Bf meeting his friends gf alone

[user1490910199]

Ok so we are both 32, we have a child each, we are sensible responsible adults. Were serious and are talking about moving in.

This is the thing, he has a friend who he knew before she met her now bf, he is friends with him now too. Tonight he is going to meet just her, the bf is out somewhere.

They've never dated etc, i do trust him so its not that i think anything's going to happen its more just, isnt that weird?! Like i cant imagine on a fri night just going an meeting a friends bf, even if i did know him first. I dont know, am i being unnecessarily jealous?xx

It makes me laugh that if a woman posted on here saying her boyfriend wouldn’t allow her to see a male mate everyone would call him jealous and abusive and controlling. If a woman shows those qualities she’s insecure. Hmm ok. Women can be controlling too. (I’m not a man)

Can’t believe the small number of people who wouldn’t be happy with or date a man who had a female friend.

Or even the one poster who believed Friday and Saturday nights are date nights and you’re not allowed to see your friends.

My husband has a female friend, she’s lovely. He’s worked with her for years. I don’t give a shit when he goes for a drink with her, I’m usually asked to go and would rather not. I’ve also met her partner many times, and he’s also lovely.

I also have Male friends, who I socialise with. My husband has met them and doesn’t bat an eyelid.

I simply can’t imagine saying to my husband you can’t be friends with her because she’s a woman. I can be the only woman you spend time with other than your mother etc.

I also can’t imagine my husband saying to me you can’t be friends with men, I’m the only man you can spend time with, I’d honestly tell him to go fuck himself hard.

It’s jealousy and insecurity pure and simple if you can’t permit or be with someone who has a friend of the opposite gender. No way round it.

Has lockdown completely ended, then? Where is he going to with her?

Surely it's actually a good thing if a guy has female friends, especially long term ones?

Get a grip

Your boyfriend is meeting a friend, do you not have friends? Or do you have to give up friendships when you get in a relationship?

I can't believe anyone would have a problem with this. She did not become someone's property when she got in a relationship and neither did your boyfriend.

I wouldn't date someone who held another woman in such high regard.
Of course. It's always better to get involved with men who hold other women in low regard, isn't it? Because men who hold women in low regard (except you, to begin with of course) are such good relationship material.

Why have you 'demoted' her?
If he knew her first then surely he is meeting his friend.

Her boyfriend is his friend's boyfriend. His friend started seeing someone and so through his friend, he struck up a friendship with her boyfriend.

But you've flipped it. Why?

Wow you’re extremely sexist.

Good Lord chubbyhotchoc, please tell me you're single?

That amount of control freakery is bordering on abusive.

The amount of people who only want a partner if they can stop them having friends is scary.

Not only that OP has demoted the friend to friends girlfriend. Bizarre.

Meeting her is important clearly. I wouldn't date someone who held another woman in such high regard. I wouldn't care about being the 'cool' girlfriend.
The only way this is right is if he's refused to see op during lockdown but is now seeing his mate. And tbf I'd feel the same regardless of the sex of the mate.

If my male friend didn't live 100miles away I'd def be planning on visiting him with the new relaxations and it would prob be a Fri or Sat night for logictical reasons.

I guess it could be a Sunday afternoon and then presumably that would suggest I cared about him less and we're less likely to accidentally find myself having sex with him

Meeting her is important clearly. I wouldn't date someone who held another woman in such high regard. I wouldn't care about being the 'cool' girlfriend.

Would you give up your friends at the request of your DP?

It's always better to get involved with men who hold other women in low regard, isn't it? Because men who hold women in low regard (except you, to begin with of course) are such good relationship material

👍 Absolutely this. Never look for a man who sees women as equals. Men should only ever see women as being for sex / reproduction.

From another perspective; I’ve been out the pub with my husband’s friend alone occasionally and neither dh or friends dw batted an eyelash. They know that we’re pals, have similar humour and interests and that’s it. No cheating, flirting or anything inappropriate I’d be ashamed of. My dh has been out with my girl friends without me and I wouldn’t even consider anything untoward was going on

@WorraLiberty very much married. I wouldn't control anyone. It just wouldn't be for me to be with someone with close female friends that they socialise with on a 1 to 1 basis so I'd bow out and leave him to it.

If you read my post I said 'high regard' in relation to the current socialising situation as in she's so important that he had to see her in lockdown.

Posters here are just leading the op into heartbreak. Friday nights and Saturday nights are date nights these are times you spend With your boyfriend or girlfriend if you have one.

What's Friday and Saturday exclusively for date night?
Friday nights are usually reserved for dh to go out with a couple of his friends, it's been a regular thing for 2 years since another friend unfortunately died.
If we want to go out for a date, we just do it?

very much married. I wouldn't control anyone. It just wouldn't be for me to be with someone with close female friends that they socialise with on a 1 to 1 basis so I'd bow out and leave him to it.

Genuine question as I find this such an unusual approach - removing lockdown from the equation... why?

Is it because you think it means they will cheat?

I guess I think I wouldn't be with someone I didn't trust to have platonic friends of either sex.

So in that sense you saying you wouldn't want a partner to see female friends one on one, feels to me like you're saying you don't trust them?

And without trust there's no real relationship surely. This isn't goady I promise I genuinely just can't understand the line of thinking unless you believe your partner is likely to cheat on you.

Don’t be THAT girlfriend. You’re being a bit silly

My now ex boyfriend used to go to the cinema with my female friend if I wasn't around. I went to parkrun with my friend's husband. It's all good. People can cheat, but we can't use that as a readon not to do anything. And this is a friend, not just the GF of a friend.

[quote chubbyhotchoc]@WorraLiberty very much married. I wouldn't control anyone. It just wouldn't be for me to be with someone with close female friends that they socialise with on a 1 to 1 basis so I'd bow out and leave him to it. [/quote]
So during the course of your marriage, your DH isn't allowed to make any female friends, or you'll divorce him?

Is divorce what you mean by 'bow out'?

It just wouldn't be for me to be with someone with close female friends that they socialise with on a 1 to 1 basis

So can your DH socialise with two women together? If he was meeting say Jenny and Johnny from work one Sat afternoon and en route Johnny cancels x would your DH have to cancel Jenny because they can't be alone? It's just so odd imo

@HollowTalk

Has lockdown completely ended, then? Where is he going to with her?

One assumes a socially distanced visit so no accidental snogging or penis insertion at least

Dh has only male friends he would socialise with. I have only female friends I would socialise with. Otherwise we'd socialise as a couple with other couples. So yes id be highly suspicious if he suddenly wanted to spend time with a woman from work or whatever. How many posts on here do we see with women upset because their dh/dp is suddenly texting and going for drinks with a woman whilst claiming 'friendship'? And how many replies to they get with everyone telling the woman to kick him to the curb?

What if Sally started wittering at his place of work hypothetical post apocalypse Monday and they disgust over team lunch they both like the same music or movies. Can they have lunch together at work or is that disallowed? Does he feel the same as you Re you and men. I'm genuinely curious / baffled.

The worst thing about the lockdown timing is not spending a day in the nearby city with my male friends who would have to travel 2 hours each way to see me. DH is not invited.