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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report the pair of them

112 replies

MaMaD1990 · 28/05/2020 15:36

So I've just kept my opinions to myself if I've seen anyone breaking lockdown rules but lunchtime today im putting rubbish out and i see my neighbours mother drive round and start unloading her stuff from the car - she's bloody decided to come for a little visit!! This annoys me not only because it breaks the rules but her son has also been tooing and froing between his flat and his girlfriends flat and having the girlfriend and her daughter over etc (yes i know, nosey). AIBU to report them both or should i just leave it and put my energy elsewhere?

OP posts:
Somewhereinthesky · 28/05/2020 16:40

Unless it's affecting your life, just forget abut it. I think a lot of people got annoyed by others one way or another during lockdown, but I assume most of people wouldn't report. I don't break rules, but what can I do about others? It's better to get on with your own life then using negative energy.

Original poster
MaMaD1990 · 28/05/2020 16:40

@Brieandcheddar haha this made me laugh!

OP posts:
Original poster
MaMaD1990 · 28/05/2020 16:42

@peperethecat apparently so when it comes to abbreviations (i grew out of that quite some time ago!)

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 28/05/2020 16:42

my neighbours son has been coming over every day now for about 2 weeks-hes shielding aswell but its not my business and i dont thin the police can do anything now

Original poster
MaMaD1990 · 28/05/2020 16:43

@Somewhereinthesky wise words! Thank you!

OP posts:
peperethecat · 28/05/2020 16:44

(i grew out of that quite some time ago!)

And yet you haven't grown out of wanting to tell on people when you see them doing something you think is naughty.

I bet you were the one always running to the teacher squealing, "Miiiiiiss! Miiiiiiiss!"

everybodysang · 28/05/2020 16:46

Holy shit this thread is an eye opener. No wonder we have the rate we do...

My neighbours had visitors last weekend, three different sets (I wasn't curtain twitching, we were in the garden and so were they, where we can hear them very clearly). I was really angry but had to let it go. I understand why you are annoyed.

It looks like everyone has just given up, both with following the guidelines and also with trying to be kind to each other.

BirdieFriendReturns · 28/05/2020 16:46

I’m going to stay at my parents temporarily. DH is military and has a new posting. We have to move out of our current house (married quarters) as it’s needed for another family next week. They have failed to find us a new house due to shortages at his new base. So I have nowhere to live! DH can stay in a room in the mess.

dustyparadeground · 28/05/2020 16:50

I do think after Cummings and his "Cummings and Goings" so to speak, all control has been lost. And the police have said as much. He should at least get 3 fines for his car trips

loobyloo1234 · 28/05/2020 16:51

Get a hobby OP. Maybe one that distracts you from sitting watching other people from your window all day

SoupInTheLaundryBag · 28/05/2020 16:52

Shall I tell you a story OP?

I have an adult DD who lives almost 200 miles away. She suffers with anxiety and lockdown has been utterly hell for her. We've FaceTimed a lot but slowly, despite having her partner there, her anxiety has increased. The Doctor increased her medication but she was properly struggling.

Imagine my shock Saturday morning when I opened the front door to a sobbing child with an overnight bag. Sunday afternoon she headed home, refreshed and much happier, ready to deal with whatever comes next.
She's my daughter and she was struggling. Had a neighbour reported me I'd have happily paid the fine.

We only see a snippet of peoples lives. We don't know the circumstances.

Somewhereinthesky · 28/05/2020 16:52

preparethecat, I think if the OP is the kind you describe, she would have reported already. Everyone's at the breaking point. She has done nothing wrong in posting here. She's got the message.

Purplepeonies · 28/05/2020 16:53

I don't think I would do anything, but I would be angry. I'm hating seeing people flout the rules whilst I'm bored shitless.

Lweji · 28/05/2020 16:59

I don't think I would do anything, but I would be angry. I'm hating seeing people flout the rules whilst I'm bored shitless.
You know them too, then? Wink

For all the OP knows their mother needs support or there are excellent reasons.

Some people clearly need to get out more, catch some sun, breathe deeply and mind their own lives.

HesterShaw1 · 28/05/2020 16:59

My mum is currently staying with my sister and her kids. She drove there and has been there for a week. Her mental health was crumbling before our eyes, as our dad only died recently.

Would you report her too?

