to think that children aren't people...

[BumpBundle]

My son is 11mo. We were planning on having a birthday party for him inviting my parents, my sister and BIL, my SIL and her husband, four godparents and MIL and FIL. We're thinking a picnic so we're outside, can bring our own food and maintain social distancing.
Obviously this is too many people - only being allowed up to 6. However, it would work quite well to do three separate picnics.

1. My mum, my dad, my husband, me, my sister, my brother in law = 6 people.
2. Four godparents, my husband, me = 6 people.
3. My sister-in-law, her husband, my father-in-law, his wife, my husband, me = 6 people.

Unfortunately, this perfect plan is somewhat scuppered if we allow my son to attend his own first birthday party. AIBU to have seven people if one of them is only one year old, from our household and obviously will be socially distanced from the others?

@Thisismeimabitch and @thefuriousfuggler Thank you for the clarification :)

My worry would be, how can you really be sure that you’ll be able to keep him away from people?

You haven’t had a test case - saying he’s very attached to you and your husband based on the last few weeks of not seeing anyone is one thing, but you can’t actually know he won’t want lots of cuddles until the day itself when he might surprise you! At which point surely it will then be quite stressful, potentially?

Didn't BoJo add a caveat that while 6 people can meet, you shouldn't mix with too many households. Sounds like you're seeing 6 households at least and that's really not in the spirit.

Haha the very definition of PFB.

I think it's a bit much for a first birthday as baby has no idea. I'd just wait for a bit and celebrate later but I'm in the vulnerable group so perhaps that impacts on my point of view.

Will be hard for family not to instinctively cuddle him as well - this is my worry re seeing grandparents
They did advise to limit mixing from lots of different households as well
I think 6 adults and a baby is ok though

If you are only doing what a responsible parent would it’s fine. Especially if you all get your eyes tested at the same time! I think it’s not clear if small children count or not. Interpret the rules safely and responsibly but as you see fit seems to be the message and buckle up for the next go around the coronacoaster.

Didn't BoJo add a caveat that while 6 people can meet, you shouldn't mix with too many households
This is a good point. How many households is that all together combining all the picnics?

It’s bonkers to hold three birthday celebrations for a one year old, yes.

Are people really not understanding that it's not the birthday per se - OP just wants to meet up with family and friends, having not done so for three months. OP do it and enjoy!

@ArriettyJones

The chances of him having the infection without me or my husband having it are near-impossible and he won't be close enough to spread the infection to anyone else even if he did have it...

(Forgot to address that bit)

The ADULTS!! Stop obsessing about the baby. Whether the baby is a person....Whether the baby is infected...How many picnics the baby wants...

You’re saying you are going to organise three picnics, on three successive days, for three groups of adults, any of whom might be infected.

The baby is neither here not there. The baby won’t even know it is having a birthday.

Hahaha brilliant.

@Toilenstripes

We must ask ourselves WWDD?

Doesn't it mean the same 6 people not a party split into 3
You just stand more chance of catching a killer virus having 3 parties.

If children aren’t people then what are they? Invisible pigs can fly

Honestly OP

6 is an entirely arbitrary number.

This is why it's okay to spend all day sitting 2 metres away from 4 other groups of people in a park as long as you don't know them and not okay to do the same with people you know in a garden.

They are rules based around the fact that they know a lot of people won't stick to them.

So have lovely picnics. Hope you enjoy them.

Just what I was thinking - is a baby (4 weeks old) a person, and currently not yet registered. Why not have 3 picnics, we've been starved of contact for so long and some happy memories of this time will be good to have it seems important to you. Your more likely to be 2 metres away unlike queuing outside supermarket where it seems to be 2 feet. I hope you enjoy your picnics xxx

Yeah, what everyone else has said. I would consider an 11mo baby to be effectively an appendage of their mother. Presumably they are never out if your sight, or without you, so as far as infection control goes, you are effectively one "infectious unit".

To me number of people less important than number of households.
So all members of 2 households, even if that’s more than 6 people would be ok but 3 households is riskier.
You need to have separate meet ups for each household, not on the same day.

I think I'd just pare down the celebrations or just space them out over a month or two. It does seem a lot to go from nothing to that number of people in presumably a few days. And it might be quite overwhelming for your son if he's not been around people in so long to suddenly be around so many people with him the centre of attention!

I'd be inclined to just do one picnic with grandparents for the time being and do the rest in the weeks ahead rather than trying to cram it all into a few days.

I'd ask yourself, if you were wanting genuine guidance from a leader who actually gives a fuck - What Would Jacinda Do.

If he's crawling about as he probably is I would say he won't be social distant unless you fancy picking him up every few seconds. However, I'm sure it will not make an iota of difference so go for it.

Of course YANBU.

The government have made it clear it is acceptable to “act on your instincts”.

In this case your instinct is that a baby doesn’t count in the “6 person” limit.

Go for it and enjoy your meet ups

I think you're getting an unreasonably tough time OP, but that's the nature of the world at the moment. It's not unreasonable to want to celebrate your baby's first birthday - it's as much a milestone for you as it is for him. And personally, I don't think its unreasonable to celebrate it with your loved ones - spacing it out by at least a week seems sensible. Are any of your friends/relatives particularly vulnerable? I'd probably think twice if that were the case, but otherwise you're sticking to the rules (pretty much) which is more than can be said for significant swathes of the population.

Of course he’s a person. Stick to rules.

Sounds fine

FFS premier league football players are already training. If you can play football with a random bunch of 15 -20 blokes, you can sit in a park with your family with a babe in arms over and above the finger in the air guidance of 6 people.