I've never seen Titanic. I want spoilers. Wrong answers only, please.

[TwatCat]

Ok so I have seen it, but AIBU to ask you for spoilers?
Wrong answers only though please!

I asked my Mum if she used slate at school.

Britney Spears now wears Rose's necklace.

I find it very sad, that you all think it is amusing to make fun of such a tragedy.
Too soon?

So it's new years eve and everyone is at a party on the boat, but there's a tsunami which flips the boat upside down.

Various tragedies befall the intrepid band of survivors as they try and make their way off the boat.

They head towards what looks like an iceberg, except Jack says "that's no iceberg" and he's right, it's the Death Star. They get pulled in by it's tractor beam where Jack finds out Darth Vader has captured Rose for being a rebel spy and rescues her. They nearly get crushed by the Death Star's trash compactor but they make it out, escape and blow up the iceberg, sorry, Death Star, before it crashes into America.

Aliens done it.

Or alternatively, one of the partners in a hackneyed cop duo has Gwyneth Paltrow's head delivered to them in a cardboard box.

Beth dies.

Jack woke up and found himself in the shower, it was all a dream...

The old lady kept the necklace, took it to the antiques roadshow show and found out it was worth millions. She yells "fuck yes!!" at Fiona Bruce, sells the necklace and moves to St Tropez. She takes a toyboy lover and dies of a heart attack whilst in the throes of passion.

They were all dead the whole time.

I find it very sad, that you all think it is amusing to make fun of such a tragedy.
You're being too harsh.
It was an awful film, but I wouldn't call it a tragedy.
"No icebergs were harmed in the making of this film"

I love the synchronised swimming musical ending with the dancing polar bears. Total plot twist but it made the film!

Boat docks in New York a day early. Rose and Jack live happily ever after.

@IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 I cried at the Titanic exhibition in Liverpool (that music) but this thread is just about the film which isn't a documentary by any means.

There was a sequel.

And the first film was conveyed entirely through the medium of mime.

Secretly convinced she can do better in NY Kate keeps pushing Leo off the door into the freezing water.

*Robux'. To thee i tip my hat your commitment to your craft is admirable well done Madam, well done indeed

They get stuck in traffic on the way to the harbour, miss the boat and take the train instead.

The heat generated by all the dancing on the ship melts through the ice berg and they all survive. Kate Winslet takes over the helm of the ship and drives it to Brighton and they all have a big party.

The ship dodges the iceberg and to celebrate the passengers and crew go out on deck and perform elaborately choreographed dance routines which they then upload to TikTok.

They then throw Celine Dion overboard for screeching and caterwauling that bloody awful song.

Quality thread

It's a lovely bus

Isn't that the one with David Tennant as the Doctor and Kylie Minogue as a plucky waitress?

I love the bit at the end when Rose shares the door :)

Re. the actual film, was I the only one who sat in the cinema silently screaming "just drown, you fuckers, and put the audience out of its misery"?

Right misanthropist, me.