To ask if you had a talkative DC, did it impact them socially?

[MumNeedsTea]

I usually don't post in AIBU, so please be kind.

I have a 7 yo DC who literally never stops talking!! I know children sometimes love to talk, but I've never met another child who talks as much. Some my friends and his friends' mums have also commented on it in the past. Nothing nasty, but something along the lines of 'do you ever get a word in edgewise with him around!?' kind of comments.

He won't even sit quietly when he's watching TV... There's always a constant commentary about what's going on! Same when he's playing a game. If I have to hear about what's happening in Minecraft one more time, I'll go mad!

I was just wondering if you've had such a DC and did it get better over time? And if not, did they have issues maintaining friendships? If I find him irritating at times, I worry how he must come across to his friends. He has some really good friends and in some ways being talkative makes him more social, but I worry for when he's an adult continues the same behaviour.
He also has this thing about not stopping once he starts. Like he'll start telling me something and I'll ask him to wait if I'm in the middle of something.. He'll say OK, but still continue. Almost as if he really hasn't registered my request. And he loves repeating instructions!

Maybe it's just this bloody lockdown that's making me question all this. If you've managed to get this far, thank you

I have a 5 year old that doesn't stop talking and my other DD was the same at that age. My eldest is a social butterfly and it's never hindered her being so talkative although sometimes I feel like people think she's cleverer than she is as talks so much.
I know what you mean I get sick of the comments about my youngest talking so much, people saying she's hard work, she's cheeky and a handful - all because she's a talker. Doesn't bother me as my other daughter was the same.

Do I need to worry about Adhd/ASD? Who do I need to speak with if I wanted a diagnosis?

All three of mine are chatterboxes.

We've had to work really hard on making them take turns, and I often send them away because I need some quiet.

My middle child really struggled with stopping if I asked him to, but he's slowly starting to understand (he's 7 too).

I think just persevere with stopping him if you are busy/on the phone etc, so he learns he can't always talk.

I think you might want to work on social queues. So if someone looks bored or yawns they must shut up immediately.

My DS literally never shut up- talked and talked and talked. ADHD was muttered by teachers in reception /year 1 but he is now in Y6 and is much, much better. I know he used to irritate some other parents as he asked loads of questions etc. I think some thought he was a bit precocious....
He is very bright, knows a lot about a lot of things and is very kind, considerate etc. Has lots of friends. Still talks too much sometimes but we let him know when he is! No adhd etc.
He is very good company now and to be honest, far more interesting to talk to than his older sister who is just obsessed with make up, celebrities and TikTok....

My ds15 is also like this. He was diagnosed with autistic traits when younger and one thing was definitely not being able to read the room ie not knowing when someone genuinely doesn't give a flying fuck about your Minecraft world. He is still like it now to an extent. He's got better after lots and lots (I mean, fucking years) of "it's ok to think something and not say it" and "how can you tell when someone is interested?" type of explorations but he genuinely seems to have a compulsion to talk; he gets agitated if he can't. He did struggle socially when he got to late tween years but after a term or so at secondary school he "found his people" as they say - ie all of his close friends are nerd/geeks who are happy to go into forensic levels of detail about really very boring stuff so they just all talk at each other for hours and the other kids seem to think it's cool because they're clever and quirky. He's even had several girlfriends 😮😮 He gets them to watch Dr Who though so they don't last long ...

No I wouldn’t worry about anything. Sometimes kids are just like that. Just keep correcting his manners if he tries to interrupt and ensure he waits his turn to speak.

Glad it’s not just me that worries about appearing disinterest. I’d hate that to be a memory of his when he’s older

It's definitely been harder during the lockdown with DH and I working from home full time! I've lost count of the number of times my calls have been interrupted.. Luckily, my colleagues are very understanding

@Heroicasymphony would your son be interested in listening to forensic detail rubix cube algorithms, timings, changing the bushings or whatever they are and.... LUBE

Mine both used to be like that. Then teenage years arrived. Shut doors, and grunts. Not sure which I prefer...?.

Thank you all for your reassuring words! I'm going to work his boundaries and social ques without getting cross.

*on his

Oh God probably @Thatbitchcarolebaskin (although I don't know about lube?) Certainly whatever obsession is flavour of the month, he would quite happily monologue for hours on if unchecked. When we were on holiday in Andalusia three years ago it was all about the economic performance of Bangladesh. Trust me, not all the sangria in the world is enough.

@Heroicasymphony the lube helps the rubix cube move more smoothly and quickly apparently

Oh god it sounds awful. Have we got this to come?!

My son has always been a talker but he is very popular with his peers

He has not really grown out of it tbh. He does have a bit more control as to when it's appropriate to speak but not always.

Hahaha of course it does!

I dunno about your future. Hopefully it won't be quite as bad. Although I will say that in regard to other aspects of relating to people he is spot on and often notices all sorts of subtle implications around how they behave plus he is very perceptive and determined to see the good in them.

So there are positives to having a relentlessly sociable and enthusiastic child.

Dts are 10. They literally do not stop. Ever. One of them speaks in her sleep. All night long.

It's nit just speaking to each other, if they're away from each other for a bit they speak at whoever else is in the vicinity.

They have loads of friends and I'm not worried about anything else. They just do not stop talking.

Makes my head feel likes it's going to explode sometimes.

Such a refreshing post. My daughter spoke non stop from about 2. It was relentless questions, discussions, why this, why that. I had to remind myself that it was a good thing. It’s tiring though. I used to sometimes think “please just shush for five minutes”! I now work with someone who is exactly the same. It’s driving me insane.

You're post put such a smile on my face I have one of those too, my DD is 9, it's getting better but slowly. My Mum tells me that my sister was the same, as was her eldest child. So I'm putting this down to being a trait of the first born child and if my DD ever has a child she'd better watch out!

I too have the same concerns as you but looking at my sister and my niece they no issues socially and have learnt to take a breath and listen.

My DS13 doesn't stop ether. Didn't talk till he was nearly 4 and hasn't stopped since.
Diagnosed at 8 with high functioning autism.

My DH's cousin has a child with Asperger's and it was a real problem. However, they did teach him "turn-taking" skills and how to gauge whether he had been talking for too long a period of time. It took a lot of patience, and I don't think he really understands why he needs to follow these rules, but he does it regardless.

I'm glad I started this post... All your DC sound so endearing

For everyone who's DC has a diagnosis, did you seek one out yourself, or was this suggested by GP/teacher who suspected something? Was the nonstop talking the only symptom?
I may need to get on Google to find out more...

My DD was super talkative at that age. She's 10 now and has definitely chilled out a lot, but still has a bad habit of interrupting people, which I always pull her up on. She's always had lots of friends, so it hasn't affected her socially. She seems to be more like this at home. At school she's the model of good behaviour and never interrupts the teacher!!

*whose