DBS form insists I use MISS AIBU to insist on MS?

[flamingnoravera]

I have always used Ms as my title. I am trying to complete a DBS form. I selected the title Ms and a box then appears asking me to disclose a previous name. I have never been known by a previous name. Even when I was married I used my current surname. If I check "Miss" the date dissapears but I am 58 years old and I do not use the title Miss. I am not a Miss.

AIBU to not complete the form? The number to call on the top of the online form "is not recognised" and my mobile provider has blocked the number anyway because it is £1.45 a minute.

On a matter of principle I will not be known as Miss. I have umpteen DBS forms which have never thrown up this glitch. AIBU to say "sod it" and insist on a paper form?

qweryuiop the form is an online form so writing NA is not possible. The boxes for date of use of name ONLY appears when I select the title Ms from the title list. There is no option to select no title.
Perhaps I should have gone for "Lady" for a laugh, but but the last person who I knew who did this (she is a Lady- being the daughter of an earl but keeps it quiet) had the HR department gossiping that she had undergone gender reassignment (for which they were reported to the Principal).

I've used Ms since I was about 20 (30 odd years). Unbelievable that some people still don't accept it as a valid title for either an unmarried or a currently married woman.

I agree with some of you actually. 'Miss' just makes me sound young. I'm vain at the end of the day and don't cope well with the ageing process.

Plus, I like 'Miss' because it's all I've ever been; I never got involved in the whole marriage thing. Maybe one day ......

I remember there being a weird idea about Ms being for divorced women in the 1980s but had no idea some people still thought it was true!

I just think of it as the default adult female title. I'd always address any woman who hadn't stated a title as Ms in formal correspondence.

I have been Ms all my adult life, even though I did change my surname when I got married.

I accept 'Ms' absolutely and unequivocally. Just not for me

So you’ve been married and now you’re not, therefore you’re a Ms. Again, whether you like it or not is irrelevant.

You are wrong. OP can call herself Mrs, Miss or Ms exactly based on what she likes to be called. There is no law about titles, like you seem to believe.

How is Mx pronounced please? I don't mind what any one uses, but I'd like to know so that I use it correctly if it's someone's preference.

How is Mx pronounced please?

Yes, I'd like to know too in order that I can get it right.

But you're not lying? You are confirming your name during your marriage which in your case is the same as you never changed it.

You are wrong. OP can call herself Mrs, Miss or Ms exactly based on what she likes to be called. There is no law about titles, like you seem to believe.

Absolutely.

How is Mx pronounced please?

it's pronounced "Attention Seeking".

Stand your ground!
I wonder about changing from Mrs to Ms because I’ve decided I don’t want my name to be defined by my marital status anymore. Wondering if it’s weird to do that after 8 years of marriage though.

It’s simple. Not married? Miss. Married? Mrs. Been married but now divorced? Ms. It’s not archaic just because you don’t agree with it.

This thread is very enlightening - I've never heard of the above rules but then I'm only 45 so maybe this was something invented way before my time? I use a mixture of my married name and my previous name, Mrs and Ms. (I joined MN when I was just married hence the Mrs in my username).
I always assumed I had the autonomy to make my own choice about what I was called

Mx is pronounced mks (a bit like Mc in a scottish name)

Thanks @Mxflamingnoravera

sockyawn ...whatever...

@SlimBig

Stand your ground! I wonder about changing from Mrs to Ms because I’ve decided I don’t want my name to be defined by my marital status anymore. Wondering if it’s weird to do that after 8 years of marriage though.

It’s not really a big deal. Just start selecting Ms instead of Mrs.

I'm married and have never used anything other than Ms.

I did not change my name after I married.

In fact a few years after I got married I was at home with dh and mil, and the phone rang, and someone asked for Mrs. DH's name.

I said 'sure', and handed the phone to mil without thinking twice about it.

There followed a very confused conversation with mil trying to understand why someone was calling her on our number and the person on the other side befuddled as to why this was a relevant question.

I've never thought of myself as a Miss or a Mrs, I started using Ms when I moved to the UK aged 18 and have used it ever since (I'm from one of those countries where your title is related to your age and nothing else).

@Mxflamingnoravera

soupdragon yes I did, but now I want to have a gender and marriage neutral title. I reserve the right to call myself whatever I wish and to change my mind. What I do not want is to call myself Mrs or Miss.

I don't think Mx will become a gender neutral title until men adopt it as well as women - do you know any men who use it?

It's not just online forms that cause problems - years ago a friend of mine kept getting a particular form back because they refused to accept she hadn't changed her name on marriage. Which she couldn't even if she wanted to, because she married someone with the same surname...

Does it matter its a title not your name. Frustrating yes, understandably

If it does not matter, why have titles in the first place?

I don't get why we need the titles of Master, Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms anyway. Dr, Rev etc perhaps.

Yet apparently allowing someone to call themselves 'Ms' on an official form is a step too far and, as some PPs seem to think, 'just being difficult'

Bleeding marvelous innit?

Currently marking assignments and note that students always refer to authors as 'he' even when she (in instances where they have not bothered to chase up the sex of (Smith 2013). Never do they assume that an author is female when the sex is unknown.

This has been an issue for years. How has it not been changed?

That said, I have needed a dbs for the past few years and don't recall having this issue. I'm also a married Ms who didn't change my name.

All those female Dr's who have trouble getting the form to accept you as female - you try being a female Rev!

And no, I'm not, but a previous MIL was. She also had to suffer the Rev and Mrs MILName a lot!