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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be annoyed about a trip to the hair dressers?

130 replies

Covidkate · 28/05/2020 08:38

Im sure i cant be the only one noticing people around them getting haircuts?
Ive accidentally synced my phone to my dmil imessaging account (as she signed up using my email when i helped her set up) and discovered that shes booked a hair cut for tomorrow.

She lives with my dbil who is on the official shielding list and is sheilding. She is also a cleaner for elderly retirement flats thing(who has lost 2 clients to covid!)

We were planning on meeting in a park thurs for her birthday, how she thought i wouldnt notice i dont know. Im not really worried for my or my kids safety from her (as will follow social distancing) but am completly outraged! Im later stages of pregnancy so am annoyed shes taking risks when shes our childcare if im in labour so will probably call it off. Half of me whats to go so i can ask why her hair is suddenly permed!

Aibu to call her out on her new cut?

OP posts:
Bleepbloopblarp · 28/05/2020 10:31

I’m very confused - you don’t want her for childcare now she has a hair appointment but we’re happy to have her in spite of her working in a care home that has had covid patients? You do realise she is much more likely to catch it/pass it on from the care home environment than having a mobile hair appointment in her own home?

Where is the logic?

LittleMissRedHat · 28/05/2020 10:35

She is also a cleaner for elderly retirement flats thing(who has lost 2 clients to covid!)

This is a much bigger risk than a mobile hairdresser wearing a mask and gloves and following good hygiene practices. If you accept the risk of her working, in a place that is KNOWN to have had cases of covid and then to look after your children, because it suits you to do so, then I don't understand why seeing the hairdresser is any worse. Just because one is work and one is pleasure does not reduce the risk. You are either worried about risk or you are not, and I know which one one would stop me asking her to look after the children.

Biglittlethings · 28/05/2020 10:37

A radio station rang round 50 barbers and over half of them offered a ‘back room’ cut.

I’m sure some hairdressers are doing the same.

Brefugee · 28/05/2020 10:43

Having read your updates OP I see what your predicament is. Frankly, your choices come down to: will i use MIL or not, despite her job haircut, or will i go it alone and DH does the childcare.

It will depend on your relationship with your MiL and how you approach the haircut thing. So the best thing is to call or message her and ask her outright. So many of the threads here on MN could be resolved with a small amount of honest discussion and this is one of them.

If she has been prepared to use her holiday allowance to isolate prior to being your childcare, you owe her the honesty of telling her you saw the message about the hairdresser, don't you?

Hope it all works out, it sounds horribly scary.

Ponoka7 · 28/05/2020 10:44

@PecorinoPear, you were always allowed to provide care or support. Childcare during labour counts as that.

I suppose with a full face covering, which you can make from a headband and plastic, they won't see the issue. Hairdresser appointments shouldn't be happening in salons, but the main bit being done in a garden, with masks on, poses no risks. Hairdressers are used to not touching their face because of chemicals that they work with. Likewise removing gloves safely etc.

There's people still getting lip fillers, which is just stupid.

Kalifa · 28/05/2020 10:45

YANBU

Aibu to be annoyed about a trip to the hair dressers?
Murinae · 28/05/2020 10:45

We bought clippers and I did my husbands hair after watching a few YouTube videos. We will carry on doing that in the future as I didn’t do a bad job. I trim my own anyway so that doesn’t look any different to normal.

Brefugee · 28/05/2020 10:45

posted to early, from upthread

A scumbag hairdresser has been cutting her scumbag clients hair in lockdown near us, thankfully she was caught last week and received a fixed penalty notice.

People are doing what they have to do to keep their heads above water. As we have seen many self-employed have zero safety net from the Government and still have outgoings and families to look after. So unless she's Vidal Sassoon or Toni and/or Guy or whoever, she probably really needs the money. A bit of empathy wouldn't go amiss. Also, the government says it's ok to use your own judgement, she should ask for her money back.*

*yeah, i know
**not really, she knew the risk.

Original poster
Covidkate · 28/05/2020 10:48

The logic was that she was going to have 2 weeks of work, in order to isolate in preparation. The hair cut doesn't immediately effect that in the 2 weeks hadnt started yet, its more of a reflection that shes probably not going to isolate.

The childcare aspect which i get some people think is really selfish was in anticipation of those replies saying whats it got to do with you / shes an adult making her own choices.

As i say we were meeting to discuss the details and if it would work (as we had a feeling that she has been telling us what we want to hear). We were clutching at straws tbh as my mum was all prepped until a family member got ill.