Mind your own bloody business.

peperethecat · 28/05/2020 16:59

@Somewhereinthesky I think I'm just fed up to the back teeth of all these threads in AIBU saying "shall I report my neighbour for X?"

No. We do not live in a fucking police state. This is not East Berlin in the 1970s, or Gilead, or Airstrip One.

BirdieFriendReturns · 28/05/2020 17:01

Well seeing as I have nowhere to live due to the incompetence of the military, I have no qualms going to my parents. The houses we own are rented out. Can’t self isolate if you’re homeless either.

Defenbaker · 28/05/2020 17:08

YANBU to feel annoyed if your neighbours seem to be ignoring the guidelines, but it would be unreasonable to report to the police - they have more imoortant things to deal with. Many people are bored of the lockdown and missing social interaction, so there are more people breaking rules. That's why the givernment hesitated to begin the lockdown - they knew it couldn't be sustained for longer than a few weeks and didn't want people to stop complying too soon.

When you're at home for weeks on end you notice your neighbours' movements more, but just try to ignore these people and concentrate on keeping yourself safe.

BatShite · 28/05/2020 17:23

I wouldn't report know, nowt to do with me. A few neighbours have been breaking it since the start tbh from what I have seen (though I don't know all circumstances etc). Then pretty much all of them seemed to reach the fuck it point a couple of weeks back. I am still in lockdown mode personally, but I cannot find the energy to be worked up about others seeing family and such. If they were having huge parties or something, maybe.

My opinion may be influenced by the street hatred of one of the neighbours who did report someone early on and bragged about it as if it was brilliant though. A guy at the bottom of our street is dying. Hes been terminally ill for a while now, and was told just before lockdown that he has weeks to a couple of months left. Hes just taking painkillers and such at home, his minds still there and he doesnt appear to need carers. Anyway, long story short, his daughter came to see him a week after lockdown started, apparently stayed 'nearly half a bloody hour' according to nosy neighbour. Said neighbour reported it then told loads of people that the daughter is clearly a selfish cunt and should be locked up for putting her dad at risk like that. Etc. Turned out, guy had decided that yeah hes high risk, but basically he might die during the lockdown so he would rather see her if she would, and also despite not needing carers he does have issues shopping and such so she had brought him some stuff he needed at the same time. Not that thats any of anyones business, especially not some nosy twat who wants to 'do her bit' by reporting family members for giving their dying relatives a short bit of company at their request.

So yeah, I might be a bit..biased due to that incident. But I think even without that, I would not be reporting people..unless it was a huge gathering. Maybe.

Aretheystillasleepbob · 28/05/2020 17:24

No-one cares. Dominic Cummings, a government advisor, went off on a jaunt with symptoms during strict lock-down and according to Durham police didn't break any laws.
The police sure as hell aren't interested in your neighbour's mum coming to stay.

FunnysInLaJardin · 28/05/2020 17:24

Oh op, rookie error, thinking the good folk of MN believe that the lock down rules should be observed.

I’ve seen it time and time again and apparently we should all mind our own business and marvel as the death toll rises Hmm

HollowTalk · 28/05/2020 17:24

I'd report it to Dominic Cummings.

Somewhereinthesky · 28/05/2020 17:24

Preparethecat, I just don't get the people who get so angry either way. I am a very rigid person who cannot break rules, so I do get annoyed sometimes and rant to my dh, but that's it. I have someone who I can be as ugly I can be. But there are people who may not have someone to share their negative thought irl. MN is one of the place.
Op is not the sort of person who report everything, otherwise she hasn't posted here to ask, she has done it already. I doubt she really meant to in the first place. It's just an expression of annoyance to let off some steam.

BatShite · 28/05/2020 17:25

Oh, also turned out that arsehole neighbour was having her son visit regularly too. So, Very Bad to see dying relative for half an hour whilst bringing them essentials. Fine for your son to visit you though Hmm

Has seemed to me that those most worked up about others breaking lockdown rules have een breaking them themselves! FB moaners especially, whinging about people sunbathing 2m apart (on the whole) whilst having clapping parties in the street on a weekly basis..not 2m apart!

Aretheystillasleepbob · 28/05/2020 17:25

'I wonder how much police time is being wasted by these neighbourhood vigilantes.x'

none, the police have been and are ignoring these reports.