to think that children aren't people...

[BumpBundle]

My son is 11mo. We were planning on having a birthday party for him inviting my parents, my sister and BIL, my SIL and her husband, four godparents and MIL and FIL. We're thinking a picnic so we're outside, can bring our own food and maintain social distancing.
Obviously this is too many people - only being allowed up to 6. However, it would work quite well to do three separate picnics.

1. My mum, my dad, my husband, me, my sister, my brother in law = 6 people.
2. Four godparents, my husband, me = 6 people.
3. My sister-in-law, her husband, my father-in-law, his wife, my husband, me = 6 people.

Unfortunately, this perfect plan is somewhat scuppered if we allow my son to attend his own first birthday party. AIBU to have seven people if one of them is only one year old, from our household and obviously will be socially distanced from the others?

Christ, people are being both horrible and ridiculous.

a) of course it's ok to see two other couples at a time. Six isn't a magic number.
b) it is actually irrelevant anyway that this is for your child's birthday, but I think it's incredibly mean and miserable that people are giving you a hard time for wanting to have a picnic - not a champagne reception, a fucking picnic - with both sets of grandparents, the godparents and the baby's aunts and uncles. If that's people's idea of an excessive, blow-out party then I dread to think how sad their lives normally are. And I think that's the point - the only real mistake you made was to ask on MN, where you sadly attracted all the hysterical shopping-washers who want everyone to stay locked-down forever because they personally hate social contact anyway.

@MarieQueenofScots of course I am - children ARE people FFS

BTW - I’ll be meeting up with one other couple - because 4 adults and 2 children equates to six.

Pretty simple eh?

Hey OP, I didn't say you were lying.
I just think the risk of actually not distancing whatever your good intentions is increased when you are meeting for a celebration with a small child (that GPs and Aunts/Uncles may well want to cuddle...).

If you are confident you will be able to stay distanced then crack on, but have them a week apart.

Don't you think it'd be worse for your son to see and sit near all those people who love him but not be allowed to interact, than to just not see them at all?

@Clymene

FFS premier league football players are already training. If you can play football with a random bunch of 15 -20 blokes, you can sit in a park with your family with a babe in arms over and above the finger in the air guidance of 6 people.

I thought it was individual training only and all Premier League players and staff were being tested before being allowed to take part, but otherwise exactly the same principle

YABU for having a party at all for your child's first birthday - let alone three parties! It's not like your baby will even know it's his birthday or remember he had/didn't have a party.

In a situation where there are either three chances of infecting your baby, or none, why would you choose the three? Seems like a no-brainer to me, but then I admit I am a miserable old cow.

Under 1s don’t count
Age 4 and under count as half people
Age 5+ full people

6 people, 8 people it’s all fairly arbitrary at this point.

@byvirtue So I need to have the parties before his birthday, not after haha.

I think the risk is that your baby crawls or toddles to a grandparent who can't then resist a cuddle. And could then potentially become a carrier if it happens again the next day. You say he is very clingy to you at the moment, but it's an untested situation so could potentially become very stressful if he keeps trying to go to other people and being pulled away again.

But it's your call. It's not something I can get worked up about tbh.

YABU for having a party at all for your child's first birthday - let alone three parties! It's not like your baby will even know it's his birthday or remember he had/didn't have a party.

Don't be so silly! First birthdays are a brilliant reason for celebrating, but they're for the parents not the kid IMO. It's a fuck-me-that-year-was-intense-but-look-we-survived! kind of event.

BumpBundle, your plan sounds great, enjoy your picnics!

Try not to overthink things just have fun at his party

Exactly and you will be fine

After 10 weeks of isolation he won’t be jumping on strangers and most of you will have had little contact with others and will be low risk.

Enjoy seeing your friends and family.

It's not about being pious OP. I think people are right in pointing out that whilst doable within the law, it doesn't exactly follow the spirit to be mixing households like that.
If you're all social distancing then why not do a Cummings and just ignore the rules, have one gathering. It's the same mixing of households either way and it's highly unlikely that once there nobody will give DC a cuddle so there's social distancing broken anyway as baby gets passed around everyone.

I'm not seriously suggesting a mass gathering by the way.

Tbh, I’m sure you’ll be able to explain it away as following a mother’s instincts, particularly if you all need to drive to a local beauty spot simultaneously for a family eyesight test. What’s good enough for Cummings...

Just ask “what would Dom do?”

Dom would clearly be fine with 7 as there will be some extenuating circumstance.

But seriously, use common sense - there is no more risk as long as you keep 2m apart.

@Clymene

FFS premier league football players are already training. If you can play football with a random bunch of 15 -20 blokes, you can sit in a park with your family with a babe in arms over and above the finger in the air guidance of 6 people.

You can not compare this situation with football. Each club will receive up to 80 tests to ensure 40 players and staff can be tested twice a week.

Jesus christ this thread. Ignore vast majority of pp OP. In the real world people celebrate first birthdays and, shock horror, grandparents are usually interested and invovled.

No, your child doesnt count, yes your plans sound absolutely fine.

Well done for giving the dementors a new thread to froth over, they are pleased deep down.

Move to Scotland

Keep your baby on your shoulder the whole time and you will just count as one long person.

Sorted 👍

I'm in Scotland and thankfully we can have 8 and be in our own gardens with them from tomorrow.

Which will be wonderful if you have a big enough garden. Most people couldn’t have 8 people remaining 2m apart, even if they are 4 couples. We’ve got a pretty big garden but couldn’t manage it.

Misses the point but you're a better woman than me to organise three picnics for a first birthday party. Sounds a lot of drama.

@Spillinteas Or just shove him back up my jumper? I'm only 5'1 so I'd probably be a normal height with him on top.

@MintyMabel you can also meet in a public park if you like too, not just gardens. It's 1 other family though, up to 8 people so wouldn't be 4 couples 2 metres apart.
A lot of these rules seem pretty arbitrary tbh.