know why people are accusing op of being a drama llama or hysterical. Does it make you feel more in control? Do you like to think you don't 'need' to observe social distancing? Does it make you feel better to think you are different to the 'hysterical' people?

Hate to burst your bubble, but you are as at risk as the next person.

But if it makes you feel better to belittle others, carry on.

It won't make you less susceptible to illness. Perhaps spend a bit more time reflecting on your own responses. It looks to me from what you are saying on this thread that you are probably more frightened than you are willing to admit to yourselves. Protesting a bit too much there.

In fact, I'd go so far as to say you come across as positively histrionic.

The thing is we are not all at the same risk at all.

Some people are very vulnerable, some are vulnerable and some have barely any symptoms at all.... different levels of risk

You don't actually think we are all going to die if we get it do you? Seriously you really don't.

At that point I picked my shopping bags out of my trolley and walked out. Was I unreasonable
Does it matter?
Does anyone care?
Did you receive the validation and hi fives you were after?

HTH

You have no way of knowing your personal level of risk beyond the very blindingly obvious.

Your level of risk is exactly the same as those who are taking social distancing seriously. I'm not high risk. I'm not vulnerable. I am as capable as you of catching the virus and unwittingly passing it to others while incubating it, or while being asymptomatic.

Those I unwittingly pass it to may be more vulnerable than me.

Or I could pass it to you.

And even if you are not obviously vulnerable, you may become seriously unwell.

Of course I don't think we are all going to die. What a hysterical thing to suggest. Again, does it make you feel better to imagine I'm inflating the level of risk in my own mind? I'm not.

You however seem to be minimising it. The question you need to ask yourself is why you feel you need to do that. What is frightening you?

There is no good reason for anyone to go within 2 meters of another person in a supermarket. Being hysterical about it when people object is very irrational. This virus has a long incubation period. Social distancing protects those vulnerable to it and so we all need to avoid catching and spreading it to those vulnerable people. It doesn't matter if you and I are not vulnerable. It's still a problem if we spread it between ourselves. Not because we are likely to die, but because we are likely to unwittingly spread it to others who are vulnerable.

Reflect on why you feel the need to minimise the risk. Does it make you feel safer?

I'm in favour of getting everyone back to work asap by the way, with appropriate social distancing measures. Managing the risk sensibly is the way forward.

Dismissing people who take sensible precautions seriously as hysterical or as drama llamas is, ironically, the only histrionic response I'm seeing on this thread.

It's a silly thing to post about, and ask for opinions on. Every time someone goes to a supermarket now, they post about some issue or other.

YANBU. My pet peeve at the moment is people who wear masks then think that absolves them from social distancing. I was the only person at the butchers the other day and a woman wearing a mask came close enough to touch me as she perused the display. When I asked her to move away she laughed and said "oops, I keep forgetting", well you clearly don't forget to put your mask on.

@SnowsInWater

YANBU. My pet peeve at the moment is people who wear masks then think that absolves them from social distancing. I was the only person at the butchers the other day and a woman wearing a mask came close enough to touch me as she perused the display. When I asked her to move away she laughed and said "oops, I keep forgetting", well you clearly don't forget to put your mask on.

If it's any consolation, the mask she is wearing protects you from her far more than it protects her from you - so if she has the virus the mask makes it less likely you will catch it but if you have the virus, then by coming close she is still likely to catch it from you.

Amusing, no ;-)

For those scoffing at the mask wearers, they are being altruistic. They are spending their hard earned money on masks that protect you from them, not them from you. And if everyone took the same approach, we would all be better off.

But, like the prisoners dilemma, it only works if we all play ball. Only takes a few entitled wankers scoffing at the 'hysterical' folk (either because they don't have the emotional intelligence to understand their own reaction or the intellect to understand the science) and ignoring social distancing to put the vulnerable who live among us at risk.

Personally, I think you should have paid for the items you had selected and gone elsewhere (making a mental note not to shop there again).

I did chat to the assistant at my local supermarket and asked why they could not do the one way thing and they said people would not follow it.

So may not be much that shops can do if they are busy.

Our local quieter shop with sells much less has a brilliant one way system (but not much food!).

Like many posters I cannot see the point of the outside queue and the signs everywhere and the one way systems if we are all being hysterical and have no chance of catching the virus in places like supermarkets.

My stress levels spike every time a masked shopper reaches across me. I don't care if they think the SD rules are silly and hysterical. I care they have so little courtesy for the fact I don't.

I've also been brushed past by supermarket assistants. I appreciate they warm minimum wage and are working hard, but again given they are in that environment for their shift you'd think staying 2m away from the customers is for their own safety.

YWBU to leave the trolley OP. You were not being U to leave a place you didn't feel safe.

MMN123 your posts are very well written and make some very valid points, but you’re doing the exact same thing as the people you are criticising. You say they’re minimising the risk and are suggesting people are doing it because they’re frightened, which is jumping to a few conclusions in an attempt to belittle people.

Reflect on why you feel the need to minimise the risk. Does it make you feel safer? Don’t be patronising, clearly others have carried out their own risk assessment and decided that passing someone in a supermarket is acceptable. What you are suggesting isn’t minimising risk, it seems to be suggesting we eradicate that risk completely.

There is no good reason for anyone to go within 2 meters of another person in a supermarket. Of course I have zero evidence here, but I’d like to say I think this is completely wrong. I genuinely believe it would be impossible for everyone in the country to access everything they needed/wanted in the supermarket if no one came within 2m of each other. There’s only so many hours in the day and only so many square meter of supermarket flooring. Perhaps the fact that it definitely hasn’t happened is evidence enough?

I would be very curious to know; would the posters who have called OP a “drama llama” shouted that IRL if they saw someone abandon a shopping trolley with some lemons and a birthday card in it? I doubt very much the “drama llama” comments come from the action itself, but rather the need to post on an Internet forum about it. For most people, leaving a supermarket having changed your mind wouldn’t make headline news in a days worth of activities.
I don't know why people are accusing op of being a drama llama or hysterical. Because instead of lightly brushing off the incident, she has retold the story to the world.

Actually supermarkets pay more than minimum wage

YADNBU! I have found it easier to stick to my local S/B supermarket TBH. The staff are all friendly, and there is not too much of a queue midweek when I shop.A lot of people seem to think SD is a thing of the past now! I wait for people to move along ,and like them to do likewise however on busy aisles(fruit/veg/cheese/cold meats )and so on just a bit of a free for all! Had a very bad experience with a rude shopworker in a different S/M at start of lockdown myself.Just stick to your usual S/M and you have every right to feel aggreived and put your shopping down .Isnt the customer usually right?!

You're sorry you asked? What do you expect, some people will think you're being UR, some won't?

Tbh I think it’s super rude abandoning a trolly full of shopping for someone else to put back. 🤷🏻‍♀️