Ultimately its not going to work probably as although she said she was happy to isolate etc it looks like she might struggle with it.

OP posts:
Blackbear19 · 28/05/2020 10:51

Lots of men have been buying clippers, they are up there with the loo roll, very hard to find in stock!

But while I'm anti hairdressers working I do have an element of sympathy as many of them are falling between the cracks in the support system as they are often self employed.

LellyMcKelly · 28/05/2020 10:57

So are the rules over then? Have we just stopped listening to the government now?

MorganKitten · 28/05/2020 11:03

Lots are running here and beauty shops, just bringing the blinds down so no one can see. I know someone who had their hair done - double the price.

UncleFoster · 28/05/2020 11:17

I have cut and died my own hair. It looks pretty good actually, not as good as my current hairdresser but not bad at all. Id be pissed off if someone decided id been to a hiardresser just because my roots were no longer dark

I dont know anyone whos had a proper haircut.

You are willing to break the rules when it suits you OP. But judging MIL. This is realistically all about how its inconvenient for you.

matchboxtwentyunwell · 28/05/2020 11:19

My hairdresser and her shop have been very responsible. They closed down when they were told to in March, and have since not been doing hair. They have made suggestions for their clients re what to do/not do to their hair while they're awaiting the re-opening, and they've all taken Covid courses in the meantime so when they do re open, they'll re open safely. They are tentatively hoping to be re opening on July 4th ... fingers crossed.

okiedokieme · 28/05/2020 11:20

Could seriously do with finding one for dp, I'm living with an aging hippy at the moment!

userxx · 28/05/2020 11:32

A scumbag hairdresser has been cutting her scumbag clients hair in lockdown near us, thankfully she was caught last week and received a fixed penalty notice.

Wow. What a nasty piece of work you are.

SimonJT · 28/05/2020 11:33

I’m not the one putting peoples health at risk and breaking the law, so I’ll sleep well.

DomDoesWotHeWants · 28/05/2020 11:37

As soon as possible I hope to have my hair cut sitting on a chair in the garden. I'll wash it before she arrives. We'll both wear masks. The colour can wait but I'm desperate for a cut when it's allowed.

Nanny0gg · 28/05/2020 11:41

My friend can't wait for the 'bubbles' to operate as her son is a hairdresser and he's happy to cut it al fresco!

I am so jealous...

Legoandloldolls · 28/05/2020 11:49

I have and dyed my own hair and cut my kids hair. I didnt even think anyone would presume we had broken rules and seen a hairdresser.

Are people really micro analysing people they shouldn't even be seeing? Or people they get within two metres of?

userxx · 28/05/2020 11:55

I’m not the one putting peoples health at risk and breaking the law, so I’ll sleep well.

Let me guess, you're one of the stay the fuck at home brigade. In the real world people are being made homeless and struggling to feed their kids but as long as you sleep well.

DomDoesWotHeWants · 28/05/2020 11:58

Let me guess, you're one of the stay the fuck at home brigade. In the real world people are being made homeless and struggling to feed their kids but as long as you sleep well.

We are all supposed to be staying home for now, no need to be so aggressive. If we come out too quickly we'll have to lock down again.

SauvignonBlanche · 28/05/2020 11:59

[quote userxx]@CurtainWitcher I've been mixing with people everyday at work who aren't part of my household, Does working throughout all this make me a dick? [/quote]
No, of course not, but getting your hair cut certainly does. Hmm

I’ve been working throughout as an NHS nurse and on my day off I heard my name being called in the street, it was my hairdresser in his car, I was walking. He gave me his mobile number and said I could call him if I wanted a cut. I was caught off guard and took it off him and of course I’m tempted - I look a fright!

I’m not going to though as I’m not a twat or a hypocrite like Dominic fucking Cummings. As an HCP I’ve got a personal and professional duty to uphold public health guidance and that’s more important than what I look like.

Rhayader · 28/05/2020 12:00

I cut DHs and DSs hair and it looks pretty good! I don’t think everyone with a haircut has been to a hairdresser.

SimonJT · 28/05/2020 12:01

@userxx

I’m not the one putting peoples health at risk and breaking the law, so I’ll sleep well.

Let me guess, you're one of the stay the fuck at home brigade. In the real world people are being made homeless and struggling to feed their kids but as long as you sleep well.

Oddly enough I’m following the rules, as everyone else should. I’ve been furloughed, just gone back to work (on reduced pay), my boyfriend has lost his job. But I don’t value money or the appearance of my hair over the actual lives of other people.
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