DBS form insists I use MISS AIBU to insist on MS?

[flamingnoravera]

I have always used Ms as my title. I am trying to complete a DBS form. I selected the title Ms and a box then appears asking me to disclose a previous name. I have never been known by a previous name. Even when I was married I used my current surname. If I check "Miss" the date dissapears but I am 58 years old and I do not use the title Miss. I am not a Miss.

AIBU to not complete the form? The number to call on the top of the online form "is not recognised" and my mobile provider has blocked the number anyway because it is £1.45 a minute.

On a matter of principle I will not be known as Miss. I have umpteen DBS forms which have never thrown up this glitch. AIBU to say "sod it" and insist on a paper form?

intheningnangnong makes my blood boil too.

Pan's suggestion might work too, I am sure further on there is a question about having always been known by that name, so you tick yes then.

YANBU.

When it asks you to enter your previous name when you click the ms box, just enter your current surname again

Omg does it really matter? Tick the most appropriate box available and move on with the rest of the form (and your life)!

I just called the form owners (UKCRBS) and they said "the form and the DBS have not reached the 21st century, it is a pain in the bum, you either have to use Miss or Ms and then enter the date you got married and then re-enter your name as if it was a different name" The woman I spoke to was very apologetic and said it makes her cross too!

Don’t “grit your teeth and tick Miss”. It’s about time Ms was recognised as a universal adult female title, or even Mrs in the same way Madame is in France, Señora in Spain etc. This won’t happen unless more people challenge issues like this.

However if you need your DBS quickly I would try the option of entering the same name twice.

Good luck!

Malteserdiet yes it really does matter to me. The form forces me to lie about a name change that never happened and it is an archaic way of thinking about women. It clearly matters, which is why I am here.

I thought everyone was asked about previous names on a DBS regardless of title. I did change my name on marriage so am not entirely sure but I am sure we had a giggle about if DH had taken my name when he filled one in.

YABU. You haven’t been married, so you’re a Miss. Whether or not you like that is irrelevant.

Can you put 'same as before' in the previous name field?

It must be later in the form it asks about previous names for everybody then. Shows how much attention I pay.

Apart from being Stone Age, this is just really weird. If anything I think 'Ms' suggests that you HAVEN'T been married ie don't have a previous name.
I've never been married and always use Ms. I thought this was totally normal.

@heartsonacake

YABU. You haven’t been married, so you’re a Miss. Whether or not you like that is irrelevant.

that is it exactly and it is a very wrong assumption. I used Ms when I was married, never Mrs.

heartsoncake I have been married (RTT). I never used Mrs or Miss. I have always been Ms. Now I want to be Mx

I’m not sure it would boil my piss quite as much but it is another example (in a long list) of forms catering to men more than women. I can guarantee that the form wouldn’t force another surname if the box was ticked Mr.

I actually said about gritting teeth and ticking Miss after exhausting all other options. If other options don't work, right at this moment the OP will either have to do that or find an alternative way of completing the form which will take longer.

Why should women have to declare their marital status through their title and not men? It's wrong, most people know it, now just got to make official forms catch up

Miss make me think of young children. I don't mind using Mrs... But grown women should be allowed to use Ms if they want. (Or Mrs)

@heartsonacake

YABU. You haven’t been married, so you’re a Miss. Whether or not you like that is irrelevant.

It really saddens me that in 2020 we still get people insisting that the infantilisation of unmarried women is totally reasonable.

If unmarried men had to be referred to as Master (like little boys), it would have changed years ago. But they aren’t and never have.

Instead we’re stuck with a whole bunch of people who actually think women’s social status (because lumping unmarried women in with young girls is absolutely a statement about social status) should be determined by whether they’re married or not. In 2020.

This is why I always use Dr. DH (whose surname I do not share often finds himself referred to as Mrs in letters addressed to Dr and Mrs Namechange.

If Dr is not an option, I pick Mr every time too. After all, it’s the closest to my actual title (one letter different). And it’s usually at the top of the list. I’ve had airlines automatically put me as Mr in a boarding pass - because all Dr-s must be Mr-s (cheers Glasgow airport for then insisting it needed to be changed to Mrs - a title I’ve never used; the Spanish authorities managed to leave the Dr on there).

@flamingnoravera

heartsoncake I have been married (RTT). I never used Mrs or Miss. I have always been Ms. Now I want to be Mx

Okay, apologies for not RTFT. So you’ve been married and now you’re not, therefore you’re a Ms. Again, whether you like it or not is irrelevant.

Attempting to insist on Mx is just silly and embarrasses you and women in general.

Even the form producer says it is archaic. They said they have lots of complaints but the DBS insist that it is correct. It is mad because it forces me to lie and say I have had another name.

Anyway I have now completed it and entered my previous name as Flamingnoravera and my birthname as Flamingnoravera. I have done umpteen DBS checks and this has never come up before...

Ms is not a title for a divorced woman. It is a title for a woman who chooses not to disclose her marital status. You are incorrect heartsoncake just plain wrong.

It's sad that some people can't understand why this is such an issue and highly annoying that they insisting that legally you are a miss until married - on account of that not being true. Shows how far we have to go with equality when some people are son blinkered to the issues.

And I am not embarrased by using Mx in the least. I shall use it with abandon from now on. In fact I may change my username to MxFlamingnoravera :)

New name in place :)